Soy Sauce

Translation: I am Sauce

When space travel is affordable I will leave the Milky Way galaxy and move to the Soy Milky Way.

You could say that I'm galactose intolerant.

A man walks into a bar in Los Angeles, carrying a large wooden box

A man walks into a bar in Los Angeles, carrying a large wooden box.

The bartender is quite curious and asks the man what’s inside.

“I’ll show you if you get me a beer”, the man says.

The bartender accepts the deal and gets the guest a beer. He then opens the box and takes out a ...

A father is making breakfast for his son:

Dad: What would you like to drink?

Son: Soy milk

Dad: Hola milk, soy padre

Soy milk.

Soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish.

What’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

I asked Alexa, what’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

Dark soy sauce is used in Chinese cooking to add colour and flavour to dishes. Light is an electromagnetic radiation within a certain portion of the electro magnetic spectrum.

Thanks Alexa - you’re not technically w...

Soy Milk

me to my vegan friend: hey what are you drinking?

vegan friend: soy milk

me: hi milk, what are you drinking?

I once asked a cheese maker if there was any way he could make me a block of cheddar using soy milk.

Hey said, "I'm sorry, but there's no whey."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Mysterious Bottle of Ketchup

A man wants to throw a party, so he heads into a grocery store looking for supplies. He grabs a shopping cart and combs through the aisles, grabbing everything he could possibly need for the party.

He's about to head out and he does a final mental check of the things he needs. He realises he...

My Hispanic friend in the Navy is allergic to tofu

He’s a no soy marinero

Why is soy sauce forbidden in fights?

‘Cause you should never Kikkoman when he’s down.

A Mexican goes into a Chinese restaurant

Looks at a bottle of soy sauce and says "yes, yes you are."

Two friends named Monty and Jason went to a movie theater. Monty went ahead to grab the tickets leaving Jason waiting behind.

While queuing for the tickets, Monty chats up the gentleman in front of him, "Hey, I'm Monty," he says. The gentleman amicably replies, "Hola, soy Santiago."

Hearing the man's response, Monty immediately runs away and returns alarmed to his friend, shouting, "There's a Spanish in queue Jason"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest, a vegan and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar...

The priest says: “I’ll have a glass of water”.
The vegan says: “I want a glass of soy milk”.
The anti-vaxxer fucking dies.

Two old men are having an argument over which one of them has lived their life to it's fullest

The first man, old, wrinkled and his scalp topped with few white strains of hair, proclaims:
>"I have only been able to achieve my proud age of 98 through a steadily upheld 6 hour workout routine on a daily basis. I may have lost some time, but it was completely worth it."

The second m...

A Spaniard is walking through a grocery store

He spies a carton on the shelf labeled "Soy Milk"

He smiles to himself and says softly "yes you are"

A man tells his wife he’s not feeling well.

When she comes home from the grocery store, she brings him his favorite soy sauce to cheer him up. He says “Oh, I see, Kikkoman when he’s down”.

Soy ice cream

Because how else would vegans know what ice cream doesn't taste like?

What does milk in Mexico say when meeting others?

Soy Milk

A band of Superheroes walk into a Gluten-free, Soy-Free, non-GMO, organic, fat-free restraunt....

Just Ice was served.

Brother asked me if the our soy sauce was low sodium.

I said NA.

What music do vegan goths listen to?

Soy division

If I have to hear any more jokes about soy sauce

I will Kikkoman!

Sorry, maybe I'll Shoyu a better joke Tamari.

A Spanish teacher is at the grocery store-

-and as he's shopping he sees a sign exclaiming "Soy milk!"

So he stops and says, "Hola milk! Soy Ricardo!"

You're ready

A man is outside with his dad after his wife has given birth. "I'm tired." he says. "Hi tired, I'm dad." the dad responds. "Well dad, soy milk." Teary eyed, the dad puts his hand on his son's shoulder and says "You're ready". "No..." The son says looking at his father "I'm dad" and he walks back int...

I found out my husband got fired from his job today. In order to cheer him up I got him his favorite soy sauce.

He said to me

"Oh I see. Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"

What did Senor Leche Gato say when the barista asked for his name and whether he wanted anything mixed into his coffee?

“Soy Milk.”

why did the soy based meat substitute cross the road?

to prove it wasn't chicken

1/10 would not visit here again

Went to a restaurant downtown the other day. I ask the waiter for food, he said food only comes in sets of 10 dishes each. There are three main chefs there and the restaurant is peculiar because they all want to cook only their own set. So I decide to go to the restaurant once for each chef.

...

How does pizza sauce introduce itself at a fiesta?

Yo no soy marinara

My father teaches biology and Spanish..

Him: Ok, who can tell me what these are?

Me: (Raises hand) Soy Beans!

Him: Much gusto, Beans! Me llamo Dad.

A man told me his strength gains came from eating soy products.

After he said this I wasn't sure whether I thought more of him, or lecithin.

How does a spanish condiment identify itself?

Soy sauce

My wife gave me some bad news today

"But," she said, "I bought your favorite soy sauce to help cheer you up."

"Great," I said. "Just Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"

I'm very soy for that pun. I'll just wok away now.

What's in common between the vibrator and soy

They both try to substitute meat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

LPT: if you are lost in japan, ask for soy sauce

...it will shoyu the way

Spanish Dad Joke

A mexican father and son were at the mall and the son finally convinced his dad to try Chinese food.
"But it's so dry!" said the father.
"No it's not, they put lots of stuff on their plates," replied the son.
"Like what?" the father asked.
"Soy Sauce" he answered.
The fathe...

A Bilingual mexican dad was getting ready for work...

...and saw his son eating some cereal, but instead of milk there was a strange milk-like substance that smelled funny.

Dad: "what've you got there, son?"

Son: "cereal with soy milk."

Dad: "Hola Milk, soy tu padre!"

-What are you drinking, son?

-Soy milk.

-Hola milk, soy tu padre.

Edit : Removed the "es" that was bothering everyone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door.

He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what did the black kid get on his math test?

barbecue sauce!!


edit: hit save too early - this one works plenty of ways...

What did the white kid get on his test? an A

What did the black kid get? an A

What did the asian kid get? soy sauce!

Riddle me this

Which does not belong:

* Nipple clamps
* Soy
* Vibrator


Answer:
The nipple clamps, the other two are meat substitutes.

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