UPJOKE
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Of all modern inventions the whiteboard is....

the most remarkable.

I love whiteboards.

They're remarkable.

I’m a big fan of whiteboards.

I find them quite re-markable.

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard:

*"Woman without her man is nothing."* The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.

The men wrote: *"Woman, without her man, is nothing."*

The women wrote: *"Woman! Without her, man is nothing."*

My friend covered their walls with whiteboard paint

I’ve never seen something so remarkable

Back in my day we used to only have chalkboards. The new whiteboards they use are

Remarkable

I bought an amazing new whiteboard.

It’s absolutely remarkable.

I’ve got this whiteboard for sale. You’ll love it.

It’s remarkable!

Whiteboards are the best...

In fact you could say they're remarkable

Teacher joke: Why was the whiteboard marker always so angry?

Because he was irascible.

I started a new business.

*Really? What business are you in?*

The dry-erase whiteboard business.

*And how’s business?*

Remarkable.

When I was in school every classroom had a chalkboard. Now every classroom has a whiteboard.

They are remarkable.

Why are there whiteboards standing out in each class in school?

Because they are remarkable!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher finds his students have drawn penises on the whiteboard, so he rubs them all off.

He is now a registered sex offender.

I was amazed to find out that Europeans use whiteboards the same way as Americans...

They just pick up the marker, Denmark on it.

What’s the most remarkable invention of the last century?

The whiteboard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is a new teacher in a school, and she is sent to the worst class with the laziest and the most spoiled kids.

The new teacher starts introducing herself to the first-graders, asking some questions to them, hoping to get them to like her.

She decided to start the lesson in a fun way to get the children's attention. So she starts drawing some pictures on the whiteboard and asks the children what has s...

A thread of all the best jokes Siri has ever told me.

One day I was looking for creative task avoidance tactics, so I asked Siri to tell me a joke. Here are some of the best she had:

1. Whiteboards are quite remarkable.

2. Pavlov’s hair wasn’t always so silky. He had to condition it.

3. Did you hear about the band called 1023MB? Th...

My teacher asked me what I found to be the most remarkable place..

I said: the whiteboard

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a bearded man who makes vases?

A Hairy Potter

Credit to the guy who writes jokes on the whiteboard in my science class.

At school

A teacher writes on the whiteboard: HNO3 and asks a student:

\- What substance is that?

\- Hmmm... wait a moment... It's on the tip of my tongue!

\- Spit it out at once!!! That's nitric acid!

I may have witnessed the exact moment my high school became racist.

It's when they changed all the blackboards into whiteboards. There's no way they could just chalk it up.

21 One-Liners

1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant.



4. Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.

5. I ...

Why do we use whiteboards instead of blackboards?

Because black boards matter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny

Little Johnny is sitting in class. The teacher draws a banana on the whiteboard and asks the class, "Class, can anyone guess what this fruit is?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and shouts, "That's not a fruit, it's a penis!"

Little Suzie, offended at hearing the word "penis," immediate...

The Perfect Military Life Insurance Salesman

A military life insurance salesman has a perfect record of sales. His supervisor was amazed and wanted to know his secret, so he secretly went to one of the meetings the saleman was hosting. He saw a whiteboard with a long bar and a far shorter bar drawn on it.

"This," said the salesman, poin...

A son came home from school and told his dad he got expelled.

Dad: "How?"

Son: "I wrote 2+2=41 on the whiteboard.

Dad: "well, that's pretty dumb but-

Son: "Then my teacher told me to go back up to the board..."

Dad: Ok...

Son: "... and rub one out."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mechanical Engineer, a Special Projects Solution Consultant, and a Software Engineering were riding in a car over a mountain pass....

....Suddenly, the brakes fail just as they crest the rise.

As they begin to plummet unchecked down the mountain, the driver begins a miraculous set of actions, feathering the body of the car against the side of the mountain as well as other vehicles, while simultaneously downshifting the eng...

The classroom was silent

The classroom was silent. Mrs Smith was handing out to students their last homework sheet. As she did it, she wrote the word plenipotentiary on the whiteboard. Then she turned around and said, " Attention boys and girls. This word is almost hardest English word in the world. So, your job is to put t...

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