UPJOKE
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How are men like a linoleum kitchen floor? If you are able to lay them correctly the first time,

Then You Are Able To Walk All Over Them For The Next Twenty Five Years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once live a man named Keith.

Keith’s mother had instilled in him the wisdom of an old adage: “Obsessions are only a problem if you have fewer than two.” To that end, Keith made sure that he always had at least two obsessions on the go. And as the years passed, and Keith married and settled down, two particular passions endured...

What do you get when you hand a Frenchman a live grenade and then shove him into a kitchen?

Linoleum Blownaparte

A joke told to me by an ex-girlfriend

Why are men like linoleum floors?

Lay one right the first time and you can walk all over it the rest of your life.

Why did the french man put a bomb on his kitchen floor?

Because he wanted to see Linoleum Blownapart.

Two guys are stuck in prison.

Desperate to get back out and perhaps lead semi-regular lives, the two cellmates try to brainstorm for an escape plan. A mere hour and a half later, one of the men comes up with a plan: steal some children's craft scissors, smuggle them back to the cell, cut through the floor, and cut out a tunnel b...

What two things do you get when you throw a firecracker into a french kitchen?

Linoleum Blownapart and debrie every where.

Did you hear about the French chef that blew up the kitchen?

They’re calling him Linoleum Blownapart

Next time someone complains about millennials

Remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hard-wood floors.

Do you know that french general who likes to fire his cannon at kitchens?

His name is Linoleum Blownapart.

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