What do you get when you put coffee beans in the ground?

Ground coffee

What does a coffee bean tell when he insults another coffee bean

'' You just got ROASTED ''

Why did the coffee bean hide in the tree?

He heard he was going to be grounded.

Did you hear about the coffee bean that committed murder?

It was sentenced to death by decaffeination.

Recently a robber stole 300 cups worth of coffee beans

How does he sleep at night.

The Coffee Bean Trial.

There was a man who was being tried for tresspassing on a coffee plantation. He trampled dozens of pounds of coffee beans and plants on his way through. Looking at charges of tens of thousands of dollars, there was no way he could pay all of it, he would be ruined. As a last ditch effort, his lawyer...

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder

(Thanks, Ellen)

Why were the coffee beans upset?

Because they were grounded.... Or black I am not sure.

A hot mug of divorce

My wife said yesterday that she's almost out of coffee beans. I said "Well I guess that's it, instant coffee for you from here on out."

She asked me "How about divorce from here on out"?

I said "C'MON, that's what you're going to cite as grounds for divorce?"

A Women enters a grocery store

"What are these round green things back there?" she asks the cashier

"Those are apples ma'am" he responds

"Ok, can I have a kilo... ...and pack only one per bag please"

next the women walks up to another shelf and aks:

"What are those orange things i am looking at here?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a 7-eleven coffee cup on the table in the break room.

I was curious, so I looked on the back of the cup. It said that the coffee beans were mountain-grown in the world's finest coffee-growing regions and were inspected for premium quality five times prior to being roasted. I snuck a sip of the coffee and thought, "Wow. That's impressive."

Becau...

Signs you drink too much coffee

- You answer the door before people knock.

- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

- You ski uphill.

- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

- You lick your coffeepot clean.

- You're the employee of ...

Coffee drinking trio

3 friends are bragging about their coffee drinking habits.

1st: I take it dark, thick and black. It's so strong, the spoon stands upright in my cup when I stir it.

2nd: big deal, at least you use a cup. I pour it directly from the kettle into my mouth.

3rd: yeah? We'll I don't ...

Doctor, my girlfriend grinds her teeth while sleeping.

Dr: Put some coffee beans in her mouth and set the alarm for 7:30am

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