A man is walking home alone late one foggy night when behind him he hears: Bump! BUMP! BUMP! Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him!!
BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
FASTER! FASTER! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket...
I asked my masseuse if it was normal to get an erection during my massage
He said it was perfectly normal. I said, “Ok, but could you at least stop bumping it into me?”
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Bumping into People
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgi...
A farmer sold an old horse, but warned the buyer she didn't look too good.
The buyer insisted she looked well enough and bought her. A few days later, the buyer came back, complaining the horse kept bumping into things.
"The old mare's completely blind!" he shouted.
"Well, I told you she didn't look too good," the farmer replied.
Why were cosmonauts on the Russian space station always bumping into things?
Because objects in Mir are closer than they appear.
I'm positive I lost an electron bumping into that anode.
Isn't that ionic?
Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?
So she can be pardoned.
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