What does speedy gonzalas put beneath his carpets?

Underlay! Underlay!

This bloke knocked on my door and said, "Can I come into your house and talk about vacuuming your carpets?"

I am sure he was a Jehoovers Witness.

I wanted to produce my own carpets

But I'm not rugged enough

The magic carpet

Three girlfriends (a blonde, a brunette and a redhead) go to a carpet store that was advertising magic carpets for sale.

They enter the store and the salesperson greets then and informs them that only one magic carpet remain, all the flying ones were sold and the one remaining was a truth te...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The carpet

An attractive, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian carpets. She looks around, spots a beautiful carpet, and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the carpet she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has ...

Why do women think men are like carpets ?

If they lay them right the first time, they can walk on them for years.

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

The bears who died and turned into skin carpets were probably surprised when it happened.

Their jaws dropped on the floor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:

**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**



And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...

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