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Rugs Jokes

Why is it harder for older dwarves to make rugs?

Carpet tunnel syndrome

I used to sell rugs, but I had to stop selling the semi-circle ones.

I was tired of being called a D rug dealer.

Why do mathematicians dislike cloth rugs?

They prefer fur mats.

My friend started a business in Afghanistan selling land mines that look like prayer rugs..

He says prophets are going through the roof.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Persian Rug

An attractive, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mom died and left me that thing she used to weave rugs out of that stuff you pull out of used styling brushes.

It was a family hair-loom.

Double D’s can make all the difference.

Lace rugs are a lot different than laced drugs.

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.

Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs.

A man comes to a carpet store and says:

“I need a rug.”

“Why so gloomy, pal? Are you going to wrap a body in it, eh?”

“I need two rugs.”

Just got fired from da carpet factory.

I can't understand it. I kept telling dem how much I love working on da rugs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American man, a French man, a Turkish man, and a Polish man are sitting in a bar.

The Bartender asked what the four men are most proud of for their country. The American man says: “I’m really proud of the CIA. They know the details of almost every major event in the U.S,. They often even know it before it happens!”
The French man says: “I’m proud of French women. They are very...

The King of the magical land Wakanda invited the President of the United States and the Queen of Britain to visit.

When they arrived, the Royal Guide of Wakanda brought them to the Palace.
"I should warn you, the beauty and luxury you will see is unparalleled." he said.
They both snorted haughtily. Surely this third-world country couldn't compete with their own riches.

But when they entered, they we...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man joins a monastery...

A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away, bringing him warm mats and rugs to pray and lie on. Seven more year...

An older Russian joke, feel free to swap the leaders' names

Leonid Brezhnev is visiting Jimmy Carter in Washington DC.
Upon arriving in the oval office he is surprised by the luxury and asks:
"The Soviet people would love to know how can your government afford such niceties in the middle on an oil crisis."
Carter responds with "Walk to the win...

Ways To Get Rid Of Telemarketers

An old one, but a good one…

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for Bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “Why do you want to know?” Or you can say, “I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care...

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