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Prostate Jokes

After my prostate exam the doctor walked out and the nurse walked in. Then she asked me something no man wants to hear..

Who was that?

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During my prostate exam, my doctor told me it’s perfectly normal to become aroused and even ejaculate.

That being said, I still wish he hadn’t.

What's the worst thing to feel during a prostate exam?

2 hands on your shoulders

Prostate exam

A man goes to his doctor for his prostate exam. The doctor gets his glove and starts doing his thing, when suddenly, he finds a £50 note! The doctor keeps searching and finds a large amount of notes and coins at different amounts. After he's sure he got everything out, he counts it all up.

...

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What do the testicles and prostate have in common?

Nothing. There’s a vas deferens between the two.

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A man goes for a prostate exam.

The doctor is checking him out when he finds a roll of $100 bills stuffed up his ass. He pulls out the money and counts it.

“You’re not gonna believe this, but I just found $1900 shoved up your ass!”

The man says, “Well that makes sense. That’s why I haven’t been feeling too grand.”

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I went to get a prostate exam and the doctor told me I need to stop masterbating...

I asked why?

He said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

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Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy. It releases dopamine and reduces stress. Improves prostate gland and cardiovascular health..

Still got thrown off the bus.

During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"?

"Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.

I was really worried when I went to prostate exam. My doctor said James you got this, just don’t get hard

Which I said: my name isn’t James.
He said yeah, mine is.

After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear.

Who was that?

I went to get a prostate exam yesterday...

the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.

"You, know", the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, "it's shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's not uncommon for some men to get an erection during this procedure."

"I don't have an erection', I responded.
...

My Dr said the prostate exam can cause erections in some men

Turns out he wasn't talking about the patient.

What’s the last thing you want to hear during a prostate exam?

“Pull my finger”

My doctor told me that I had a healthy prostate.

I was deeply touched.

I went for a prostate exam.

I got thumbs up.

A man is at a doctor's office about to have his prostate checked.

The doctor says "Okay, Steve, let's not get an erection again during the procedure." The man looks at the doctor confused, and says "My name isn't Steve, it's Dave." The doctor says "I know. I'm Steve."

I asked my doctor to use 2 fingers when checking my prostate..

I wanted a second opinion.

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It's so awkward getting a boner during a prostate exam.

Especially when they realize you're not a doctor.

I just had my first prostate examination

Worst dentist ever.

My doctor sent me for a prostate exam to the nearest hospital. I went, reluctantly, got called in the office and patiently suffered through the very personal examination.

When the examining surgeon left, a nurse came in and asked a question that sent shivers down my soul: “Who the heck was that?”

What worse then having your doctor reach up and grab your shoulder while giving you a prostate exam?

Having your doctor reach up and grab both your shoulders while doing you prostrate exam

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It is medically proven that regular ejaculations greatly reduce the risk of prostate cancer. (NSFW)

Call them Health Nuts.

During my prostate exam the doctor put his hands on my shoulders and said "Dave, it's normal to get a hard-on while doing this."

"My name is not Dave," I replied.

"Yes, I know," said the doctor, "I am Dave."

To had to go for my first prostate exam today.

To had to go for my first prostate exam today. Doctor came in and said, "hello, I'm doctor Williams. Please drop your pants. Now Chris, don't get an erection."
I said " my name is not Chris"
He said," I know, Chris is my name".

I was worried about my prostate exam

But luckily my doctor was kind enough to keep his hands on my shoulders the whole time to reassure me.

I was having a prostate exam...

Me:*squirms

Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an erection at a time like this.

So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.

I got my first prostate exam last week.

Never going to that dentist again...

My doctor checked my prostate last week

It was the worst dentist appointment of my life.

[NSFW] A nurse was dating a Doctor and got pregnant...

The married doctor begged her to keep it a secret and asked her to keep away from public eye.

Nine months later,she came to the hospital for delivery.

At the same moment, a priest was admitted for having a large cyst in his prostate gland .

The doctor had an idea. He sedates the...

Prostate Exam

After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....

She said...."Who was that guy?"

I just got my prostate examined.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.

My proctologist was very happy with my prostate check results.

Two thumbs up.

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Prostate exam

So I’m at my urology appointment for my prostate exam.

Urologist: “Sir, you really need to stop masturbating. “

Me: surprised “Why?!?”

