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Chocolates Jokes

PETA is like a box of chocolates

They kill dogs

Life is like a box of chocolates

**It doesn't last long for fat people**

Maybe Jesus didn't like your chocolate?

So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice. There's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance.

The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?"

The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!"

The Pope excla...

Aliens visit Earth. They come in peace and surprisingly , they speak English.

Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the Pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?"

"You mean JC?", responds the alien. "Yeah, we know him! He's th...

Once a DOCTOR and an ENGINEER entered a chocolate store

Once a DOCTOR and an ENGINEER entered a chocolate store...

As they were busy looking around,
doctor stole 3 chocolate bars...

As they left the store, doctor said to Engineer :
"Man! I'm the best thief ever,
I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me. You can't beat that"

En...

A little boy was walking on the road eating a chocolate.

A man came over and said, "Son, eating chocolates is bad for your health."

The boy replied, "Do you know, my Grandpa lived to be 105 years old."

"By eating chocolates?" The man asked.

"No, by minding his own business." He replied.

Archeaologists in Egypt have found a mummy in a tomb in the pyramids made of chocolates and hazelnuts

His name: Pharaoh rocher

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life is NOT like a box of chocolates.

its more like a jar of jalapenos: what you do today can burn your ass tomorrow.

A good analogy is like a box of chocolates-

you never know when you’re going to get a mixed metaphor.

life is like a box of chocolates....

it is destroyed remarkably fast by an emotional woman.

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size

... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

Long live the chocolates

A boy was in a train eating chocolates. Then he took another one. The man next to him said ,

"Do u know this will damage your teeth?"

The boy replied ,"My grandfather lived 135 years."

The man asked,"Was it because of eating chocolates?

The boy said,"No he was always mi...

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Scottish blood

An Arab Sheik was admitted to the hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose. As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally, the call went out around the world.

...

My wife complained to me that our neighbor brings HIS wife flowers and chocolates but I don't do anything like that....

So now I bring my neighbors flowers and chocolates

Tragic news from the Nestle factory today as a worker was crushed to death under hundreds of boxes of chocolates.

He tried in vain to get help but every time he shouted, "The milky bars are on me!!" --his fellow workmates just cheered

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NSFW Love is like a box of chocolates

Some bastard is going to grab all the good ones and the rest of us will be forced to eat the gingers.

Like a box of chocolates...

What's Forrest Gump's online password?



1forrest1

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What do a prostitute and a box of chocolates have in common?

They're both full of assorted creams

Life is like a box of chocolates

Half way through you realaize how much you hate yourself.

My girlfriend is like a box of chocolates.

I want to take her top off.

Why did kids get more easter egg chocolates than usual this year?

It was due to the rabbit eggonomic growth.

Women in Thailand are like a box of chocolates

You never know which one has nuts.

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Life is like a box of chocolates...

It's expensive, you don't like half of it, and sometimes you can give the whole thing to a woman and she still wont have sex with you.

I bought a great deal of chocolates for my girlfriens

You might be thinking "it's spelled as girlfriend you moron."

You're right it's probably because i don't have one of those

Happy singles' awareness day!

How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates?

It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content.

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