Who else thinks it's time we called Sesame Street out for what it really is?

Show of hands

What kind of cake do you get on Sesame Street?

A Bert-day cake!

I'm surprised Metallica hasn't been on Sesame Street,

After all they are the Master of Puppets.

Why wouldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?

Because he was on a roll...

Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar.

Rumor has it this one won a "best joke" contest

A man gets a job driving the Sesame Street school bus.

It's his first day...

At stop number one, a husky young girl gets on. "I'm Patty," she says.

Stop number two sees a chubby young lady. "Hi, Patty!" She calls. "Hi, Patty!" says the first girl.

At the next, a mother...

I heard Oscar the Grouch was getting kicked off of Sesame Street.

Apparently he was trash talking the other cast members behind their backs.

What do you call a pirate who likes to read?

A book-aneer.

Sorry. Source was Sesame Street.

There's only one vampire on Sesame Street...

At least, only one that counts.

Word on the sesame street is...

The cookie monster's a real macadamia nut.

What happens if you mix sesame street and Star Wars?

Cookie Wookies.
X-post /r/showerthoughts

Why couldn't Big Bird hang out with the sesame street gang?

Because he was ostrich-sized...

A terrorist starts a hostage situation on Sesame Street

The terrorist is on the phone with the hostage negotiator, who asks him how many hostages the terrorist has.

The terrorist says: "I gotta count".

The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years

But I finished it in 18 months

TIL that Bees are highly cooperative, social, productive and even have their own effective healthcare. They also have a brain the size of a sesame seed.

I also learned that us humans have a very developed sense of language.

Covfefe.

Her: Who's your favourite Muppet Show character?

Me: The vampire

Her: That's Sesame Street – he doesn't count

Me: I can assure you that he does

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mom brings her son to the doctor because of his diet

Mom: please help doctor. He’s such a picky eater!

Doctor: what are his favorite foods?

Mom: he only eats one thing: rump roast steak between two sesame buns

The doctor pauses to think then says, “Yes I’ve seen this before...sounds like Ass Burgers.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sesame Street Bus

A guy gets a job as a city bus driver. After going over his route, his supervisor tells him about the buses advertisement. "This week, it's a sesame street ad. Do not let these ads get damaged as you make your way through the city. We make a lot of money from these companies and we want it to look g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of doctors in a psychiatric ward wanted to look for an improvement in the mental stability of their patients, so they devised an experiment. A doctor put 5 patients in one room.

While in the room, this doctor went to the wall and drew a door (with a door knob and a keyhole). He told the 5 patients in the room to figure out how to open the door.



1st patient waved at the doctors, and tried to open the painted door.

2nd patient kept shouting at the door "...

A group of blondes walk into a bar,

all of them chanting "Twenty-four days! Twenty-four days!" They got a table and continued to yell "Twenty-four days! Twenty-four days!" They started hooting and high-fiving each other as well. Intrigued, the bartender walks over to the table and sees a finished child's puzzle with Sesame Street's El...

A blind man enters a bakery

A blind man enters a bakery and orders fifty sesame seed buns, the baker starts putting them in a bag and asks the blind man ‘that’s a lot of bread, are you giving a party or something?’ ‘Oh no,’ replies the blind man, ‘I’m going on holiday, and I want to read them on the plane’

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can you tell Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

He’s the one with the sesame seed buns.

A couple that ran a Chinese restaurant were in bed...

... when the husband turned to his wife and said "do you want to try 69?" And the wife replied, "why do you want sesame chicken now?"

How do you find Ronald McDonald in a room full of naked clowns?

The Sesame Seeds on his buns.

(According to my father this is the first joke I ever told, around 5yo.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was out of work...

A man was out of work, and he was combing through the want ads. He saw that a school was looking for a bus driver, so he called and was asked to come for an interview. He got the job, and was surprised when he went out and found that the bus was garishly painted with Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave starts a new job as Bus Driver

Dave was starting a new job as a bus driver. He arrived at the bus depot and they told him he would be driving a bus with a "Sesame Street" advertisement on the side. He found this kind of amusing, and started his shift.

At the first stop, he picked up his first passenger. It was a fat woman....

So Jan gets a job driving a school bus.

The first day of school, Jan is given the bus she's to drive. She's driving an elementary-school route, so the inside of the bus has been decked out with Sesame Street characters; muppets pasted on every wall. Jan shrugs and gets started on her route.

The first kid is a super fat little girl...

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