This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife and I now only have what I call “hallway” sex

We pass each other in the hallway,..fuck you!,..fuck you!

school hallways

so I overheard this during school today

friend 1: hey I saw a poster for schrödinger's cat the other day

friend 2: neat

friend 1: it was wanted dead and alive

The president is walking down a narrow hallway

Mitch McConnell was walking down the hallway in the same direction but, being half-tortoise, was moving far slower.

Trump pushes past him, shouting, "Get outta my way!"

McConnell says, "Pardon me, Mr. President."

Trump stops and turns around. "I didn't know you worked on my cam...

A blonde, a brunette, and a black-haired girl are walking down their high school hallway

when they come across a genie's lamp. The black-haired girl rubs it, and a genie comes out. He tells them that he'll give each of them three wishes if they say something true about themselves. If not, they'll go "poof", and die.

So the black-haired girl squeals, "I think I'm the prettiest gir...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A dominatrix walks down the hallway of her brothel...

...into one of the many rooms. Inside, there's a man blindfolded, handcuffed, and chained to the floor. She walks up and slaps him as hard as she can and says, "Who's my little bitch?"

The man screams and yells, "What the fuck are doing?"

The mistress was confused, she'd been prepped f...

What's black and white, red all over, and can't turn around in a hallway?

A nun with a spear through her

(Told this to a nun in highschool during class. She threw a blackboard eraser at me but laughed)

Two physicists are walking down a hallway

One says, "kilogrammetersquaredpersecondcubed"

The second responds, "Watt?"

A caterer was sprinting down the hallway with a pan of scrambled eggs. My first instinct repsonse:

"I hope they like their eggs runny"

Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford pass each other in the hallway (Oldie but a goodie)

Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford pass each other in the hallway. Nixon bumps into Ford's shoulder. Embarrassed, Nixon turns to Ford and says "Pardon me!"

And so he did.

President Trump bumped into Mike Pence in a White House hallway this morning...

Trump said "Pardon me."

The mathematician awakens, and finds another fire in the hallway.

He looks out the door, then goes back to bed. The house ends up burning down, but the physicist and engineer manages to save the mathematician. When asked why he didn't put out the fire, he says: "I saw the fire, I saw the extinguisher, the solution was trivial."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Hallway Sex

When a husband and wife get married, they have house sex, where they fuck all over the house.

Couple years go by, they have a kid, and stick mainly to bedroom sex.

Fifteen years go by, and they got two teenage kids. They resort to hallway sex.

They pass each other in the hallwa...

Trump and his son DT Jr. bump into each other in the hallway.

"Pardon me dad"

How to make girls feel safe in the hallways

I often find myself walking behind various girls while I'm going about my day and I'm always concerned I'm making them feel unsafe. So I like to remind myself not to walk like a rapist.

I find this works much better if I don't say it out loud.

How many Jedi does it take to screw in a hallway lightbulb?

None, because once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] Two doctors pass each other in a hallway and one asks to borrow the other's pen

So the other says, "Sure, here you go."

The first doctor looks at what he was just handed and says, "This isn't a pen. It's a rectal thermometer."

The other says, "Sorry, some asshole has my pen."

What's three feet tall and can't turn around in a hallway?

A toddler with a harpoon in it's throat.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I rolled over and saw a girl laying in bed next to me.

"How the fuck did you get in here?" I asked.

She said, "You don't remember last night, do you?"

"I do," I replied, "But my hallway is narrow."

A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician are walking down a hallway...

when they notice with alarm that a fire has broken out in a nearby lab.

The physicist immediately shouts "I know what to do! We must cool down the mate­ri­als until their tem­per­a­ture is lower than the igni­tion tem­per­a­ture and then the fire will go out."

The chemist then cries "N...

A man is walking down a hallway when he accidentally bumps into a woman with a lazy eye...

"Hey! Why don't you watch where you're going!" She exclaims. The man replies, "Why don't you go where you're watching?"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A child comes home and shouts from the hallway...

A child comes home and shouts from the hallway:

"Mom! Mom!"

