Went out for sushi last night

And a guy spilled a whole bottle of soy sauce on himself. Everyone laughed except me. Don‘t Kikkoman when he’s down

My cellphone got wet, so I put it in rice, but I don't think it's working.

The soy sauce just made things worse.

I asked my Mandalorian friend if his protein powder was soy, and he answered:

“This is the whey.”

I am a bilingual pulse

Soy bean

How does Curly Howard respond when asked if he wants Chinese food for dinner?

Why Soy-tainly!

What if soy milk

is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In Texas, close to the border with Mexico, there was a priest who hated Mexicans

That Sunday, after reading the Bible, the priest started his sermon:

"Today we'll reflect on Peter's lie about being a follower of Jesus. That night, Peter acted as a coward and a liar, just like these damn Mexicans we see every day in this town!"

The whole congregation started to shou...

Soy Milk

me to my vegan friend: hey what are you drinking?

vegan friend: soy milk

me: hi milk, what are you drinking?

A new study found

A new study found

that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits..

And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims..

When space travel is affordable I will leave the Milky Way galaxy and move to the Soy Milky Way.

You could say that I'm galactose intolerant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom...

Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.

The American steps up first. 'I love my country. Before I die I want to sing my national anthem one last time. The full versi...

Dad: "Son, what are you drinking" "Soy milk?"

Son: "Hola milk, soy es tu padre!"

What’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

I asked Alexa, what’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

Dark soy sauce is used in Chinese cooking to add colour and flavour to dishes. Light is an electromagnetic radiation within a certain portion of the electro magnetic spectrum.

Thanks Alexa - you’re not technically w...

A band of Superheroes walk into a Gluten-free, Soy-Free, non-GMO, organic, fat-free restraunt....

Just Ice was served.

I once asked a cheese maker if there was any way he could make me a block of cheddar using soy milk.

Hey said, "I'm sorry, but there's no whey."

If I have to hear any more jokes about soy sauce

I will Kikkoman!

Sorry, maybe I'll Shoyu a better joke Tamari.

I found out my husband got fired from his job today. In order to cheer him up I got him his favorite soy sauce.

He said to me

"Oh I see. Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"

why did the soy based meat substitute cross the road?

to prove it wasn't chicken

What's in common between the vibrator and soy

They both try to substitute meat

What did the Chinese restaurant do when they ran out of soy sauce?

They cooked like there was no tamari.

Jose looked at a bottle of soy sauce

He said, "Yes you are"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

LPT: if you are lost in japan, ask for soy sauce

...it will shoyu the way

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is soy and dildos similar?

They're both meat substitutes

What did the Spanish sauce say to the English sauce?

Soy sauce.

A Spaniard is walking through a grocery store

He spies a carton on the shelf labeled "Soy Milk"

He smiles to himself and says softly "yes you are"

Why did the hipster burn his lips?

He had to drink his soy latte before it was cool.

Damn girl, are you silk milk?

Because you are soy damn fine

Tofu joke

What does Mexican tofu say?
Soy beans!

Two friends named Monty and Jason went to a movie theater. Monty went ahead to grab the tickets leaving Jason waiting behind.

While queuing for the tickets, Monty chats up the gentleman in front of him, "Hey, I'm Monty," he says. The gentleman amicably replies, "Hola, soy Santiago."

Hearing the man's response, Monty immediately runs away and returns alarmed to his friend, shouting, "There's a Spanish in queue Jason"...

A man walks into a bar in Los Angeles, carrying a large wooden box

A man walks into a bar in Los Angeles, carrying a large wooden box.

The bartender is quite curious and asks the man what’s inside.

“I’ll show you if you get me a beer”, the man says.

The bartender accepts the deal and gets the guest a beer. He then opens the box and takes out a ...

How did Rowan Atkinson introduce himself when he performed in Spain?

Soy Bean

Two old men are having an argument over which one of them has lived their life to it's fullest

The first man, old, wrinkled and his scalp topped with few white strains of hair, proclaims:
>"I have only been able to achieve my proud age of 98 through a steadily upheld 6 hour workout routine on a daily basis. I may have lost some time, but it was completely worth it."

The second m...

You're ready

A man is outside with his dad after his wife has given birth. "I'm tired." he says. "Hi tired, I'm dad." the dad responds. "Well dad, soy milk." Teary eyed, the dad puts his hand on his son's shoulder and says "You're ready". "No..." The son says looking at his father "I'm dad" and he walks back int...

1/10 would not visit here again

Went to a restaurant downtown the other day. I ask the waiter for food, he said food only comes in sets of 10 dishes each. There are three main chefs there and the restaurant is peculiar because they all want to cook only their own set. So I decide to go to the restaurant once for each chef.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Mysterious Bottle of Ketchup

A man wants to throw a party, so he heads into a grocery store looking for supplies. He grabs a shopping cart and combs through the aisles, grabbing everything he could possibly need for the party.

He's about to head out and he does a final mental check of the things he needs. He realises he...

Spanish Dad Joke

A mexican father and son were at the mall and the son finally convinced his dad to try Chinese food.
"But it's so dry!" said the father.
"No it's not, they put lots of stuff on their plates," replied the son.
"Like what?" the father asked.
"Soy Sauce" he answered.
The fathe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest, a vegan and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar...

The priest says: “I’ll have a glass of water”.
The vegan says: “I want a glass of soy milk”.
The anti-vaxxer fucking dies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door.

He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"
<...

A Mexican goes into a Chinese restaurant

Looks at a bottle of soy sauce and says "yes, yes you are."

What does milk in Mexico say when meeting others?

Soy Milk

A man tells his wife he’s not feeling well.

When she comes home from the grocery store, she brings him his favorite soy sauce to cheer him up. He says “Oh, I see, Kikkoman when he’s down”.

My Hispanic friend in the Navy is allergic to tofu

He’s a no soy marinero

What music do vegan goths listen to?

Soy division

A Bilingual mexican dad was getting ready for work...

...and saw his son eating some cereal, but instead of milk there was a strange milk-like substance that smelled funny.

Dad: "what've you got there, son?"

Son: "cereal with soy milk."

Dad: "Hola Milk, soy tu padre!"

How does pizza sauce introduce itself at a fiesta?

Yo no soy marinara

My father teaches biology and Spanish..

Him: Ok, who can tell me what these are?

Me: (Raises hand) Soy Beans!

Him: Much gusto, Beans! Me llamo Dad.

Riddle me this

Which does not belong:

* Nipple clamps
* Soy
* Vibrator


Answer:
The nipple clamps, the other two are meat substitutes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what did the black kid get on his math test?

barbecue sauce!!


edit: hit save too early - this one works plenty of ways...

What did the white kid get on his test? an A

What did the black kid get? an A

What did the asian kid get? soy sauce!

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