Mum has always said the linen looks much tidier if towels are folded in half before being curled up..

..I guess that's just how she rolls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Official outdoor temperature scale

Official outdoor temperature scale:

+10 Residents of Vilnius apartments wear sweaters and put on wool socks. The Finns plant flowers.

+5 Finns sunbathe in the sun.

+2 Italian cars don’t start.

0 Distilled water freezes.

-1 Breathing becomes visible. It's time ...

What's the best way to search a linen store?

Undercover.

My girlfriend woke me up with coffee in bed this morning.

Now I can’t see out of one eye, I have lesions on my face and neck, and we’ve gotta buy new bed linen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A US senator died and went to heaven.

When he gets to heaven Saint Peter is waiting for him at the pearly gates.
Peter says: "Oh a Senator huh? Well we have a special deal for you! Since you spent your life trying to reach across the aisle to both parties we give you 24 hours in both heaven and hell and at the end of 48 hours you g...

Penguin at the bar

A guy walks into a pub. He orders a pint at the bar and looks around the place. Suddenly, he noticed a penguin in a corner, reading a newspaper. The penguin then downs a pint next to him and leaves. The guy's so shocked he couldn't do anything. He runs to the bartender and goes:-What the hell was th...

Roses are red, sometimes they're white

Just like my linens
This is a Tide commercial

My wife complains I use too much toilet paper and I should only use three sheets.

Now she complains that the bed linen stinks.

A young married couple are out golfing together...

The man heads up to the first tee box with his driver and takes the biggest, hardest swing he can muster. As you'd expect from an amateur golfer, the ball slices hard right and off the fairway, breaking a window in a nearby house. Slightly embarrassed, the man says to his wife, "Well I feel bad. We'...

An old man lay dying under the ceiling fan. . .

An old man lay dying under the ceiling fan, which had the bearing of a military helicopter airily surveying the aftermath of a natural disaster.

Surrounded by his son, his twin daughters and a haggard-looking nurse who looked about ready to end it all if only she could find the bloody switch,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was in hospital for a series of tests.

The last of which left his digestive system slightly worse for wear. upon making several false alarm trips to the loo, he figured that he might as well stay put. Suddenly, however, he shat in his bed and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Italian Grandfather's Trip to Italy

Let me tell you a story about my Italian grandfather and a trip he took to visit his hometown in Malta. It's easier to understand if you remember he has a thick Italian accent, which I'll try to type phonetically.

"So one-a day I'm-a decide I go back to visit my hometown-a Malta. I get on de ...

A Mexican immigrant was asked what he does for a living.

"I am a professional boxer."
"A professional boxer?"
"Yes, yes. Everyone in my family is a professional boxer.
We box onions, linens, tomatoes..."

Giving credit where credit's due: This joke was taken from a bit done by Gabriel Iglesias on his show "Stand-Up Revol...

What’s a Communists favorite fabric?

Linen.

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

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