Two security guards bumped into each-other while running through the hallway.

It was the collision of the sentry.

What did Trump say to Biden in the hallway of the white house?

Pardon me, please.

What do both teachers in the hallway and killers say?

"Stop running around the place, kid."

Students at a high school in Georgia were suspended for posting photographs of their crowded hallways.

The administration was worried about the wrong thing going viral.

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Hallway sex

You know you've been married for a long time when you've experienced hallway sex. It's like, when you first get married it's sex everywhere. Then, after a few years, things settle down and you migrate to the bedroom. But, after a while, you get hallway sex. It's when you meet each other in the hallw...

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My missus packed my bags and left them in the hallway

As I walked out the door, she screamed...


"I wish you a slow and painful death you bastard!!"


"Oh!" I replied "so you want me to fucking stay now!"

A Red Shirt and a Storm Trooper get in a Fire Fight in a Hallway...

The Storm trooper misses every shot, but the Red shirt still dies.

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My hallway is absolutely full of Valentine cards today...

I really am a lazy bastard of a postman.

A woman bursts out of the examining room, screaming after her doctor tells her she is pregnant

The director of the clinic stops her and asks what the problem is. She tells him what happened and another doctor has her sit down and relax in another room while he marches down the hallway to where the woman’s doctor had informed her of the pregnancy.

“What is wrong with you? Mrs. Miller is...

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A man is shopping at an adult video store when the cashier tells him, "If you're looking for something extra, check out the room in the back..."

Curious, the man heads to the back of the store and finds a long hallway lined with gloryholes. As soon as he walks in, he hears seductive coos and beckoning comments from behind each wall. Peering into some of the holes, he is surprised to see gorgeous women from all around the world waiting on the...

A woman went to the doctor's office and seen by one of the new young doctors.

After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the ...

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A man goes to the doctor and asks to be castrated.

The doctor is very surprised at this. “Are you sure?!”

“Yes,” said the man. “I’ve thought about it, long and hard, and I’ve decided I want to do it.”

“But are you sure you’ve thought this through?!” the doctor continued. “This will have a huge impact on important aspects of your life i...

3 people try to escape a mental institution

They decide to kill the three guards and leave. One guard is in the room with them, another in the hallway, and another guarding the gate. They kill the one in the room, kill the one in the hallway, and then make their way down to the main gate. When they arrive at the main gate, they find out the g...

A blonde, a brunette, and a black-haired girl are walking down their high school hallway

when they come across a genie's lamp. The black-haired girl rubs it, and a genie comes out. He tells them that he'll give each of them three wishes if they say something true about themselves. If not, they'll go "poof", and die.

So the black-haired girl squeals, "I think I'm the prettiest gir...

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A man's wife falls suddenly into a coma and is unresponsive

She is rushed to the hospital where she lies unresponsive for over five days. Her husband, red-eyed and distraught, refuses to sleep or leave her side. He reads to her, talks to her, entreats her, all to no avail.

Finally, in the middle of the sixth night, he reaches out in desperation and g...

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Intern Interviews Three Psychiatric Residents

Psych intern is taken to the first of three patient rooms.

Patient is wearing a baseball cap and swinging an imaginary baseball bat.

I: How long do you think you'll be here?

P: Oh, as soon as I hit this home run, I'm outta here!

I: (Makes notes)

Intern is then tak...

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A couple is golfing on a golf course when their ball flies out of the course and smashes right through the window of an old mansion.

Shocked, the couple hastes to the old mansion and knock on the door.

A mysterious voice from within the mansion calls the couple to enter.

The couple enters the mansion and in the hallway they see an old man standing next to the broken window and a broken chinese vase with their golfba...

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My wife and I now only have what I call “hallway” sex

We pass each other in the hallway,..fuck you!,..fuck you!

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This joke is popular with lebanese people, idk if everyone will find it funny but here we go

Mr. Abed and Mrs. Abed recently moved to a new building on the first floor. They were very happy they moved to a better area, but little did they know there was a man living in the second floor who plays the violin. At night when they went to sleep, the man started playing the violin and it was beau...

The hangover man woke up in the morning with a big headache.

He barely opened his eyes and looked around, straightening up.
A glass of water and two aspirin stands on the nightstand. Her clothes were clean and ironed on the chair at the foot of the bed.
While drinking the aspirin, the note on the bedside table caught his attention;
"My darling, good ...

