Why can chess Bishops only more diagonally?

Because north, south, east and west are Cardinal directions.

What is it called when the pieces in the corner of a chessboard move diagonally

A rookie mistake

Why did Ancient Egyptians placed their arms diagonally close to their chests?

Because they thought there were waterslides in the afterlife

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Old Man Get's The Attention Of The IRS For Some Suspicious Activities

The old man arrives to his appointment with the IRS representative with his lawyer.

The rep asks how he accumulated so much money without working a job or owning investments.

The old man responds: "I make all my money placing bets"

Rep: "What kind of bets do you make?"

Ol...

I'm not racist." I said to my buddy. "But I prefer my sandwiches cut diagonally." "That's not racist." he said.

"Exactly!" I replied. "I said I wasn't racist."

Wanna hear a diagonal joke?

Coming right up!

When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.

Classic rook-y mistake.

I got into trouble at church the other day

During his sermon, the priest asked, "What does a Bishop do?"

"Moves diagonally" was not the answer he wanted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Bishop has been arrested for failing to stop sexual abuse happening directly in front of him. He claimed he was powerless to stop it

because he could only move diagonally.

A bishop walks into a bar and walks straight up to the bartender who shouts, “Hey pal! You can’t do that!"

"Bishops can only move diagonally!"

Woman calls the cops to complain about a neighbour harassing her

The cop arrives at her apartment with a notebook in hand to take notes.
Cop: Yes Mam, tell me who’s this person and what are they doing ?

Woman: he lives in the flat one floor above and is constantly looking at me, when I’m in my bathroom. Such a creep.

Cop: ( a bit confused) can...

A bishop came to my Church.

He was an impostor. Never once moved diagonally.

From a kid in the local chess club

Kid: Do you know why bishops move diagonally?
Me: No, why?
Kid: Because catholic priests never go straight

The Bishop was late for service

One day, the Bishop was late for church service.
He said it was traffic, but I don't think he went straight there.

He probably went diagonally.

I met my town's bishop at Easter mass today but I think he might be an imposter...

... he didn't move diagonally

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Watchmaker

The Boy was due to meet his friends down the third alley from the green sign. The bar at the end of that alley, they had said, was a place where spirits and souls mixed together with the languid flow of warm summer air.

But The Boy had started drinking when the sun was still ascending, and n...

Long

A primary school class has just returned to school after the summer vacation. The teacher asks them, one by one, to come up to the blackboard and draw something exciting that happened during their holidays. First up was Jimmy. Jimmy draw a series of diagonal lines across the blackboard. What's that ...

What did the bishop say after they redid the vestibule with black and white tiles?

"It looks nice but now I can only enter and exit diagonally "

The best part of being single is being able to sleep around...

You get to sleep all over your bed. Left, right, diagonal, or in the middle.

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