UPJOKE
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George Carlin once famously joked, "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

Thanks to all those people wearing masks but leaving their noses fully exposed, the stupider half is now a lot easier to spot.

Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

But doing the same thing over and over again and actually getting a different result - that's called Computer Programming.

Albert Einstein once famously said...

"Every great quote will eventually be misattributed to Albert Einstein"

Julius Caesar famously had a quick nap before crossing the Rubicon

the rest is history

Thoreau famously said "Simplify, simplify."

It would have been simpler to say it once.

Elton John famously detests ice burg lettuce

He's more of a Rocket Man

African Grey Parrots are famously intelligent, but studies have shown that they consistently lose chess matches against ravens, jackdaws, and other corvids.

Said one researcher, "They just have trouble weighing the crows and pawns."

In Marrakesh, the food is famously tangy, but there is another Moroccan city where...

It is Tangier.

A horse walks into a bar; the bartender asks, "Hello, do you want a beer?" The horse responds, "I think not," and promptly disappears.

Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." The horse thought not, and therefore wasn't...

But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before...

Bob Ross famously said that "we don't make mistakes, just happy accidents"...

Clearly he never played Tetris.

Abebe Bikila famously won the 1960 Olympic marathon while running barefoot.

Do you think his opponents tasted defeet?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) Milton Berle had a famously large penis. Another comedian (who also considered himself well-hung) kept pestering Berle to have a contest comparing their tools.

Berle said, "Fine, but I'm only going to take out enough to win."

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