A snake entered an university

Students noticed the snake in the hallway. It was weird since nobody had seen him before. The security arrived and turns out the snake had entered using a fake ID. On asking whose id it was snake replied:

"hissss...."

I'm sorry if you didn't find it funny.

The Olympics of who has more children.

A battle between an American, a Brit, and a Filipino.

It's a competition of who has the most number of children the story of how the Filipino beat the American and a Brit.


It's the Olympics and a lot of audience gathered in a dome, a massive 80,000-seater oval dome. All seats are...

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What's black and white, red all over, and can't turn around in a hallway?

A nun with a spear through her

(Told this to a nun in highschool during class. She threw a blackboard eraser at me but laughed)

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Two rednecks go to college...

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" the first redneck asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me g...

President Trump bumped into Mike Pence in a White House hallway this morning...

Trump said "Pardon me."

When I was bar tending I would tell people this was the worst joke they’ll ever hear that will still make them laugh. I always just called it. “Grandma”

A boy comes home from school one day skipping football practice cuz he isn’t feeling well.
When he gets home he grabs a snack and sits down to watch some TV.
During the show he hears some noises coming from his parents room.
His parents not being home at that time normally he walks down ...

A mother decides to do something about her noisy children.

A mother is raising several children. The problem is, at least one of them is always being loud and the others want things quiet.

She has two rooms at the end of the hallway of her house; one on the left side and one on the right side. She decides to designate one room for being noisy, and th...

The president is walking down a narrow hallway

Mitch McConnell was walking down the hallway in the same direction but, being half-tortoise, was moving far slower.

Trump pushes past him, shouting, "Get outta my way!"

McConnell says, "Pardon me, Mr. President."

Trump stops and turns around. "I didn't know you worked on my cam...

school hallways

so I overheard this during school today

friend 1: hey I saw a poster for schrödinger's cat the other day

friend 2: neat

friend 1: it was wanted dead and alive

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[NSFW] Two doctors pass each other in a hallway and one asks to borrow the other's pen

So the other says, "Sure, here you go."

The first doctor looks at what he was just handed and says, "This isn't a pen. It's a rectal thermometer."

The other says, "Sorry, some asshole has my pen."

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How to make girls feel safe in the hallways

I often find myself walking behind various girls while I'm going about my day and I'm always concerned I'm making them feel unsafe. So I like to remind myself not to walk like a rapist.

I find this works much better if I don't say it out loud.

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink.

Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table,leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"

The biker look...

How many Jedi does it take to screw in a hallway lightbulb?

None, because once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny.

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A dominatrix walks down the hallway of her brothel...

...into one of the many rooms. Inside, there's a man blindfolded, handcuffed, and chained to the floor. She walks up and slaps him as hard as she can and says, "Who's my little bitch?"

The man screams and yells, "What the fuck are doing?"

The mistress was confused, she'd been prepped f...

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The Knight and the lady (NSFW)

There was a knight married to a beautiful lady. One day, a crusade is called and the knight is forced to leave his castle and head off to the crusades. Before he goes he arranged for his wife to wear a chastity belt, to ensure that none of his servants try anything with her in his absence. Yet this ...

A caterer was sprinting down the hallway with a pan of scrambled eggs. My first instinct repsonse:

"I hope they like their eggs runny"

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A man wakes up in bed after a night of hard boozing...

His first thought is that he's in big trouble with his wife, but she waltzes into the room with a sunshiny grin and hands him a tray loaded with breakfast in bed. While he's eating, she slips under the covers and gives him a deliriously good blowjob.

"I don't get it, honey," the guy says. "I...

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A priest lived in a church with three nuns.

One evening the priest decided that he wanted to take a bath. He went to the washroom, filled the tub with water, and then undressed before he realized that he forgot to bring his soap.

He wraps himself in a towel around his waist and goes back to his room to retrieve his soap, grabbing an ex...

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A man hires the best house painter in town to repaint his house but he's not cheap

The man doesn't care and agrees to the salary anyway, the next day the painter shows up and the man's hot wife opens the door because her husband is out.

She shows him the room where he can start and says that she will check on him every once in a while.

5 minutes later she shows up in...

One morning, at the research lab...

...an assistant accidentally left a cage open while cleaning, and a little bunny rabbit escaped when he wasn't looking. The little bunny rabbit followed the assistant out of the room, down the hallway, and right out the door.

