Loom Jokes

By using double coupons and shopping wisely.

Ummm, "150 points?"

Like my neighbour. She refused when I offered to bath together to save water.

You might say it’s a “family air loom.”

(I hope this isn't technically a Rule 6 violation)

Mazda is suffering in car sales, and so begins some new lines of products and tag lines.

They get into gardening, bloom bloom,

The military, boom boom,

Condoms, coom coom,

Textiles, loom loom,

Psychedelics,... read more

Suddenly, on the horizon, there loomed a ship with a skull and crossbones raised on the mast.

The crew was frantic, seeking refuge and asking the captain what to do.

Brave Captain Smith looked at the approaching ship for a moment and said: “Bring me my red shirt”.

The call was t... read more

Hair loom.

I think hispanic buying.

The congregation at a die hard church was in full swing when with a stench of brimstone and puff of smoke the devil appeared! All them members ran from the church except one little old man in the first row who sat looking calmly at him.
The devil loomed over the old man and growled " Do you real... read more

It's a family hair loom.

one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it , but couldn't. The aged cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow. She stayed in the car making phone call... read more

It Looms.

A bear suddenly came out from the bushes. It started chasing the man. The man turned around and saw the bear chasing him, and he began to run. As they ran, the bear started getting closer and closer to him. It licked its lips as it saw its prey getting closer. All of a sudden, the man tripped and th... read more

There's usually a looming problem.

With 2nd lockdown looming in the UK, I saw a man with 4 cases of San Miguel, 5 paellas and 7 sombreros, I think Hispanic buying

I saw a young couple weaving all over the street. I told them 'Go get a loom'

When they started, the painters decided to paint the body of the church before painting the steeple. With the church completed and the steeple well along, paint was getting low and a thunderstorm loomed. To finish properly, they would need to climb down to the ground to get more paint. Alterna... read more

A man who was atheist was walking in the woods when he heard a growl and the loud sound of branches snapping behind him. He turned around to see what was making the noise and he saw a large grizzly bear standing on his rear paws poised to attack. The man imediately turned around and started running ... read more

Unfortunately they had to rush off to meet a looming deadline.

and when as he rounds a corner, he sees a huge bear. He turns and runs, and the bear starts to chase him. All of a sudden, he trips and falls. The man turns over to see the bear looming over him, and he screams, "Oh God!"

Time freezes. The heavens open up, and he hears the voice of God.
<... read more

He couldn't decide if he was white with black stripes, or he was black with white stripes. For many months this bothered him, sometimes even keeping him up all night wondering.

On morning, he decided to see the wise old monkey in the baobab tree to find answers to his quandary. Far and long h... read more

A shepherd is relaxing after a long day, when a businessman comes by.

He's sat on the grass, chewing on a straw, watching his sheep roam around under the last rays of the setting sun. A jeep leaving behind clouds of dust stops before him, and off gets a businessman clad in an expensive suit a... read more