A scream comes from the kitchen:

"What are you yelling for?! Come here and say what you want like a normal human being!"

The kid stomps across the apartment and walks up to her:

"Mom, I just stepped into d...

A 9 year old kid walks down the hallway of his house

and hears something coming from his older sisters room. He peeks through the keyhole and sees his sister naked caressing herself and saying, "Oh, I want a boy, Oh I need a boy."

The boy didn't understand so he kept walking to his room. The next day he looked through the keyhole again and saw...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Nurse walking down a hallway reaches into her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer...

She says, "Great, some asshole's got my pen."

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

On hat said to the other: you stay here; I'll go on a head.

Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school...

... When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and ...

Why was the tampon flying down the school hallway?

He was late for his next period.

I told you I was broke

A little lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning" said the young man. "If I can take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high power vacuum cleaner"

"G...

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Hanging in the hallway at a high school are...

...the basketball team pictures from the past decades. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "92-93," "93-94," "94-95," etc.

One day the principal spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos.

Turning to the principal, ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I told my husband that I would be home by midnight.

"I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.

Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckoo'ed three times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probabl...

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A man wakes up after a night out with the boys with a horrible hangover

He realizes that he's home, in his bed. With growing shock he realizes that he's wearing pajamas. He notices a glass of water on his night stand, a couple of aspirins, and a note.

The note reads, "Darling, I'm off to the store. Breakfast is on the table. eternally yours, your loving wife". <...

Have you heard about the cult of teenage girls who worship the German physicist Georg Simon Ohm?

In schools everywhere, you can hear them praying in the hallways: "Ohm, my God!"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A nurse is walking down the hallway...

A doctor notices something odd.

Doc says, "why do you have a thermometer in your ear?"

The nurse grabs the thermometer and sighs, "shit, some asshole has my pen!"


This was one of my dad's favorites.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Man’s wife is on life support and the only way to bring her back to normal is oral sex.

A man’s standing by his wife on life support as the doctor walks into the room.

“Sir, the only way you can get your wife back to normal is oral sex”

“Are you sure about that? That seems odd doesn’t it?”

“I’m afraid we looked at all the options and it’s the only way”

“For...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A lawyer dies and goes to hell...

The devil pulls up his file on his computer and sighs “You’ve been a naughty boy haven’t you? Extortion, gambling, sex with prostitutes and even murder!”

The lawyer hangs his head in shame and the devil pats him lightly on the shoulder.

“I’m a fair guy, what I’m going to do is let you...

A man spends the entire night getting hammered at his local pub.

After last call, the man stands up from his stool but falls flat on his face trying to walk. He pulls himself up in the doorway of the bar, attempts to stand, but falls flat on his face to the sidewalk. He drags himself to his car and drives home. He tries to unlock his front door, finally gets it u...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A boy is at school, and they start the day by telling riddles

The boy says: it goes in, it goes out! The teacher becomes red and angry. Get out! The teacher said. So the boy goes onto the hallway. There he meets the principle, who asks him what he is doing there. I got send out of class, because I asked: it goes in, it goes out! The principal get angry, and sa...

An old man was on his deathbed at home.

Suddenly, the aroma of his favorite cookies baking in the oven wafted up to him. My wife, still a doll! With all his might he pulled himself out of bed and walked shakily down the stairs. Wavering down the hallway and into the kitchen, he sees the first batch cooling on the counter.

He slowly...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

When my wife and I first got married; we'd do it everywhere around the house...

... the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, you name it.

Now that we're older though... We just have hallway sex. That's where we pass each other in the hallway and say "Fuck you!".

Peter is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye

It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought..

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A salesman is peddling his goods from door to door in a massive high-rise building.

He knocks at a young man’s apartment and asks him, “Would you like to buy a top-of-the-line toothbrush? It’s only ten dollars.”

“Ten bucks for a toothbrush!” the man yells. “What moron would pay ten dollars for a toothbrush? You’re out of your mind.”

“All right then,” the salesman cont...

