A farmer is trying to grow hydroponic potatoes, but he starts them in test tubes. This results in the potatoes being long with a round bulge at the top, so they look like male genitals.

The farmer tries to sell them to anyone and eventually even posts them online, where he surprisingly starts getting more orders than he can fill; and all from Russia. He’s surprised but grows another batch and they sell out again. He starts worrying there might be something illegal going on so he go...

Two guys are chatting at the gym, and the first guy says to the second "what's that bulge in your pants?"

The second guy replies: "Tennis ball."

The first guy thinks about it for a second and says, "ouch. I had tennis elbow once."

What do you call a nocturnal bird that preys on bulges?

an OwOwl

This girl said she could see a bulge in my swim shorts and I was flattered.

I looked down at my crotch and she said, "The other side."

My friend, who noticed a bulge in my pocket says "What's that"?

I said "Golf ball". He says "Oh man, that must hurt! I had tennis elbow once."

I was asked to leave the local swimming pool today as the large bulge in my Speedos was upsetting some of the other swimmers.

I pointed out another guy in similar trunks and asked why he was not being asked to leave.

“Because he hasn’t shat himself,” was the reply.

I was laying a carpet on my son's bedroom.

So, finally I made it. A carpet on the floor of my son's bedroom.

After an inspection I found a bulge in the carpet, so I tried to kick it flat. After a few stomps finally the bulge has been flattened. All is fine now.

"Daddy, have you seen my hamster?"

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts.

“What’s that?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

“Tennis ball,” came the breathless reply.

“Oh,” said t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is out playing golf one day. He finds some golf balls that have been lost by other golfers and they look like they are of a high quality so he puts them in his pocket and plays on.

Back at the club house he goes to the bar to get a drink when a stunning, large breasted young blonde lady comes and stands next to him. They get to some polite conversation and the guy is acting cool. The blonde looks down and notices a bulge in trousers and begins to blush in embarrassment as she ...

A man is struggling to pick up women at the Beach

[short] He consults his friend, who tells him, “Dude, women are into the bulge! Put a potato in your bathing suit, and the ladies will be flocking to you!”

After trying it out a few days later, he finds his friend on the beach, and angrily asks, “What the hell am I doing wrong? The ladie...

A man found a tennis ball while out jogging and put it in his pocket to give his dog back home...

As he stopped to wait at the traffic lights, a woman next to him couldn't help but notice the large bulge in his trouser pocket.

"Tennis ball" the man said.

"Oh, that must be painful,” she replied. “I had tennis elbow once!"

I was having a prostate exam...

Me:*squirms

Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an erection at a time like this.

So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Richard's new job

Richard just got a new job on a small shipping vessel. He shows up for his first day and the first mate puts him to work loading crates onto the ship. He finishes a few hours later and they get underway. Richard is put to work and is kept busy all day. After dinner, he approaches the first mate and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Brad was successful and mostly healthy, but he had one problem...

his eyes bulged out of their sockets.

It had started in his teens, and while it didn't cause him physical pain, he had to put up with constant teasing about looking like an insect. It didn't help his dating life either; most girls liked him as a person but found his appearance too strange to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was walking through the park..

As he is walking down the trail, he notices a tennis ball in the grass. He looks around, doesn't see anybody it might belong to, so he picks it up and puts it in his pocket to take home, thinking the neighbor's dog might enjoy it. After leaving the park to walk home, he comes to a crosswalk. While w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boris and Vasily Go To The Beach

Two Ukraine men go to beach to see hot chicks. They take off clothes put on Speedo then go to sand. As they stand, many hot chicks look at and talk sexy to Vasily. Not so for Boris. When walk on sand, hot chicks look at Vasily. Not look Boris.

Finally Boris say, "All hot chicks be liking you,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a massage parlor looking for a happy ending...

A man goes to a massage parlor looking for a happy ending.

He goes inside and meets with his massage therapist, a middle-aged Asian woman who is not wholly unattractive. She takes him into the room, lights a few candles and leaves the room so he can undress. He does so and lies down on the ta...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old man goes to the doctor...

An older gentleman goes to the doctor and tells him he has erectile dysfunction. The doc scratches his chin, and then snaps his fingers.

"I've got just the thing for you! This is a new medicine; just cleared clinical trials. You'll feel like you're twenty again!"

"Anything to get me ba...

I got caught smuggling a gun to the furry convention

Security guard : *(notices bulge)* OwO what's this?!!