The little bunny rabbit looked around in amazement; he'd been bor...

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An auntie kimber classic. I was 5 when I heard this lol

There was a young man Fredrick in the last course of his psychology major. His final exam was to assess the mental conditions of 3 patients down in the deepest depth of the mental ward. It was 1966.
With his clipboard in hand, he walks down the dim lit hallway and gets to a giant metal door. The ...

Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford pass each other in the hallway (Oldie but a goodie)

Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford pass each other in the hallway. Nixon bumps into Ford's shoulder. Embarrassed, Nixon turns to Ford and says "Pardon me!"

And so he did.

The mathematician awakens, and finds another fire in the hallway.

He looks out the door, then goes back to bed. The house ends up burning down, but the physicist and engineer manages to save the mathematician. When asked why he didn't put out the fire, he says: "I saw the fire, I saw the extinguisher, the solution was trivial."

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A notorious loan shark is driving drunk one night...

As he's speeding down some curvy mountain roads, the shark loses control of the vehicle and crashes head-on into a tree.

When he comes to, the man finds himself lying on a sofa in a fairly modest looking waiting room. Dizzy, he looks around and sees what appears to be a reception desk at the ...

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A man and a wife are in a hotel room on the 3rd, rekindling their love for each other...

It quickly turns into teenage, window fogging, grope fest and they start to fuck like bunnies. After they finish the first round, they notice the room's a little different. The man steps outside and checks around and notices the room across him is 415. "Weird", said the man to himself. "I thought th...

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During her rounds at the retirement home Nurse Wendy sees old Mr. Johnson looking very sad...

While on her rounds Nurse Wendy sees old Mr. Johnson walking sadly down the hall. Being the kindhearted person she is, she asks him what’s got him so sad.

“Well, there’s been a death in my family” he says.

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Was it someone close to you?”

“Yes, it ...

I was wakened at 3am by a crashing noise...

I went down the stairs, cricket bat in hand, only to come face to face with an intruder stepping through my front door. He was armed with a crowbar but a swift crack of the willow round his head dropped him and he was spark out for enough time for me to grab a short length of rope. After hog-tying h...

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

On hat said to the other: you stay here; I'll go on a head.

A 9 year old kid walks down the hallway of his house

and hears something coming from his older sisters room. He peeks through the keyhole and sees his sister naked caressing herself and saying, "Oh, I want a boy, Oh I need a boy."

The boy didn't understand so he kept walking to his room. The next day he looked through the keyhole again and saw...

A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked...

A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked on a gurney in the hallway when a man in a white coat came by, lifted the sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared.


A few minutes later, the same man stopped by again, lifted her sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared.


When...

Trump and his son DT Jr. bump into each other in the hallway.

"Pardon me dad"

What's three feet tall and can't turn around in a hallway?

A toddler with a harpoon in it's throat.

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A man goes to the doctor because he is worried about having 3 testicles,

the doctor tells him that everything is fine, the man calms down and leaves, in the hallway he sees another man and says to him :"Did you know that together the 2 of us have 5 balls?" the other man replies:"What the fuck? You only have one?"

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A child comes home and shouts from the hallway...

A child comes home and shouts from the hallway:

"Mom! Mom!"

A scream comes from the kitchen:

"What are you yelling for?! Come here and say what you want like a normal human being!"

The kid stomps across the apartment and walks up to her:

"Mom, I just stepped into d...

John is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts..

A classic in honor of my cake day!


John is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts,
"Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now".

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have GE written...

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Why was the tampon flying down the school hallway?

He was late for his next period.

A man was driving a sports car

He had just bought it and suddenly he ran out of gas. So he walked to the nearest house and asked the owner if he could have some gas. The owner said yes and after he had the tank full he said ‘it’s getting late I have an extra room if you want to spend the night’. The man was uneasy but accepted be...

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A man is driving along a dusty old back road when he sees a sign that says, "Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution."

A man is driving along a dusty old back road when he sees a sign that says, "Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution."

Barely believing his eyes, he turns into an old truck stop - and sure enough - there's a big neon sign that says "Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution."

He knocks and...

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Nurse walking down a hallway reaches into her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer...

She says, "Great, some asshole's got my pen."

I was drinking at a dive bar, met a really attractive 47 yr old woman.

She looked great for her age. We ordered another drink and she asked me if I’ve ever had a “Sportsman Double?”