A man named Tucker, dies and goes to hell

There, a demon takes Tucker to a hallway with three doors. The demon says (in a deep demonic voice) “You must choose one room, where you will spend the next thousand years!”

The demon opens the first door. Inside there is a man in a pit of fire, screaming in agony. Tucker says “Nooo no no! De...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A good bar joke that always makes women laugh

Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he as feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was couple of ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A nurse, who works in the ER, arrives for her shift

she spots a little boy, who is sitting in the hallway, crying his eyes out.
She asks him: "What happend? Can I help you?"
Boy: "My mother just died from a traffic accident."
Nurse: " Iam so sorry, shall I get you a priest?"
Boy: "No, thank you, Iam not in the mood for sex."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes to hell and the devil greets him.

He takes him to a hallway which has three different doors and tells the man he'll have to choose one room to spend the rest of eternity in.
So he takes him to the first door and he opens it and sees everyone standing on their heads on wooden floors. The man thought that would be pretty terrible t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Group of middle school students visit the Vatican

The teacher guides them through the hallways and tells them about the paintings.

Teacher: "This famous painting made Michelangelo represents the God creating Adam. Can someone tell us what they see here?"

Susan decides to speak:

"Nice muscles", she says

Teacher is furiou...

After his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.

“Ciao, Luigi. How wassa the trip?” His friend said.

“Everything was perfecto, except for the train down.” Luigi said

“Virginia and I boarda da train at Grand Central Station. Virginia packa a huge picnic basket. But the conductore came, waga his finger and said: ‘no eat in disa car. M...

Sisters of Mercy

A guy is driving down the highway late at night, when he sees a sign that said, "Sisters of mercy: House of prostitution" 3 miles. Thinking he must be tired and seeing things, he gives it no more thought.

Further down the road he sees another sign that said, "Sisters of Mercy: House of Prost...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Grateful Girl

A man goes into his usual bar and says to the bartender, "You'll never guess what happened to me last night!"


Bartender says, "What happened?"


"Well", says the man, "After I left here I was walking home on my usual route when I saw a girl tied to the railways tracks. I ran ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Five Kinds of Sex

The first is Smurf Sex.
This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

The second is Kitchen Sex.
This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime. Hence, also in the kitchen.

The third kind is Bedroom Sex. ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Logic

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and
thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first one went to see a
professor who told him to take math, history, and logic.


"What's logic?" asked the first redneck.
The professor answered "Let ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A son goes up to his father,

And just turning 16, asks him "Dad, can I take the car? I'd really like to take this girl on a date."
His father looks at him, and says "Son, if you want to take my car, there are three things I'm going to need from you.
First is that you need to start helping your mother around the house. N...

Boudreaux, Tibideaux, and Pierre want to work for the FBI...

But being 3 Cajuns from the south proved a challenge, since they weren't the brightest bunch, but they tried their hardest. After taking courses for 2 years the three had a good chance of passing.

It all came to a final test, a loyalty test. The instructor said to the Cajuns, "The final test ...

Sisters of Saint Mary's House of Prostitution

A man is driving down the road when he sees a sign that says, "Sisters of Saint Mary's House of Prostitution - 3 miles." He is intrigued.

A short time later, he sees another sign that says, "Sisters of Saint Mary's House of Prostitution - 1 mile." He slows down a little to give himself a litt...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So a new guy joins the navy...

And when he gets on his first boat, the captain welcomes him. “What’s up new guy, lemme show u around the ship.” For the next few hours they tour the ship going from bunks to the corridors, everything you can imagine. Eventually the new guy stops him with a question in mind.
He asks, “ Hey, it’s...

A man was out for a hike on a mountain when he's caught in a storm. Afraid of traversing the narrow roads in foul weather, he sought help in the first building he saw - a monastery...

"Of course, you can stay here until the morning. We even have spare rooms you can stay in." said the monk, who answered the door.


The man gratefully accepted the offer and followed the monk to the room. He quickly changed out of his wet clothes and lay in bed, only to notice a muffled ...

The President of the U.S. receives a call from the Treasury Department.

