Doc: Well, on your right there's nothing left. And on your left there's nothing right.
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines
But CAT scan
My doctor scheduled me for a MRI.
He wants to see if I have claustrophobia.
Nobody really knows how an MRI actually works
It's a mister-I
Dogs can't read MRI's...
...but cats can.
Speaking of PET scans, did you guys hear about the new law they passed in Oregon where dogs can no longer operate MRI machines?
Apparently cats can.
Scientists recently have been doing some new studies with the mummy of Egypt's famous boy king.
With the aid of highly advanced mri scans they were able to ascertain he suffered from a major gastro intestinal disorder. Apparently he was lactose intolerant. So it turns out, me and the Egyptian kid got a toot in common
A man goes to a doctor because he always sees bugs that playing soccer through his eyes
Doctor: "So we need an MRI scan. We couid make you an appointment next sunday". The patient seems surprised: "Are you nuts? Sunday is the finals".
I'm getting an MRI tomorrow...
to find out whether or not I'm claustrophobic.
I went to the most nonchalent doctor for an MRI scan...
...after all the trouble of going in the machine he randomly decided to cancel the appointment before even turning it on.
Zero flux given.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
My ex called me today, begging me to look at an MRI she had recently
She said it would prove she had been acting crazy due to brain damage. Having been lied to so many times before I scoffed. Told her I wasn't having any of her psycho schematic bullshit
After years of research, scientists have concluded that dogs cannot use MRI machines.
Michael Jordan is wheeled into the hospital for emergency surgery.
He’s brought into the operation room and meets his doctors, but he notices something strange. In the corner, there’s a stage being set up. An anesthesiologist is repeating jokes to herself and wiping her brow. The MRI techs are handling a soundboard in the back. The head surgeon is tuning a guitar b...
As a vintner was moving a cask of sparkling wine,
he rolled his foot and injured his ankle. The pain was severe, so he decided to visit his orthopedist. The doctor examined his foot and ankle, took x-rays, and ran MRI scans.
"Sir, I can't find anything wrong with you. You can move your foot and ankle normally, and there's nothing showing up ...
Doctor, it hurts...
Says the patient with so much pain.
Patient: It hurts when I touch my head. Doctor: \*Takes a look at the head\*, \*Does MRI\* Well, what else?
Patient: It hurts when I touch my shoulders.
Doctor: \*Takes shoulder x-ray\* Hmmm, is there anything else?
Patient: It hur...
I asked for no music!
And they still played dubstep music during my MRI.
An elderly man was lying on his death bed
and in his bank account had 300,000 dollars. Being a man that didn't trust wills and didn't want the government to get their hands on the money, he decides to call over his three most trusted people. He calls over his priest, his lawyer, and his doctor and gives them each 100,000 dollars. He then...
Which makes a better Doctor? A cat or a dog?
of course its Cats! Dog's can't even run an MRI. But Cat's can!
Friend of mine had bad pain from arthritis in his knee. He ended up being one of the first to have knee replacement surgeries...
back in the day when they made them out of iron.
When he was a bit older, he had to have an MRI done, and they didn’t check that he had metal in his body. Once the machine was turned on, it started pulling the knee right out socket, and he started screaming in pain – “Oh the iron knee, the ...
The Time Travelling Soldier
When a soldier came to the clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. Sometime later, when the examination was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. The soldier remarked, “How long was I in there for?”
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
One day a man starts having terrible headaches. Everywhere he goes his head hurts, so he decides to go to the doctor to figure out the problem.
The doctor does a routine exam and can't figure out the source, so they decide to do a CAT scan and MRI. After the procedures, the doctor finds the ...
Trump gets very sick
So he goes to his doctor who runs a bunch of tests and gives Donald a clean bill of health saying it'll pass soon.
Two weeks later after not getting any better Trump goes back, this time vomiting profusely and has uncontrollable diarrhea. His Doctor runs a bunch of new tests and an MRI. On...