Urologist: “Because I really need to finish this exam.”

I went to the doctor to get a prostate exam.

The doctor told me to take my jeans and underpants off and to bend over the table.
As he was putting plastic gloves on, he said:

”Alright Steve, don’t get hard this time.”

”My name’s not Steve” I said.

”Yes, I know. I am Steve”.

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So I had my prostate exam today…

and the doc had me bend over with my pants and underwear down.

He put his left hand on my hip and his right hand he…wait…he put his right hand on my hip and…

You know what? That bastard had both hands on my hips!

Prostate exam

Patient bent over naked about to get his prostate checked.
Dr says "ok Dave don't get a hard on "
Patient says " my name is Kenneth"
Dr says " my name is DAVE"

A man goes to the Doctor for a prostate exam.

The Doctor puts on his rubber glove and the man bends down. The Doctor sticks his finger and proceeds with the checkup. After about a minute the Doctor says:

\- Don't worry, it's very normal to get an erection during this exam.

The man replies:

\- But I don't have an erection....

My friend went to the doctor for a prostate exam

The doctor asked him to bend over the exam table. Then the doctor stands behind him and tells him to relax. My friend said he heard the doctor put on his gloves and squirt some lubricant into his hand. The doctor says, “On the count of three. 1, 2, 3”, and begins the exam. After a few minutes, my bu...

a man goes into a doctors office for a prostate exam

The patient says "hey doc where should I put my pants?"
The doctor says "ah just put them next to mine"

I feel like there is a problem with my prostate...

...but I can't put my finger on it.

Have you heard about the Transformer who turns into a prostate vibrator?

I finally understand what they mean by ***"robots in these guys"***

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Prostate check

I went to see a doctor the other day about getting my prostate checked. The rude bastard told me to never come back!
Well specifically he said “this is the third time this week, and the last. I’m a fucking podiatrist” blah blah blah.

It's Not That I Didn't Like The Prostate Exam,

It's just the way he massages my shoulders while he's doing it.

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Prostate massages are like stickers with excessively strong glue.

It’s a pain in the ass to get off.

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What did Kurt Cobain say when he went to his prostate exam?

"Here we are now, enter anus"

Went to my doctor today for a check up and afterwards he told me my prostate was in peak physical condition....

I thought it was a strange thing for a dermatologist to say but hey good to know

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I see all these prostate exam jokes...enjoy!

Prostate Exam

A man
goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as
a precaution.

When he gets there, he discovers the
urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

The female
doctor says, 'I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new
pro...

I gave myself a prostate exam earlier.

That's the last time I buy cheap toilet roll.

As the doctor slid his finger in for the prostate exam I smiled.

The doctor locked eyes with me and it suddenly got awkward.

So I ran away from the window.

Had my first prostate exam today

Doctor was very nice. In the middle of the exam he asked if I was ok.

I said "I'm fine, Doc. But how the hell are your hands on my shoulders right now?"

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Prostate exams

Put the anal in analysis

New Prostate Exam Joke

A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. While the Doctor is performing the exam, he says to the patient, " Don't be embarassed, its common for men to get an erection during this part of the exam".

The patient answers "I don't have an erection"

The Doctor replies "I know,...

I just got my annual prostate exam.

My doctor has me drop my pants and place both my hands on the table. He gets behind me and does his inspection.

The odd thing is though, both of his hands are always on the table too.

My doctor said it's normal to get an erection during a prostate exam

But I would still prefer it if he didn't whip it out in the middle of our appointment.

What does prostate cancer patient have in common with a basketball player?

They both dribble

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Why does Santa have prostate cancer?

Because he only cums once a year.

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Whats the similarity between avian flu and prostate cancer

cock inspection

Giving prostate exams is one of the more awkward parts of being a doctor.

I just hope my patients don't realize im a dentist.

What did the prostate doctor say to the kfc worker?

it's finger lickin' good

“How was your prostate exam honey?”

“I was nervous at first but the doctor was very nice. He even put both his hand on my shoulders the entire time to calm me down”

So I went in for my prostate exam...

The guy put on the glove and started to go up in me. It went on for quite a while. Then, he took off the glove, said to put my pants back on and left the exam room.
A minute later, the nurse came in and said the one thing I didn't want to hear...