-Madam President, we are upgrading the vaults where we keep the gold reserve. Three designs are finalists, but you need to select the one we will use.

-What are the options?

-The first one is a made of reinforced concrete surrounding a steel cage with a nickel content of 8%. The second...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman is getting worried on the night of her arranged wedding.

Having never had sex, Rosa was reluctant to consummate her marriage, so she consulted her mother.

"Mama, what if I don't like his body?"

"Do not be so nervous, Rosa, I'm sure everything will be fine."

So Rosa went into her husbands room, and saw that his shirt was off, and also ...

Three guys were sitting in a biker bar.

A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck ...

A man hired a contractor to renovate his kitchen

The contractor said to the man that he was nearly done.

The homeowner said "no way that you are - there is a giant hole in the granite countertop!"

Frustrated with how long the renovation had taken, the homeowner started yelling at the contractor and his assistant, who was standing in ...

The rich lady comes home after a day of shopping,

when she stumbles on one of her many servants in the hallway. She looks at him head to toe, and demands:

\- Come here.

The servant, heads down, obeys.

\- Take off my jacket.

Hands shaking, he obliges.

\- Now... Take off my dress.

Slowly, he does so.

\...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW) A son puts his father in a nursing home.

The first morning he's there, the old man wakes up with a giant erection. The most beautiful nurse he has ever seen walks in and gives him the best blowjob of his life. Afterward, he excitedly calls his son.

"Son, you're not gonna believe this but I woke up with a boner this morning and one o...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There's three kinds of sex in a relationship.

There was exciting sex, necessary sex, and hallway sex.

Exciting sex is when you're first married and you can't wait to get at each other.

Necessary sex is after you've been married for seven or eight years and it's more of a chore than anything else.

Hallway sex is after you'v...

A guy named joe dies and goes to heaven...

A guy named joe dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter is giving Joe a tour of heaven. They walk through a massive hallway filled with clocks.

Joe: what are all these clocks for?

St. Peter: every person living dead has a clock and Everytime they lie it ticks one second.

Joe: Cool! ...

Last week, hubby wanted to spice things up a little, and suggested we play doctors and nurses.....

.... so I strapped him to a trolley, put him in the hallway, and ignored him for 48 hours.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

“Oi, you!”

“Sheep shagger!” yelled the man as Llewelyn Jones walked down the high street, pointedly ignoring him.

“Yeah you, sheep shagger! Fucking sheep shagger!” slurred the man, before throwing his beer can into some petunia bushes and stumbling off in the other direction.

“The youth of today...

I've got a story...

So I'm real good friends with this guy named Juan Ted. Now, Juan is a pretty amazing guy. He can steal ANYTHING he wants to. Literally anything. It could be the shirt off your back, the wallet in your pocket, or I'm even sure he'd find a way to steal your house (And your spouse too). So anyway, one ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Duchess and the Butler.

The Duchess arrived home early having imbibed a little too much wine. When about to enter her bedroom she noticed her butler Jeeves down the hallway.


"Jeeves," she called, "Come here immediately," Yes Ma'am," answered Jeeves.

She sat on the bed and asked Jeeves to sit beside...

[Long] Three men are interviewing for a FBI job...

The instructor sits them in a room togeather and starts out by saying, "men you three are the finest america has to offer. Gun skills, hand to hand combat, not to mention youre IQs are near genius levels. There is only one test left." The instructor walks over to a small hallway with three doors. "W...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The 5 types of sex

Haven't seen this one so apologies if you have.

&#x200B;

In life there are 5 types of sex:


1. Smurf sex: During the initial phase when you both have sex until you're blue
2. Kitchen Sex: Starting around the honeymoon period this is when yu have sex everywhere includ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Break Time's Over

A man dies and goes to hell where he's greeted by Satan.

Oh no, says the man sobbing with his head in his hands.

Satan pats the man on the back and says don't worry, it won't be all bad. As a matter of fact, I'll give you three options to choose from for your eternal damnation. Satan ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There once was a man walking through the woods at night...

