During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"?

‟Over there by mine”, wasn‘t the answer I was expecting.

What is the worst thing to feel when getting a prostate exam?

Two hands on your shoulders

After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear.

“Who was that?”

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A man goes for a prostate exam.

The doctor is checking him out when he finds a roll of $100 bills stuffed up his ass. He pulls out the money and counts it.

“You’re not gonna believe this, but I just found $1900 shoved up your ass!”

The man says, “Well that makes sense. That’s why I haven’t been feeling too grand.”

A man goes in for a prostate exam

The gentlemen is waiting for the doctor to come in and start the examination.

The young doctor comes in and greets the patient explaining that he will conduct the exam and grabs a pair of gloves.

The doctor then says “ Okay Steve this is your first Prostate exam, don’t get an errectio...

After my prostate exam the doctor walked out and the nurse walked in. Then she asked me something no man wants to hear..

Who was that..

A man is at a doctor's office about to have his prostate checked.

The doctor says "Okay, Steve, let's not get an erection again during the procedure." The man looks at the doctor confused, and says "My name isn't Steve, it's Dave." The doctor says "I know. I'm Steve."

I got my first prostate exam last week.

Never going to that dentist again...

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Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy . it releases dopamine and reduces stress . improves prostate and cardiovascular health ...

and i still got thrown off the bus

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What do the testicles and prostate have in common?

Nothing. There’s a vas deferens between the two.

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I named my enlarged prostate Gandalf

Because every time I try to go it shouts "YOU SHALL NOT PISS!"

During my prostate exam the doctor put his hands on my shoulders and said "Dave, it's normal to get a hard-on while doing this."

"My name is not Dave," I replied.

"Yes, I know," said the doctor, "I am Dave."

Prostate exam

A man goes to his doctor for his prostate exam. The doctor gets his glove and starts doing his thing, when suddenly, he finds a £50 note! The doctor keeps searching and finds a large amount of notes and coins at different amounts. After he's sure he got everything out, he counts it all up.

...

Had my first prostate exam today

Doctor was very nice. In the middle of the exam he asked if I was ok.

I said "I'm fine, Doc. But how the hell are your hands on my shoulders right now?"

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Prostate massages are like stickers with excessively strong glue.

It’s a pain in the ass to get off.

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My Doctor tells me it's not uncommon to get an erection and ejaculate during a prostate exam.

But I still wish he wouldn't.

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Whats the similarity between avian flu and prostate cancer

cock inspection

Have you heard about the Transformer who turns into a prostate vibrator?

I finally understand what they mean by ***"robots in these guys"***

I just got my annual prostate exam.

My doctor has me drop my pants and place both my hands on the table. He gets behind me and does his inspection.

The odd thing is though, both of his hands are always on the table too.

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Why should we not call the penis and the prostate the same thing?

Because there's a vas deferens between them.

I was worried about my prostate exam

But luckily my doctor was kind enough to keep his hands on my shoulders the whole time to reassure me.

Mondays are like prostate exams...

A pain in the ass, but at least they only happen once per week.

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Why does Santa have prostate cancer?

Because he only cums once a year.

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Prostate exams

Put the anal in analysis

It's Not That I Didn't Like The Prostate Exam,

It's just the way he massages my shoulders while he's doing it.

[NSFW] A nurse was dating a Doctor and got pregnant...

The married doctor begged her to keep it a secret and asked her to keep away from public eye.

Nine months later,she came to the hospital for delivery.

At the same moment, a priest was admitted for having a large cyst in his prostate gland .

The doctor had an idea. He sedates the...

What does prostate cancer patient have in common with a basketball player?

They both dribble

What’s the last thing you want to hear during a prostate exam?

“Pull my finger”

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I went to get a prostate exam and the doctor told me I need to stop masterbating...

I asked why?

He said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

A man goes to the Doctor for a prostate exam.

The Doctor puts on his rubber glove and the man bends down. The Doctor sticks his finger and proceeds with the checkup. After about a minute the Doctor says:

\- Don't worry, it's very normal to get an erection during this exam.

The man replies:

\- But I don't have an erection....