"Who was that guy?"

Didn't shower before my prostate exam today.

Doctor told me that there may be something wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

So i went to have a prostate exam the other day

The doctor told me to take my underwear and trousers off, but i had a Complete mindblank moment and said "Where should i put them?"

He looked at me with reassuring eyes and replied "Just pop them next to mine".

I wish all doctors were this considerate.

My doctor asked if I wanted a digital prostate exam..

He didn't mention there were no electronics involved but now I get his point

How do you know when it’s time to leave in the middle of your prostate exam?

When you feel both the doctors hands rest on your back.

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Some people think the scrotum and the prostate are the same thing.

But there's a vas deferens between the two.

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If being sexually active reduces the chance of developing prostate cancer, guess what I am doing tonight?

Developing cancer.

The most embarrassing erection I ever got was during a prostate exam.

Of course then he realised I wasn’t a real doctor.

I went to see my Doctor yesterday for a prostate examination...

There was nothing to worry about, he gave me the thumbs up.

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What’s the difference between the scrotum and the prostate?

I don’t remember exactly, but I’m pretty sure there’s a vas deferens

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Curing Prostate Cancer

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was on the dole in Australia but about to fly home to watch the Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey!" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he h...

What do a printer and a prostate have in common?

Control pee

,, Don't feel embarassed Sir, erection is common during a prostate exam"

,, But doctor, I don't have an erection! "

,, I know, but I do"

I thought getting an erection during a prostate exam was inappropriate, but my Doctor told me it happens all the time, just ignore it.

I tried to but he kept rubbing it against my hip.

What is another name for your prostate exam?

Anal-aysis

Did you hear about the man with prostate cancer?

Yeah, I heard he was a total ;

I was getting a prostate exam and the doctor said "don't worry, it's perfectly normal to get an erection"

I just wish he'd put his pants back on

I took a prostate exam at home, I think I failed...

I lost my pen

Prostate checkup

I went for a checkup and got my prostate examined. I asked him if everything was okay and he said "feels fine to me, but what do I know i'm just your dentist"

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A 40 year old man went go to take a prostate exam...

As the nervous man walked into the doctor's office, the male doctor told him to "relax everything will be quick". The man of course was hesitant, but agreed. The doctor said "sir I will count to 3 and then I want you to breathe in at 3, then I will enter the rectum". The man again was hesitant, but ...

My mom said Vladimir sounded like a diagnosis. I said " I have Vladimir of the prostate"

...because I been Putin stuff in there.

I was getting a prostate examination when the doctor said "just so you know, this is a digital rectal exam".

"I understand. I know what is involved", I reply.

The doctor elaborates, "Just so you know, this exam will likely cause an erection".

I consider it for a moment and say, "That's fine, I've got it under control. It should be ok".

The doctor replies, "I wasn't talking about you."

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"Masturbation can help relieve depression and lead to a higher sense of self-esteem, as well as reduce the risk of prostate cancer."

And apparently that is not the correct answer to give when being questioned by the police as to why I was jacking off while riding the bus.

Why do men with prostate issues have issues stealing video game systems?

Because they have trouble taking a Wii.

Prostate Exam

I went to the doctors for a prostate exam. He said “I should make you aware that it’s perfectly normal to get an erection during this type of examination.”
I said “But I haven’t got an erection.”
“No,” he said, “but I have.”

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Joke #3481 A man receives the bad news that he's going to die in the morning

Through an unfortunate miracle of medical science, a man receives the worst news possible from his doctor.

"I'm sorry, but tomorrow morning at precisely 7:23, you're going to have a brain clot that will kill you."

The man is stunned. "But I don't even feel sick!"

The doctor exp...

Mike was undergoing his first prostate examination...

It was uncomfortable, but the doctor seemed like a professional. Still, Mike was nervous.

Doctor: It's normal to get an erection during a prostate exam

Mike: I don't have an erection

Doctor: I was talking about myself

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What happens when Principal Skinner gets a prostate exam?

The doctor puts his Arm in Tamzarian.

Prostate examination [NSFW]

A guy goes into the medical center for a checkup. The nurse asks him if he's ever had a prostate exam before, and reassures him it's very straightforward and not to worry. Just go through into the next room, and the doctor will be with you shortly.
So he goes into the room and starts undressing. ...

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