At Penn State University were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all da...
What does Elton John have after getting drunk at an Italian restaurant?
Penne and regrets
Bank Robber : Wherr is the safe?
Bank Robber : WTF. Where is the safe?
Penn : He always does this.
What kind of pasta is served at Forrest Gumps restaurant?
I didn't understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down...
Then the Penne dropped
Penn State has taken down the statue of Joe Paterno.
However, they have opted to leave his name on the library, as a reminder to stay quiet.
Penn State has missed two extra points today
which is weird because they are usually pretty consistent about doing the little things.
Penn State Prefers to be losing at half time..
Because at Penn State they like when you are a little behind in the locker room. - South Park
I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling
He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
What do you call an Italian having sex?
Everyone knows how Bert the Brown Nose reindeer got his name, but nobody knows how Rudolph did
Rudolph the regular nose reindeer was on sabbatical and took a brief trip through Portland Maine.
While Rudolph and his life partner Gary were there, they spotted a fortune teller on the other side of the street. As the pair crossed the road, a truck carrying industrial red naval paint swerv...
I thought of writing a letter to my Grandma to tell her that I’m quitting University to pursue a career in Magic
But and just couldn’t pick up the Penn and Teller.
My wife went shopping and we got into a fight
My wife went shopping and we got into a fight when she came home.
She spent $1000 on a bag of pasta. I couldn't believe it, and I lost my temper.
But she reassured me that it would be worth every penne.
Little Johnny Asks His Mum About Magic.
Little Johnny goes to his mum after watching Penn and Teller and says “mum can you show me some magic?”. His mum replies “ No Johnny, I’m too busy, go ask your father.” Johnny runs out to the garage where his dad is working and asks “Daddy, will you show me some magic?” Dad says “ No ...
I started eating more pasta, and suddenly became psychic...
... you could say I had *penne* for their thoughts.
What do you call the place where bad noodles live?
What do you call noodles who can’t remember anything?
I’d like to apologize for wasting your time with these terrible jokes, just trying to get pasta really boring morning.
I hope my internet points don’t take a hit too, that would cost me a ...
My coworker was noodling on an idea
So I offered her a penne for her thoughts
How much do noodles cost?
How much do noodles cost? About a penne.
A tale of colonial Pennsylvania
When William Penn first started settling the area, he of course moved his extended family with him. Two of his aunts found great success in selling many different kinds of pies. And very quickly the sisters realized they could make a lot more money if the raised their prices. Well long story short, ...
Over the weekend I was sat next to a person eating a bowlful of those really fat pasta tubes in a tomato sauce. As I watched, one got nearer to the edge of the bowl but I couldn't mention it because the person was deep in conversation. I agonised for a few seconds wondering how I could stop a me...
What do you call a greedy Italian?
A penne pincher
A young boy starts choking on some pennies
The boys dad runs to him and tries to help him cough them out. After unsuccessfully helping, he grabs his phone and calls the local doctor for help.
"Doctor, My son had swallowed some pennies, and he is choking on them, please come quickly before he gets hurt"
"Sorry sir, I'm currently...
What do you call the aspect of pasta that allows it to stab you?
The penne trait
In an Italian restaurant, if you saved any amount of pipe shaped pasta, you could take it home.
Each penne saved was a penne earned.
Where does an Italian keep their loose change?
In their penne jar
My wife was feeling down...
So i pulled a piece of pasta from my pocket, handed it to her, and asked "penne for your thoughts?" Now I'm divorced and without a home for telling a fusili pasta jokes.
My flatmates said I wasted my money buying a kilo of pasta..
..but I say it was worth every penne.
My mom won't let me eat while using her laptop anymore...
Because when she caught me stroganoff I dropped my pennes on the keyboard.
I bet the way a young lady earns a "Girls Gone Wild" shirt is very similar to
the way a young man earns a Penn State sweatshirt.
I just ate some pasta...
...and it was worth every Penne.
^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)
What does expensive pasta cost?
A pretty penne
Did you guys hear about the Italian Chef that died recently?
>He pasta way. >>We cannoli do so much. >>>His legacy will become a pizza history. >>>>Here today, gone tomato. >>>>>How sad that he ran out of thyme. >>>>>>Sending olive my prayers to the family. >>>>>&g...
So I asked my wife, were you faking it last night?
She said: no I really was asleep.
(I heard this from Gazzo on Penn & Teller: Fool Us)
My sister told me I'd never be able to kill a man with my pasta...
... She soon learned that the penne's mightier than the sword!
There's an Italian town where pasta is a currency
A penne for their thoughts.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I'm at the bar the other night and this beautiful woman approached me.
She said "I'll screw your brains out if you buy me a bowl of macaroni."
I said, "Really!? What are you, a pasta-tute?"
And then, that very same girl came up to me the next day and I asked her what she charg...