While eating lunch today, I found a single fusilli amongst my penne
You can say I spotted an impasta.
A Macaroni, a Penne and a Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening. They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them.
They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.
EDIT; Thank you for all the awards, I guess I pasta test!
I can't believe Penn State took the Joe Paterno Statue down.
They should have just turned it so it looked the other way.
I read the other day that Penn State has spent $237 million defending the university during the Sandusky lawsuit. Think of how many peoples’ education that would pay for.
At least 4 or 5.
Italians should lay off the penne and linguine for a while.
It's the obvious cause for why so many have pasta way.
It's my cake day but I'm really sad. My wife and I got into a huge fight. She went shopping and spent a ton of money on a bag of pasta.
Can you believe that? A bag of pasta!
She insists it will be worth every penne.
What do you call an Italian cook who steals from his restaurant?
a penne pincher
Jerry Sandusky Penn State molestation charges affirmed in Court today.
Will there be a book? "From Penn State to State Pen: The Jerry Sandusky Story."
Penn State University
At Penn State University were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all da...
Penn State Prefers to be losing at half time..
Because at Penn State they like when you are a little behind in the locker room. - South Park
Penn State has taken down the statue of Joe Paterno.
However, they have opted to leave his name on the library, as a reminder to stay quiet.
A New Yorker Asks for a Cab Ride to Chicago
A man gets in a cab at 33rd St. and Park Ave. and says, "I need to get to the Palmer House."
The cabbie says, "The Palmer House Hotel?"
The man says, "Yeah."
The cabbie says, "That's on Wabash in Chicago."
The man says, "Yeah."
The cabbie says, "I'm not gonna drive...
Bank Robber : Wherr is the safe?
Bank Robber : WTF. Where is the safe?
Penn : He always does this.
I spent my entire life savings on Pasta
It was worth every Penne.
What’s a noodle that only costs one cent?
What do you call designer pasta?
What did Forrest Gump say when asked what his favorite type of pasta is?
I love you Penne
Did you hear about the travelling pasta salesman?
His commission was penne's on the dollar
What do you call a white hat hacker from Pennsylvania?
A penn tester
What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?
A young boy starts choking on some pennies
The boys dad runs to him and tries to help him cough them out. After unsuccessfully helping, he grabs his phone and calls the local doctor for help.
"Doctor, My son had swallowed some pennies, and he is choking on them, please come quickly before he gets hurt"
"Sorry sir, I'm currently...
I’m 3’6”, which makes certain daily tasks extremely difficult. Recently, I spent a good 10 minutes in my local supermarket wondering how to get the pasta down from the top shelf.
Then suddenly the penne dropped.
Having intercourse is like having pasta
Because it involves penne tration
I didn't understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down...
Then the Penne dropped
What does Elton John have after getting drunk at an Italian restaurant?
Penne and regrets
I thought of writing a letter to my Grandma to tell her that I’m quitting University to pursue a career in Magic
But and just couldn’t pick up the Penn and Teller.
I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling
He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.
My wife put me in charge of buying prizes for the games at our 5 year old's birthday party.
I got a bag of fusilli and a bag of penne. They're going to love pasta parcel.
What do you call the place where bad noodles live?
What do you call noodles who can’t remember anything?
I’d like to apologize for wasting your time with these terrible jokes, just trying to get pasta really boring morning.
I hope my internet points don’t take a hit too, that would cost me a ...
My coworker was noodling on an idea
So I offered her a penne for her thoughts
How much do noodles cost?
How much do noodles cost? About a penne.
My flatmates said I wasted my money buying a kilo of pasta..
..but I say it was worth every penne.
I started eating more pasta, and suddenly became psychic...
... you could say I had *penne* for their thoughts.
Everyone knows how Bert the Brown Nose reindeer got his name, but nobody knows how Rudolph did
Rudolph the regular nose reindeer was on sabbatical and took a brief trip through Portland Maine.
While Rudolph and his life partner Gary were there, they spotted a fortune teller on the other side of the street. As the pair crossed the road, a truck carrying industrial red naval paint swerv...
Little Johnny Asks His Mum About Magic.
Little Johnny goes to his mum after watching Penn and Teller and says “mum can you show me some magic?”. His mum replies “ No Johnny, I’m too busy, go ask your father.” Johnny runs out to the garage where his dad is working and asks “Daddy, will you show me some magic?” Dad says “ No ...
My wife was feeling down...
So i pulled a piece of pasta from my pocket, handed it to her, and asked "penne for your thoughts?" Now I'm divorced and without a home for telling a fusili pasta jokes.
What do you call the aspect of pasta that allows it to stab you?
The penne trait
A tale of colonial Pennsylvania
When William Penn first started settling the area, he of course moved his extended family with him. Two of his aunts found great success in selling many different kinds of pies. And very quickly the sisters realized they could make a lot more money if the raised their prices. Well long story short, ...
My mom won't let me eat while using her laptop anymore...
Because when she caught me stroganoff I dropped my pennes on the keyboard.
In an Italian restaurant, if you saved any amount of pipe shaped pasta, you could take it home.
Each penne saved was a penne earned.
I just ate some pasta...
...and it was worth every Penne.
^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)
Where does an Italian keep their loose change?
In their penne jar
Did you guys hear about the Italian Chef that died recently?
>He pasta way. >>We cannoli do so much. >>>His legacy will become a pizza history. >>>>Here today, gone tomato. >>>>>How sad that he ran out of thyme. >>>>>>Sending olive my prayers to the family. >>>>>&g...
I bet the way a young lady earns a "Girls Gone Wild" shirt is very similar to
the way a young man earns a Penn State sweatshirt.
What does expensive pasta cost?
A pretty penne
My sister told me I'd never be able to kill a man with my pasta...
... She soon learned that the penne's mightier than the sword!
So I asked my wife, were you faking it last night?
She said: no I really was asleep.
(I heard this from Gazzo on Penn & Teller: Fool Us)
There's an Italian town where pasta is a currency
A penne for their thoughts.