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Why shouldn’t you provoke asexual people ?

Because Nobody f*cks with them

My wife often tries to provoke me by insinuating that I’m not masculine enough, or not a real man.

However, cute kittens don’t lose sleep over the opinions of lizards.

What do you call a meme that provokes intense happiness


What happens when you provoke an angry redhead?

Ginger snaps.

A trucker walks into a truck stop to get dinner one night.

Well, as he's sitting there, enjoying his meal, three biker dudes roar up and storm inside.

The first dude spits in the trucker's milk. The second one grabs the trucker's dinner and stuffs it in his face. And the third one yells "You wanna piece of this? Huh? HUH?" and shadowboxes,


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I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes.

I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.





I'll see myself out.

What do you call a fight started by an intergovernmental organisation?

A UN-provoked attack.

Science jokes

Man: Help!

Officer: What is the problem?

Man: He's throwing sodium chloride at me!

Officer: Why does that provoke a shout for help?

Man: Because it's a salt!!!!

Helium walks into a bar.

Or, rather than walks, floats; for helium, at room temperature, is a gas, and thus has no legs with which to walk, and, due to its lighter-than-air nature, does not sink to the ground. The bartender himself is confused, for not only is helium invisible to the naked eye in the absence of another obje...

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