I scratched my head and asked “What’s that?”

She replied “It’s a mother daughter threesome.”

I told her “No” with a smirk and we had 3 to 4 more rounds. The conversatio...

If you're French when you're outside and Dutch in the hallway, what are you when you're in the bathroom? [X-Post r/dadjokes]

European.

My dad said this one earlier today.

Boss: Take this broom and go sweep the hallways!

Employee: But I'm a college graduate!
Boss: Great! Then I should only have to explain this just once.

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There are 3 phases of sex in a marriage.

1. First 5 years - House sex (Anytime / Anywhere)
2. 5 to 15 years - Bedroom sex (only in the bedroom)
3. 15 years plus - Hallway sex (You walk past your partner in the hallway and say ‘Fuck you’)

Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school...

... When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and ...

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An old man was living at a nursing home. One day a nurse noticed he was sad and depressed.

She asked “ Is there anything wrong?”

“ Yes nurse” the old man said. “My private part died today and I am very sad.”

Knowing that her patients were sometimes a little senile she said “oh, I’m very sorry, please accept my condolences”

The next day the old man was walking down the...

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A nurse is walking down the hallway...

A doctor notices something odd.

Doc says, "why do you have a thermometer in your ear?"

The nurse grabs the thermometer and sighs, "shit, some asshole has my pen!"


This was one of my dad's favorites.

I told you I was broke

A little lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning" said the young man. "If I can take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high power vacuum cleaner"

"G...

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Hanging in the hallway at a high school are...

...the basketball team pictures from the past decades. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "92-93," "93-94," "94-95," etc.

One day the principal spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos.

Turning to the principal, ...

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A young man walks out of a bar with a girl he just pulled.

"Let's go back to your joint..." he says, "my house mates are home and we'll get no peace there."

Reluctantly the girl agrees. They walk back to her house and quietly enter through the front door.

"Take a seat" says the girl, pointing to the sofa, "I'm just going to get changed out of...

Why do so many children die in school shootings ?

Because they are not allowed to run in the hallway.


Credits: Jimmy Carr

At a convent, all nuns assemble for the morning sermon

The mother superior speaks up: "Last night, a man has been on our lands."

All nuns: "Ooooh!", except one nun: "Hehehe!"

MS: "The man entered one sister's chamber!"

All nuns: "Ooooh!", except one nun: "Hehehe!"

MS: "The man stayed in the chamber for one hour!"

All n...

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered.

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passageway, one that is made at...

A dad is lost in the Dad Joke Hall of Fame...

He's looking around when he comes upon a hallway full of people. At the other end of the hallway he sees a boxer just knocking people out one at a time. So, he quickly pushes past all of the people and asks the boxer,

"Excuse me sir, is this the punchline?"

A man decided to role play doctor with his wife

He spent three hours in the hallway before she let him into the room.

A Guy Walks into a Doctor’s Office...

“Doc, I’ve made up my mind, I’ve thought it over. I want to be castrated!”

Doctor stares at him in disbelief,

“Are you sure? That is no....”

The guy interrupts,

“Doc, I’m 100% sure! Let’s do it today!

Later, after the procedure, the guy walks out of the hospital wi...

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician

An engineer wakes up in the middle of the night and sees that there is a fire in the hallway. He fills a trash can with water and throws it on the fire.

A physicist wakes up in the middle of the night and sees that there is a fire in the hallway. He fills a trash can with the exact amount of ...

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I told my husband that I would be home by midnight.

"I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.

Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckoo'ed three times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probabl...

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[Nsfw] [long] An aging father has decided to go into assisted living

Because he didn't want to burden his son. He had been having trouble around the house and had a few scary falls. His son begged him to stay at his family's house, because he felt that this was the best plan.
"Dad, please! Stay with us! I've heard those places are horrible!" His father says "No wa...

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Pope taking a shower!

The Pope was having a shower and although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed to exercise the papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy semen flying through the air...

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A good bar joke that always makes women laugh

Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he as feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was couple of ...

A mans wife warns him if he comes home drunk after a night out again she'll kick him out.

He goes out with his mates to the pub with a promise to his wife he shall be home by midnight and will not get drunk. He gets to the bar, several hours and many drinks later, the man is in a terrible state.

He has thrown up over himself, fallen over and generally ended up blind drunk. His mat...