2 Guys walk out of the gym together.

The first guy has a big bulge near his pocket. The second guy points at and and asks what it is.

"Tennis ball."

The second guy makes a face like he's thinking, and then says "Well I had tennis elbow once..."

A man walks up to a hotel counter to check out.

The woman at the counter notices his bulge, and can’t help but stare at it. The man asks “what are you doing?” The woman says “I’m checking you out.”

The girls in the tower

It was a rainy night when the man walked into the tower. He saw a single flight of stairs and a door, and when he went past it, it locked itself.

In front of him was the most repulsive being you could conceive. The very idea of disgusting. She winked at the man, and said "Stay with me, or yo...

Weight loss

A guy learns about a new workout method - rapid weight reduction guaranteed. He calls the company, they make an appointment for the standard package .

At the given time it knocks on his door. He opens and there is this really nice girl in a tight running outfit - she winks at him and says- ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is running late for his tee time

So he grabs his golf bag, throws a few spare balls into his pocket, and heads for the train that runs near the course.

A few minutes into the train ride, he notices an elderly woman staring at the bulge in his pants from the spare golf balls.

"They're golf balls, ma'am."

"Ohhh...

The Russian Pretzel. Slight NSFW

It is the day of the World Championship in Freestyle wrestling. Just before the Gold medal match, a coach is giving one last pep talk before his man goes on the match.
"O.k. This Russian is known as the best of all time. He has gone undefeated for 7 years now and it is all because of his famous P...

An old man dies...

...and at the funeral, his family members walk to the casket to say their final respects. When they're done, the old mans son notices a bulge in his fathers pants. When he goes to ask the funeral director about it, the director says "Oh, don't worry about that, it's just mourning wood"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman at a fancy restaurant is chocking...

Hands on her neck, face turning blue. A man runs over, pulls down her dress and licks her ass. The woman's eyes bulge and a piece of steak goes flying. She turns to the man and says "What the fuck was that?!" To which the man responds "The hind-lick maneuver."

-credit to grumpy guy at work.

I go to the Jim every morning

Are you thin? Are you overweight? Are you fighting the battle of the bulge? Do you have a sedentary lifestyle? Are you plain lazy? Do you have someone or the other always telling you to go to the gym?

Here's something for you...

"Instead of calling my bathroom the John, I call it the J...

What do Caitlyn Jenner and WWII have in common?

The Battle of the Bulge.

A man goes for a jog...

...as he passes the tennis courts he finds a tennis ball in the gutter. He picks it up and it seems to be a good find, so he puts it in his pocket and continues his jog. As he approaches home, he sees his next door neighbor outside watering the lawn. He stops to say hello and they start chatting. Ho...

A man takes his new girlfriend golfing...

She had never been before so he wanted to take her out for her very first time and impress her with how good he is.

They get to the course and he says "hang on I gotta run into the clubhouse and pay for our round."

He goes in and pays and while he's at the counter, picks up a sleeve (3...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys go on a visit to the zoo.

After wandering around looking at all the different animals, they finally make their way to the gorilla exhibit. One boy looks to the other, says "Watch this," and sticks his fingers in his ears and looks at the gorilla. To his friend's astonishment, the gorilla copies him. He then opens his eyes wi...

Jogger finds a tennis ball

So Joe is out jogging alongside a tennis court. Unspurprisingly, he spots a tennis ball which has gone over the net. It's getting late and nobody's left playing, he figures they just left the ball there.


So Joe picks up the ball and puts it in his shorts pocket, to play with his dog later...

Golf Balls....

A man got on a bus, his driver in hand and pants pockets stuffed with golf balls, headed to the driving range. A blonde lady sitting across from him saw the bulges and started to stare at his crotch with big eyes. The man noticed, and in an embarrassed voice said to her, “It’s just golf balls, Ma'am...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Foot and a Half!

It is Samantha's wedding day, which also means it is the first time she will get to make love to her newly-wed husband. Being nervous due to the fact that it was her first sexual experience, she asked her mom to be in the house in case something went wrong. Agreeing to this, Samantha takes her husba...

One my grandmother told me . . .

Little Susie's mother was sending her to the corner grocery store. "Ask for a pound of dried peas," she said. "And don't forget to ask Mr. Jones how his wife is feeling. She had a bad fall last week."
So Little Susie walks to the grocery repeating to herself, "A pound of dried peas, and how is...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.