Without a flashlight, he proceeds with care, as he tries to follow the path. Through the silent of the night, he hears a faint sentence in the distance.

“When the log rolls over, we’ll all be dead”

Though petrified, his curiosity takes hold and he walks in the direction he heard the so...

One day, a man doing janitorial duties on a submarine asked for a change of scenery

“I just clean the hallways,” he’d say. “Everyday. It gets boring fast, please?”

His manager stared him down, but he saw that the man wouldn’t give up.

“Alright,” the manager sighed. “I suppose I could see about you changing your post.”

The man was overwhelmed with excitement and...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There's 4 stages of 'sex' in every relationship..

First - there's the every where sex. That is when you first started dating and you have sex every where. Bonus points for public places..

&#x200B;

Second - House sex. You have sex every where in the house.. kitchen, bathroom, living room, swimming pool .. basically every where....

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man dies and goes to Hell.

In Hell, a demon welcomes him:

-Hey man, welcome to Hell, we got a pretty easy system here, we have three doors and you have to choose one room to spend eternity.

-Sounds good, says the man.

They approach the three doors on a hallway, the demon half opens one and tell the man ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man dies and ends up in Hell.

A man dies and ends up in hell, Satan shows up and walks him down a hallway, explaining that he would choose his torment from a selection of doors.


The first door opens up onto a vast expanse and millions of people standing on their heads on concrete. This doesn't have much appeal so the...

A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor.

After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the young doctor told her she was pregnant.

She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming and yelling. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was.

After listening to her story, he calmed her down and asked h...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Russian Joke (Obama and Merkel meet in private)

Obama tells Merkel:"Listen, I have three buttons, red, green and yellow. If I press the red button, there is no more China, if I press the yellow button, there is no more Russia, if I press the green button, Europe is gone".

Merkel says... "That may be, however, my grandmother had three toil...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Prostitute goes to a Stutterer’s Convention...

A prostitute goes to a Stutterers convention
And sees three guys standing in the hallway and figures she can use a warm up...

She says fellas..
If any of you can tell me where you are from without stuttering I’ll give you a blowjob...

So the first guy says Cinci Sis isisisiisisi ...

Three guys walk up to the gates of heaven

St Peter is standing there and says to them

"I'm sorry, but we only have room for worst case scenarios today."

The first guy walks up and says; " Well, heres my story - I've known my wife has been cheating on me for months, so yesterday I went home early, and sure enough, I found a man...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An older gentleman goes with his wife to the doctor.

The doctor asks to see the man alone in the hallway.

Once they're alone the doctor says to the man, "There's been a mix-up in your wife's test results. It might take a few days to a week to clear up. What we do know, though, is that she either has AIDS or Alzheimer's."

The man cries ou...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Four women go on a road trip

No real reason, they just need to blow off some steam.

They pick a random highway and start driving. They're having a great time, laughing and joking the whole time. It's starting to get late, and they see a billboard advertising a hotel for women only.

Intrigued, they take the turnoff...

A catholic man dies and goes to Heaven, there he learns that "lie clocks" exist for all humans...

A man is greeted by St. Peter, he quickly notices there are many objects that look like clocks attached to the walls.

St. Peter explains that every time a person tells a lie, the hand on their clocks spins just a little faster.

As he walks through the hallway, he sees mother Teresa's c...

A Baked Bean lover

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

One day, he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never...

Why do so many kids die in school shootings?

They aren’t allowed to run in the hallways.

Weight issues

Kid wakes up in the middle of the night to hear creaking from his parents bedroom. He slowly walks down the hallway to see what’s causing it. Peeks through the crack of the door of his parents room and sees his mom bouncing up and down on top of daddy. Satisfied in knowing where the noise is coming ...

How often did the architect have to put long narrow paths in his blueprints?

Hallways

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Heaven is a big place

Three guys arrive at the pearly gates together having all perished in different circumstances. Seeing the lineup they all wonder what separates them from access into the gates of heaven. As time goes by the line disappears and the three men find themselves next up. Peter is standing with a hand on t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

In a small convent

There was the priests side and the sisters side, and there was only one large bathroom, with several showers.

