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Theatres Jokes

I just found out that the movie “Lincoln” made almost $300 million in movie theatres.

I was shocked. Historically Lincoln doesn’t do too well in theatres.

I used to have a job cutting holes to make trapdoors for theatres.

It was just a stage I was going through.

Why couldn’t Hellen Keller see Pirates of the Caribbean in theatres?

Because she’s dead

People often ask me how I manage to smuggle chocolate into movie theatres

Let's just say, I have a few Twix up my sleeve...

A Woman goes to the Optician

for her annual eye test. The Optician puts a contraption her face and asks her what can she see.
"I see empty airports, I see empty football grounds. I see closed theatres, closed pubs and closed restaurants"

"That's perfect" says the Optician "You've got 2020 vision"

Why did Obama have the cast of Hamilton preform at the White House?

Because presidents don’t do too well in theatres

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Engineer in Hell

There was a engineer who went to heaven, but when he got to the gates, St. Peter told him that he wasn't on the list and sent him to Hell. Thinking he'd spend his whole eternal life in Hell, the engineer decided to try and make it a better place.

Seeing as Hell was really hot, the engineer bu...

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