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A man wakes up after a night out with the boys with a horrible hangover

He realizes that he's home, in his bed. With growing shock he realizes that he's wearing pajamas. He notices a glass of water on his night stand, a couple of aspirins, and a note.

The note reads, "Darling, I'm off to the store. Breakfast is on the table. eternally yours, your loving wife". <...

Peter is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye

It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought..

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 ...

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Italian Honeymoon

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.


Giovanni said, “Hey Luigi, how was-a da treep?”

Luigi said, “Everyting was-a perfecto except-a for da train-a ride down.”

...

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Horny hobo goes to a sex hotel

So an old poor man, David, walked in to a sex hotel and asked the receptionist what action he could get for 5 dollars to which the receptionist replied ''Go to room 54''.
The man went up the stairs and at the end of the hallway was room 54, he walked in and saw a really old lady. He thought to...

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Jeff was running late for a union meeting, and really needed to take a dump.

Finding the men's room clogged, he went up a floor in the auditorium, to find another bathroom. When he got up the stairs, he found a long hallway, leading to a door.

He opened the door, and found himself in a dimly lit attic.

His stomach gurgled, just as he spotted some light comin...

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A young man gets a flat tire and must find a place to stay for the night...

He knocks on the door of a nearby house and an old man greets him. The old man hears out the young mans predicament, and allows him to stay for a night. Later the young man hears strange noises coming from a red door on the other side of his room but goes to sleep anyway. Asking the old man the ne...

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A guy goes to a brothel.

A guy wants to go to a brothel. He arrives at the door and asks the guard :

"I want to check the services that this brothel offers"

"Sure man, the office is on the first door on the right"

The guard opens the door and guides him to the office.

The man behind the counter...

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A psychiatrist and a man are touring a mental hospital to see if it would be a good fit for his brother.

They are walking down a hallway when they pass a door the man looks in. Inside there is this young man who his holding his hands up to his stomach, raising his leg and then lunges forwards in a pitching motion. "Oh! Hey! I'm practicing my pitch, I'm going to be a famous pitcher for the Los Angeles D...

A monk, 3 nuns and liquid soap (long)

So 2 monks were going to have a shower and as they got in, they realised that they didn't have any soap so one of them went up to his room as he had some there. As he was leaving, he saw 3 nuns in the hallway so posed as a statue to wait for them to go past.

When they reached him, the first n...

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3 Stages Of Sex in Marriage

Stage 1 - Honeymoon Sex - you have just gotten married and you two have sex constantly.

Stage 2 - Birthday Sex - you have been married a while and now only have sex on Holidays and Special Occasions.

Stage 3 - Hallway Sex - after a long time being married when you two pass each other...

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A man dies and ends up in Hell.

A man dies and ends up in hell, Satan shows up and walks him down a hallway, explaining that he would choose his torment from a selection of doors.


The first door opens up onto a vast expanse and millions of people standing on their heads on concrete. This doesn't have much appeal so the...

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The Queen of England take a diplomatic trip to the United States....

While there, she visits one of New York's best hospitals. As she is being shown around the hospital by a doctor, she comes across a man furiously masturbating in the hallway. The queen turns beet red and exclaims, "Doctor! Do you see what that man is doing?" The doctor looks then very nonchalantly s...

Have you heard about the cult of teenage girls who worship the German physicist Georg Simon Ohm?

In schools everywhere, you can hear them praying in the hallways: "Ohm, my God!"

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I rolled over and saw a girl laying in bed next to me.

"How the fuck did you get in here?" I asked.

She said, "You don't remember last night, do you?"

"I do," I replied, "But my hallway is narrow."

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His Native American girlfriend was really shy...

...so, when she came to visit him at college, he hid her away in a hotel pretty far away from his school. He knew how crude his schoolmates could be and it wouldn't do for her to be exposed to such filth as these cretins would be likely to subject her to.

The whole week that she visited, she ...

A guys dies and goes to heaven...

St. Peter is giving the guy a tour. They walk down a huge hallway filled with clocks.
"What are all these clocks for" the guy asked.
"Every person who has ever lived has a clock and every time they lie it ticks 1 second" St peter says
"So where is george washingtons clocks at the guy asked...

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Little Timmy is in bed and hears a noise

Its the week before Xmas, he gets out of bed and walks down the hallway to his parents room. He opens the door and he see's his Dad taking his Mom doggystyle. Dad notices Timmy, looks down, winks and says;

"Back to bed lad, theres a good boy"

And off Timmy goes...

