Dogs cant operate an MRI machine

but cat scan

My doctor told me I needed a brain MRI.

My wife assured me they wouldn't find anything.

Doctor, it hurts...

Says the patient with so much pain.

Patient: It hurts when I touch my head.
Doctor: \*Takes a look at the head\*, \*Does MRI\* Well, what else?

Patient: It hurts when I touch my shoulders.

Doctor: \*Takes shoulder x-ray\* Hmmm, is there anything else?

Patient: It hur...

Speaking of PET scans, did you guys hear about the new law they passed in Oregon where dogs can no longer operate MRI machines?

Apparently cats can.

President Trump goes to get a brain MRI

Trump: So, doc, what's wrong?

Doc: Well, on your right there's nothing left. And on your left there's nothing right.

I went to the most nonchalent doctor for an MRI scan...

...after all the trouble of going in the machine he randomly decided to cancel the appointment before even turning it on.

Zero flux given.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex called me today, begging me to look at an MRI she had recently

She said it would prove she had been acting crazy due to brain damage. Having been lied to so many times before I scoffed. Told her I wasn't having any of her psycho schematic bullshit

After years of research, scientists have concluded that dogs cannot use MRI machines.

But catscan.

I'm getting an MRI tomorrow...

to find out whether or not I'm claustrophobic.

I asked for no music!

And they still played dubstep music during my MRI.

Which makes a better Doctor? A cat or a dog?

of course its Cats! Dog's can't even run an MRI. But Cat's can!

Friend of mine had bad pain from arthritis in his knee. He ended up being one of the first to have knee replacement surgeries...

back in the day when they made them out of iron.

When he was a bit older, he had to have an MRI done, and they didn’t check that he had metal in his body. Once the machine was turned on, it started pulling the knee right out socket, and he started screaming in pain – “Oh the iron knee, the ...

The Time Travelling Soldier

When a soldier came to the clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. Sometime later, when the examination was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. The soldier remarked, “How long was I in there for?”

Trump gets very sick

So he goes to his doctor who runs a bunch of tests and gives Donald a clean bill of health saying it'll pass soon.

Two weeks later after not getting any better Trump goes back, this time vomiting profusely and has uncontrollable diarrhea. His Doctor runs a bunch of new tests and an MRI. On...

An elderly man was lying on his death bed

and in his bank account had 300,000 dollars. Being a man that didn't trust wills and didn't want the government to get their hands on the money, he decides to call over his three most trusted people. He calls over his priest, his lawyer, and his doctor and gives them each 100,000 dollars. He then...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Headaches

One day a man starts having terrible headaches. Everywhere he goes his head hurts, so he decides to go to the doctor to figure out the problem.

The doctor does a routine exam and can't figure out the source, so they decide to do a CAT scan and MRI. After the procedures, the doctor finds the ...

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