What do you call 2 broadway shows going out for dinner?
A Broadway producer is telling his woes to a bartender...
A Broadway producer is telling his woes to a bartender and is explaining how much money he is losing on his latest play. He knows it's no good but feels if he could get some awards people would start talking about it and wanting to go see it. He just needs to figure out a way to get this play to win...
Did you hear the one about the Vegan Crossfitter who saw Hamilton live on Broadway with the original cast?
He didn't know which one to talk about first.
I recently attended a Broadway show about Puns...
...it was a play on words.
What’s another name for a Broadway script?
A play on words.
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank...
The Kool-Aid man use to be a broadway actor
He had to turn to commercials after learning he had the inability to stop himself from breaking the fourth wall.
Did you hear that they're making a Broadway production based off the dictionary?
It's a play on words.
I pull up at a gas station in broadway to get a water
As I got out—now I can't make this up—I noticed 2 cops watching a woman who was smoking while pumping her gas. I saw her and thought that this lady must be stupid, crazy, or both.
I continued to go inside and got my water. As I was paying for it, I heard someone screaming. I looked outside a...
In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook’s right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...
Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee
So I saw a Broadway show about Dictionaries the other night.
I guess one could call it a “Play on words”.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A mother serves a creamy yellow soup to her son and his girlfriend at the dinner tablr
Everyone begins consuming it immediately. The girlfriend, an aspiring theater actress, says to her boyfriend’s mother, “This soup is absolutely delicious! What’s the secret ingredient?”
“Piss,” replied his mother.
Everyone promptly spits out their soup.
“Excuse me?” asks his ...
A pasta chef was caught stuffing the ballot boxes at a big Broadway awards show.
Apparently, he was trying to rig a Tony.
In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook’s right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..
Come together, right now... over Smee.
I was invited to Broadway show called Vocabulary and I had to go.
I never pass up a good play on words.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Our President Elect is a real tough guy...
The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.
So the square root of -1 is performing in a Broadway show
Suddenly, an audience member stands up and shouts "I'm sure everyone will agree that i could replace you!"
Did you hear about the Italian that wanted to cheat the Broadway award voting?
He wanted to rig a Tony.
A washed up actor hasn't gotten a job in years...
... He has lost his ability to remember lines. But after looking for work for a very long time, finally he gets the lead role in a Broadway musical.
When he arrives at the theater the director tells him, "You have the most important part, but you only have one line. You walk onto stage with a...
US Presidents remake the US in their image
DDE: Pave the country so all people can drive to see Nature.
JFK: Lofty sounding speeches, but nasty family history, and conspiracies abound; unusual relationship with Hollywood. Violent gun-related death that is not the fault of guns.
LBJ: Very proud of his wounds, will show them to ...
Our two new mods, ElderCunningham and iBleeedorange
Not too long ago we started advertising new moderator positions for /r/jokes, and after receiving a bunch of submissions, we found our two candidates.
I've asked them to write up a brief introduction for themselves.
First up is /u/iBleeedorange, who also mods /r/diablo...
An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...
After contacting many people that he worked with in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a popular new Broadway play. The director tells him its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it is a very important line. It sets the mood for the rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails ...
It's time to act now
Let's stage a socialist takeover of Broadway and seize the means of productions!
The twenty and the one . . .
A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they strike up a conversation.
The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had...