I just read a study that the hops in beer can irritate men's prostates

If anything in beer bothers your prostate you're consuming it the wrong way.

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Prostate Exam

I went to the doctors for a prostate exam. The doctor told me it’s not unusual to orgasm and ejaculate during the exam.

But I wish he hadn’t

I been going to the same office since a little kid, so I feel obligated to keep goin, but lately the prostate exams are getting longer and more painful. Last time he even rubbed my shoulders during the exam...

I think I should look for a new dentist....

My doctor asked if I wanted a digital prostate exam..

He didn't mention there were no electronics involved but now I get his point

Giving prostate exams is one of the more awkward parts of being a doctor.

I just hope my patients don't realize im a dentist.

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Doctor's visit

A man visited his doctor for a prostate exam. The doctor warned him it might cause a strong erection. When the doctor inserted a finger in his ass no erection occurred and he let the doctor know. "Oh, I didn't mean it would happen to you!"

“How was your prostate exam honey?”

“I was nervous at first but the doctor was very nice. He even put both his hand on my shoulders the entire time to calm me down”

My doctor said it's normal to get an erection during a prostate exam

But I would still prefer it if he didn't whip it out in the middle of our appointment.

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During my first prostate exam, I've grabbed the doctor's penis

\-What the hell are you doing!?

Asked the doctor, to wich I answered:

\-Making sure it's really your finger that you use.

What's the worst thing to hear immediately after a prostate exam?

The nurse walk in and say "Who was that guy?"

A 40 something year old man goes have his first prostate exam...

He walks into the doctors office and nervously asks "Doctor this is my first time, where should I leave my pants?" The doctor says "you can hang them over there next to mine".

What did the prostate doctor say to the kfc worker?

it's finger lickin' good

So I went in for my prostate exam...

The guy put on the glove and started to go up in me. It went on for quite a while. Then, he took off the glove, said to put my pants back on and left the exam room.
A minute later, the nurse came in and said the one thing I didn't want to hear...


"Who was that guy?"

I was having a prostate exam...

Me:*squirms

Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an erection at a time like this.

So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.

Didn't shower before my prostate exam today.

Doctor told me that there may be something wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

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What did Kurt Cobain say when he went to his prostate exam?

"Here we are now, enter anus"

I went to get a prostate exam yesterday...

the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.

"You, know", the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, "it's shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's not uncommon for some men to get an erection during this procedure."

"I don't have an erection', I responded.
...

A young man went to get a prostate exam

youngman: "hey doc I never done one of this before."

doctor: "its fine just take your panta off."

youngman: "where should I put my pants?"

doctor: "next to mine is fine."

Went to my doctor today for a check up and afterwards he told me my prostate was in peak physical condition....

I thought it was a strange thing for a dermatologist to say but hey good to know

My mom said Vladimir sounded like a diagnosis. I said " I have Vladimir of the prostate"

...because I been Putin stuff in there.

How do you know when it’s time to leave in the middle of your prostate exam?

When you feel both the doctors hands rest on your back.

I just got my prostate examined.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.

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What's the difference between your mother, and your father's hamster tube?

One's a fat prostitute and the other's a fat prostate chute.

The most embarrassing erection I ever got was during a prostate exam.

Of course then he realised I wasn’t a real doctor.

My doctor checked my prostate last week

It was the worst dentist appointment of my life.

What did the optometrist say when he walked into another doctor's prostate exam

How many fingers is he holding up?

So i went to have a prostate exam the other day

The doctor told me to take my underwear and trousers off, but i had a Complete mindblank moment and said "Where should i put them?"

He looked at me with reassuring eyes and replied "Just pop them next to mine".

I wish all doctors were this considerate.

,, Don't feel embarassed Sir, erection is common during a prostate exam"

,, But doctor, I don't have an erection! "

,, I know, but I do"

Did you hear about the man with prostate cancer?

Yeah, I heard he was a total ;

Went to the doctor's for a prostate exam

I was worried because both his arms were on my shoulder.

I thought getting an erection during a prostate exam was inappropriate, but my Doctor told me it happens all the time, just ignore it.

I tried to but he kept rubbing it against my hip.

