UPJOKE
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My wife often tries to provoke me by insinuating that I’m not masculine enough, or not a real man.

However, cute kittens don’t lose sleep over the opinions of lizards.

A trucker walks into a truck stop to get dinner one night.

Well, as he's sitting there, enjoying his meal, three biker dudes roar up and storm inside.

The first dude spits in the trucker's milk. The second one grabs the trucker's dinner and stuffs it in his face. And the third one yells "You wanna piece of this? Huh? HUH?" and shadowboxes,

S...

What do you call a meme that provokes intense happiness

Dope-a-meme

Which breakfast cereal provokes a woman's wrath?

Scorn Pops

What happens when you provoke an angry redhead?

Ginger snaps.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes.

I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.

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.

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I'll see myself out.

There are visitors among us

They look like humans, and come in every shade and build that humans normally appear in.

We don't know whether they mean us harm or not.
It's good to be wary, but it's important not to provoke them, as their nature is unknown.

It may be frightening to think about, but there are subt...

What do you call a fight started by an intergovernmental organisation?

A UN-provoked attack.

Science jokes

Man: Help!

Officer: What is the problem?

Man: He's throwing sodium chloride at me!

Officer: Why does that provoke a shout for help?

Man: Because it's a salt!!!!

Helium walks into a bar.

Or, rather than walks, floats; for helium, at room temperature, is a gas, and thus has no legs with which to walk, and, due to its lighter-than-air nature, does not sink to the ground. The bartender himself is confused, for not only is helium invisible to the naked eye in the absence of another obje...

As soon as they had finished making love, Susie jumped up from the bed and started packing her suitcase

"What on earth are you doing?" asked her puzzled husband.

"In Las Vegas I could get two hundred dollars for what I just gave you for free," she pointed out, "so I'm moving to Las Vegas."

This was enough to provoke her husband to jump up and begin packing *his* bags.

"What are yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Science professor

It is the new school year, and the science class sits down. The professor walks in with a dead body on a stretcher. The whole class screams and cringes at the sight of the body.

The professor says, "Calm down class. Now, in this class you will be doing many things that may provoke feelings of...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke made in Spain about the church, and as such, full of profanity and blasphemy. Enjoy

So a catholic priest is waiting in the confessional, and suddenly a man with the body of a mountain who rides comes in:

-Forgive me, father, for I've sinned.

+Tell me your sins, my son.

-Well, father, it all started on Monday, when I was fixing the kitchen sink and I got up too ...

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