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What do you call 2 broadway shows going out for dinner?

Play date.

Why did the Kool-Aid man stop acting on Broadway?

He always broke the fourth wall.

Have you heard about the new Broadway act based on the dictionary?

It's a play on words.

Crossing

The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross, while a cop directed traffic.

Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" The throng surged across B...

A Broadway producer is telling his woes to a bartender...

A Broadway producer is telling his woes to a bartender and is explaining how much money he is losing on his latest play. He knows it's no good but feels if he could get some awards people would start talking about it and wanting to go see it. He just needs to figure out a way to get this play to win...

Did you hear the one about the Vegan Crossfitter who saw Hamilton live on Broadway with the original cast?

He didn't know which one to talk about first.

In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook’s right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...

Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee

A pasta chef was caught stuffing the ballot boxes at a big Broadway awards show.

Apparently, he was trying to rig a Tony.

Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."


Passenger: "Who?"


Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you ...

I recently attended a Broadway show about Puns...

...it was a play on words.

What’s another name for a Broadway script?

A play on words.

I pull up at a gas station in broadway to get a water

As I got out—now I can't make this up—I noticed 2 cops watching a woman who was smoking while pumping her gas. I saw her and thought that this lady must be stupid, crazy, or both.

I continued to go inside and got my water. As I was paying for it, I heard someone screaming. I looked outside a...

I was invited to Broadway show called Vocabulary and I had to go.

I never pass up a good play on words.

So I saw a Broadway show about Dictionaries the other night.

I guess one could call it a “Play on words”.

In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook’s right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..

Come together, right now... over Smee.

So the square root of -1 is performing in a Broadway show

Suddenly, an audience member stands up and shouts "I'm sure everyone will agree that i could replace you!"

Did you hear about the Italian that wanted to cheat the Broadway award voting?

He wanted to rig a Tony.

Trey Parker goes back in time to his 7 year old self at Casa Bonita...

Look, in the future you are going to have a very successful TV show for over 20 years, over 4 movies, Broadway accolades and a billion dollars. Also, you own Casa Bonita now.
And his 7 year old self says with excitement "I'm gonna own Casa Bonita?!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Our President Elect is a real tough guy...

The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.

A washed up actor hasn't gotten a job in years...

... He has lost his ability to remember lines. But after looking for work for a very long time, finally he gets the lead role in a Broadway musical.

When he arrives at the theater the director tells him, "You have the most important part, but you only have one line. You walk onto stage with a...

An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...

After contacting many people that he worked with in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a popular new Broadway play. The director tells him its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it is a very important line. It sets the mood for the rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails ...

Our two new mods, ElderCunningham and iBleeedorange

Hey guys,

Not too long ago we started advertising new moderator positions for /r/jokes, and after receiving a bunch of submissions, we found our two candidates.

I've asked them to write up a brief introduction for themselves.

First up is /u/iBleeedorange, who also mods /r/diablo...

The twenty and the one . . .

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they strike up a conversation.

The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother serves a creamy yellow soup to her son and his girlfriend at the dinner tablr

Everyone begins consuming it immediately. The girlfriend, an aspiring theater actress, says to her boyfriend’s mother, “This soup is absolutely delicious! What’s the secret ingredient?”

“Piss,” replied his mother.

Everyone promptly spits out their soup.

“Excuse me?” asks his ...

It's time to act now

Let's stage a socialist takeover of Broadway and seize the means of productions!

Why did the actor jump off a building in Times Square?

He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.

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