In order to not disturb the sisters, the priests went all together to take their showers around midnight. On one of those nights, at the bathroom and already naked, one of the priests...

A woman dies and goes to Heaven

There she is found by St Peter and is escorted to where she'll reside for the rest of her days. As they walk through Heaven,they go through a giant hallway full of clocks. "What are these clocks on the wall",she asks St Peter. "Every man and woman on earth has a personal clock and everytime he or sh...

Little Jimmy wakes up at night to get some water.

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and walks to the kitchen. On the way, he passes the bathroom and sees the light is on. Knowing how his father is about the electric bill, he goes to shut it off.

When he opens the bathroom door he sees his mother bent over the bathroom sink, and his dad's ra...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Off to the Crusades! (NSFW)

There was a knight married to a beautiful lady. One day, a crusade is called and the knight is forced to leave his castle and head off to the crusades. Before he goes he arranged for his wife to wear a chastity belt, to ensure that none of his servants sleep with his wife in his absence. Yet this is...

There's a woman named Jean who works in my lab and everyday she comes in stinking of body odor.

I don't really speak to her much and rarely say hello, usually if I pass her in the hallway I just say "Hi Jean"

A 10-year old boy heard some screaming and rustling coming from his parent's room...

Thinking there is something wrong, he rushes in and sees his dad sweating and panting, and his mom turning red with embarrassment.
"What are you doing?" Asked the boy.
"Playing poker." Replied the dad.
"Oh, but what's mom doing here?"
The dad thinks about it, and replies, "she's my wild...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A young boy walks into a Brothel dragging a dead frog on a string behind him...

He approaches the Madam of the Brothel and promptly asks for a girl. The woman looks him over and says "I can't do that for a boy of your age". The boy drops a wad of cash in front of her and repeats his request. The madam ponders, and then tells him "alright, first door on the left". Before the boy...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

New CEO

The board of directors at one company decided to hire new executive staff in order to increase the company's profits. The new CEO was a very tough guy who made it his mission to rid the company of slackers. One time he notices a guy in the hallway leaning against the wall picking his nose. As there ...

Guy walks into a doctor’s office...

“Doc, I’ve made up my mind, thought it over. I want to be castrated!”

Doctor stares at him in disbelief,

“Are you sure? That is no....”

The guy interrupts,

“Doc, I’m 100% sure! Let’s do it today!

Later, after the procedure, the guy walks out of the hospital with a ...

Jack and Joe are in prison...

Jack and Joe are in prison, in separate cells, some distance away from each other. Sad little jail cells really, with only a solitary, tiny window to peek into the outside. So they pass the time as best they can by telling each other jokes.

One day, Jack asks , "Got any new jokes, Joe?"
...

The Monk's Secret

A man's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere one night. He sees a sign that says "Monastery 1 mile" and decides maybe they'll let him stay for a night or two while he figures out where to get the car fixed. He goes inside and the monks feed him dinner and let him stay the night. All night the ma...

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[Long] Johnny comes home from school early...

...and decides to play with his toys in his parents room, as he is never allowed.

However as he begins to play he hears the front door open, and footsteps come down the hallway towards the room. In fear of getting caught Johnny quickly hides in his parents closet.

Peeking through a cra...

Three young friends,

seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered.


Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never bef...

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A short story of Jimmy

Jimmy was walking upstairs in his house when he heard his dad shout, "Shit." "Dad what does shit mean?" asked Jimmy. "It's just another word for shaving cream." Replied his dad.Jimmy kept on his way down the hallway when he heard his sister, "what an ass" she said."Sister what is an ass?" Jimmy ques...

Coma victim...

A man wakes up after being in a coma for 20 years. Immediately he calls his bank to see how his savings have grown with interest over the last two decades and is told he has $144,833,411, 19 in his account.

“Whooo- Hoo! I’m a multi-millionaire!”

He hobbles down the hallway giggling t...

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The Pope was having a shower,

and although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed to exercise the papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions.


Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy semen flying through the air.


"Hol...