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Hbo Jokes

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Con-fucking-gratulations to me! I'm a screenwriter and I just signed a deal with the parent company of Universal Pictures!

Looks like I'll be going with the basic cable plus HBO Max.

HBO is reportedly planning on a new TV series based on Hermione from Harry Potter.

It's called Granger Things

A Russian joke from HBO’s Chernobyl

What do you call something as big as a house, uses tons of gas, and cuts apples into 3 pieces?



A Soviet machine made to cut apples into 4 pieces.

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Real old soviet era joke, also heard on HBO Chernobyl

What's big as a house, burns 20 liters of fuel every hour, puts out a shitload of smoke and noise and cuts an apple into three pieces?

A Soviet machine made to cut apples into four pieces!

So HBO is making a new show about Chernobyl...

Seems like a sensitive topic to make a tv show out of. Think they'll address the elephant's foot in the room?

HBO may have ruled out a GOT spinoff with Arya

But they haven't ruled out a sitcom that follows Tyrion and Bran as they rule the six kingdoms

"Two Half Men"

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[nsfw] When HBO launches a show they trademark all the possible porn names. They now own...

“Game of bones”, “Dothraki Bukaki”, “Ass High in the shadow” and of course “Two Cleganes one Bowl”

The Elder Gods don't pay for cable TV, HBO, or FiOS...

They have Cth-Hulu

HBO Max has removed the film “Gone With The Wind,” from their streaming platform and...

frankly my dear...

HBO cancels "Luck" after horse deaths.

Their next endeavor is to make a mini series called "Glue".

My friend recently subscribed to HBO and asked me if I could help him with the name of the disaster TV show he had been hearing everyone talk about at work.

Apparently, it's not Game of Thrones S8.

So HBO is making a drama about relatives conspiring against eachother to take control of the family pastry company

It's going to be called Game of Scones

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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

Knock knock

Who's there?

Bad endings.

Bad endings who?

We also go by HBO

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A prospector has been in the mountains for years.

I stole this from an HBO comedy special and posted it elsewhere.

A prospector spent 5 years in the mountains looking for gold. One day he comes to town and heads to the bar. He says "bartender, gimme a whiskey". He has his drink and says "bartender, you got any women around here?". Bartender ...

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Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.<...

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Sopranos Jokes

Here are two pretty good jokes from the HBO television series:


A rich man and a poor man are friends. Every year they go Christmas shopping for their wives and every year meet up and get dinner afterwards.

At dinner the poor man asks the rich man "So, what'd you get for your wife ...

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