What is another name for your prostate exam?

Anal-aysis

The doctor: "It's perfectly okey to get a hard on whilst doing a prostate examination."

Patient :" but doctor I don't have a hard on?"

Doctor:"No, but I do"

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If being sexually active reduces the chance of developing prostate cancer, guess what I am doing tonight?

Developing cancer.

I’m really happy after my prostate exam...

....My doctor gave me the thumbs up!

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After my prostate exam...

I was at the front counter and wanted to pay by check. I asked my proctologist for a pen. He handed me a rectal thermometer.

"What's this?" I asked.

He said, "Dammit, some asshole has my pen!"

I gave myself a prostate exam earlier.

That's the last time I buy cheap toilet roll.

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I see all these prostate exam jokes...enjoy!

Prostate Exam

A man
goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as
a precaution.

When he gets there, he discovers the
urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

The female
doctor says, 'I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new
pro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When you're talking about testicles and prostates, remember...

...there's a vas deferens between them.

Prostate and apologies if its a repost

A man went though his Prostate exam with stoicism and thought good, thats done with, as the doctor walked out. Then the nurse walked in and muttered those three words no man wants to hear.



"Who was that?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between the scrotum and the prostate?

I don’t remember exactly, but I’m pretty sure there’s a vas deferens

Prostate checkup

I went for a checkup and got my prostate examined. I asked him if everything was okay and he said "feels fine to me, but what do I know i'm just your dentist"

I was getting a prostate examination when the doctor said "just so you know, this is a digital rectal exam".

"I understand. I know what is involved", I reply.

The doctor elaborates, "Just so you know, this exam will likely cause an erection".

I consider it for a moment and say, "That's fine, I've got it under control. It should be ok".

The doctor replies, "I wasn't talking about you."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The guy with 5 Penises gets a prostate exam every week....

The Doc wasn't happy he came again this time either.

I went to see my Doctor yesterday for a prostate examination...

There was nothing to worry about, he gave me the thumbs up.

I was getting a prostate exam and the doctor said "don't worry, it's perfectly normal to get an erection"

I just wish he'd put his pants back on

What do a printer and a prostate have in common?

Control pee

My doctor used two fingers during my prostate exam...

He said he needed a second opinion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 40 year old man went go to take a prostate exam...

As the nervous man walked into the doctor's office, the male doctor told him to "relax everything will be quick". The man of course was hesitant, but agreed. The doctor said "sir I will count to 3 and then I want you to breathe in at 3, then I will enter the rectum". The man again was hesitant, but ...

Prostate Exam

I went to the doctors for a prostate exam. He said “I should make you aware that it’s perfectly normal to get an erection during this type of examination.”
I said “But I haven’t got an erection.”
“No,” he said, “but I have.”

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Curing Prostate Cancer

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was on the dole in Australia but about to fly home to watch the Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey!" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he h...

I took a prostate exam at home, I think I failed...

I lost my pen

Why do men with prostate issues have issues stealing video game systems?

Because they have trouble taking a Wii.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Masturbation can help relieve depression and lead to a higher sense of self-esteem, as well as reduce the risk of prostate cancer."

And apparently that is not the correct answer to give when being questioned by the police as to why I was jacking off while riding the bus.

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What happens when Principal Skinner gets a prostate exam?

The doctor puts his Arm in Tamzarian.

Prostate examination [NSFW]

A guy goes into the medical center for a checkup. The nurse asks him if he's ever had a prostate exam before, and reassures him it's very straightforward and not to worry. Just go through into the next room, and the doctor will be with you shortly.
So he goes into the room and starts undressing. ...

Mike was undergoing his first prostate examination...

It was uncomfortable, but the doctor seemed like a professional. Still, Mike was nervous.

Doctor: It's normal to get an erection during a prostate exam

Mike: I don't have an erection

Doctor: I was talking about myself

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Natural Medicine For Guys.

1: Go up to a tree and take a piss, if your pee attracts ants, you have diabetes.

2: If it dries fast, your sodium is high.

3: If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.

4: If you forgot to unzip, Alzheimer.

5: If yo missed the tree, Parkinson's.

6:If you pe...

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