An Actual Event that Happened Before and After My Brain Surgery

I was looking one day before my brain surgery at a picture with all the hospital presidents in the picture.

Cue a few days and after surgery. My neurosurgeon arrived in my patient room and asked me a question to see if my brain was functioning correctly. The question was, “Who was the presid...

I told my doctor I didn't want a brain surgery...

But he changed my mind anyway.

What happens to a failed brain surgery?

The patient loses its mind.

A blonde is scheduled to have brain surgery...

The surgeon proceeds to sedate her and opens her skull... To his surprise, there was no brain inside, just a nice red silk thread running across the inside.



He didn't know what to do, so he simply cut the thread..... and her ears fell off....

I'm in the O.R. waiting room waiting on my daughter's brain surgery please tell me a joke

My daughter is having her pituitary gland removed. She has Gigantism like Andre The Giant.


Update!
She has been out of surgery for less then 10 hours and is doing great. (for someone that brain surgery for breakfast) Most of the pituitary gland was removed. The doctors are great and t...

I came back from brain surgery

The doctors said they took out the limbic system but I don’t remember what that is

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[shitty joke incoming] A man just woke up from brain surgery...

Where he got a brain tumor removed. When the doctor asked if he was okay he said he felt light headed.

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A guy’s doctor tells him he needs brain surgery

The guy asks, “Doc, after the surgery, will I be able to play the violin?”

The doctor tells the guy, “Go fuck yourself”

Why is there no clear distinction concerning the morality of altering one's personality through brain surgery?

Because, it's a bit of a grey matter!

Where does a hippopotamus live if he wants to study brain surgery in college?

A hippo-campus

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What's the difference between a complimentary cocktail and a significant brain surgery?

One is a free bottle in front of me, and the other is a pre-frontal lobotomy

Did you hear about the guy who thought he performed brain surgery on himself?

Turned out, it was all in his head.

You know, I always hear about people saying that trying LSD really opened their mind.

For me it was brain surgery that opened mine.

A surgeon fails an eye surgery

No one bats an eye.
A surgeon fails a brain surgery
and everybody loses their minds

It's isn't rocket science

A patient on the dentist's chair was scared and quite apprehensive about the procedure he was going to undergo.

He asks a lot of questions and details from the dentist.

The dentist says, reassuringly:

"Relax, it's not brain surgery....Unless I slip."

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Golf Truisims

* Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

* Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during
your swing.

* When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use
one more club or two more balls.

* If you're afraid a ful...

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3 surgeons are in a bar...

They're arguing over who is the best surgeon out of all of them. The first one goes, "Well, one of my patients lost his leg, but after I gave him a prosthetic leg, he became an Olympic runner." Second one goes, "Psh, that's nothing! I once had a patient with several brain disabilities and was mental...

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