A few days lat...

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Going to Hell [Long]

The evil man arrived in Hell and was immediately greeted by his Eternal Assignment Demon. They walked down a dank hallway until they came upon a door. “This is your first option of three for you to serve your eternal damnation. Behold.” The EAD slides the hatch on the door and the evil man (let’s ca...

The rich lady comes home after a day of shopping,

when she stumbles on one of her many servants in the hallway. She looks at him head to toe, and demands:

\- Come here.

The servant, heads down, obeys.

\- Take off my jacket.

Hands shaking, he obliges.

\- Now... Take off my dress.

Slowly, he does so.

\...

An old man was on his deathbed at home.

Suddenly, the aroma of his favorite cookies baking in the oven wafted up to him. My wife, still a doll! With all his might he pulled himself out of bed and walked shakily down the stairs. Wavering down the hallway and into the kitchen, he sees the first batch cooling on the counter.

He slowly...

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A boy is at school, and they start the day by telling riddles

The boy says: it goes in, it goes out! The teacher becomes red and angry. Get out! The teacher said. So the boy goes onto the hallway. There he meets the principle, who asks him what he is doing there. I got send out of class, because I asked: it goes in, it goes out! The principal get angry, and sa...

A man named Tucker, dies and goes to hell

There, a demon takes Tucker to a hallway with three doors. The demon says (in a deep demonic voice) “You must choose one room, where you will spend the next thousand years!”

The demon opens the first door. Inside there is a man in a pit of fire, screaming in agony. Tucker says “Nooo no no! De...

A man spends the entire night getting hammered at his local pub.

After last call, the man stands up from his stool but falls flat on his face trying to walk. He pulls himself up in the doorway of the bar, attempts to stand, but falls flat on his face to the sidewalk. He drags himself to his car and drives home. He tries to unlock his front door, finally gets it u...

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An older gentleman goes with his wife to the doctor.

The doctor asks to see the man alone in the hallway.

Once they're alone the doctor says to the man, "There's been a mix-up in your wife's test results. It might take a few days to a week to clear up. What we do know, though, is that she either has AIDS or Alzheimer's."

The man cries ou...

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A man goes to hell and the devil greets him.

He takes him to a hallway which has three different doors and tells the man he'll have to choose one room to spend the rest of eternity in.
So he takes him to the first door and he opens it and sees everyone standing on their heads on wooden floors. The man thought that would be pretty terrible t...

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Six Letters of the Alphabet

Billy was a boy in kindergarten. At the end of the school day, the teacher gave the class a simple task.

“Ok class, I want you to go home tonight and learn the first six letters of the alphabet.”

So Billy left school determined to learn what the teacher had asked. When he got home, he ...

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Man’s wife is on life support and the only way to bring her back to normal is oral sex.

A man’s standing by his wife on life support as the doctor walks into the room.

“Sir, the only way you can get your wife back to normal is oral sex”

“Are you sure about that? That seems odd doesn’t it?”

“I’m afraid we looked at all the options and it’s the only way”

“For...

[Long] Three men are interviewing for a FBI job...

The instructor sits them in a room togeather and starts out by saying, "men you three are the finest america has to offer. Gun skills, hand to hand combat, not to mention youre IQs are near genius levels. There is only one test left." The instructor walks over to a small hallway with three doors. "W...

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Group of middle school students visit the Vatican

The teacher guides them through the hallways and tells them about the paintings.

Teacher: "This famous painting made Michelangelo represents the God creating Adam. Can someone tell us what they see here?"

Susan decides to speak:

"Nice muscles", she says

Teacher is furiou...

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A lawyer dies and goes to hell...

The devil pulls up his file on his computer and sighs “You’ve been a naughty boy haven’t you? Extortion, gambling, sex with prostitutes and even murder!”

The lawyer hangs his head in shame and the devil pats him lightly on the shoulder.

“I’m a fair guy, what I’m going to do is let you...

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[NSFW) A son puts his father in a nursing home.

The first morning he's there, the old man wakes up with a giant erection. The most beautiful nurse he has ever seen walks in and gives him the best blowjob of his life. Afterward, he excitedly calls his son.

"Son, you're not gonna believe this but I woke up with a boner this morning and one o...

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