I heard Oscar the Grouch was getting kicked off of Sesame Street.

Apparently he was trash talking the other cast members behind their backs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mom brings her son to the doctor because of his diet

Mom: please help doctor. He’s such a picky eater!

Doctor: what are his favorite foods?

Mom: he only eats one thing: rump roast steak between two sesame buns

The doctor pauses to think then says, “Yes I’ve seen this before...sounds like Ass Burgers.”

Her: Who's your favourite Muppet Show character?

Me: The vampire

Her: That's Sesame Street – he doesn't count

Me: I can assure you that he does

A man walks into a deli

A man walks into a deli with his pet snake. The cashier looks at him, shocked.

She says, “Wow! What kind if snake is that? It’s beautiful!” The man replies, with pride, “It’s an anaconda, straight from Bolivia!”

The cashier begins the mans order. “What can I get you?”, she asks.
...

There's only one vampire on Sesame Street...

At least, only one that counts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of doctors in a psychiatric ward wanted to look for an improvement in the mental stability of their patients, so they devised an experiment. A doctor put 5 patients in one room.

While in the room, this doctor went to the wall and drew a door (with a door knob and a keyhole). He told the 5 patients in the room to figure out how to open the door.



1st patient waved at the doctors, and tried to open the painted door.

2nd patient kept shouting at the door "...

Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar

im so sorry

What's the difference between Sesame Street and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

One hot summer day on Sesame Street, Bert and Ernie are sitting on the stoop outside their apartment.

Bert turns to Ernie and says, _"Want to go get some ice cream?"_

Ernie replies, _"Sure Bert."_

Why couldn't Big Bird hang out with the sesame street gang?

Because he was ostrich-sized...

What happens if you mix sesame street and Star Wars?

Cookie Wookies.
X-post /r/showerthoughts

2 Cops.

Cop 1: Hey, we have a B&E case, let's go investigate.

Cop 2: *GAAAAASSP* Bert & Ernie?! My 2nd grade best friend shaved his head once and got to meet them. I never saw him again so I shaved my head hoping that I could live at Sesame Street too.

Cop 1: *facepalms* He was a Make-...

The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years

But I finished it in 18 months

TIL that Bees are highly cooperative, social, productive and even have their own effective healthcare. They also have a brain the size of a sesame seed.

I also learned that us humans have a very developed sense of language.

Covfefe.

A group of blondes walk into a bar,

all of them chanting "Twenty-four days! Twenty-four days!" They got a table and continued to yell "Twenty-four days! Twenty-four days!" They started hooting and high-fiving each other as well. Intrigued, the bartender walks over to the table and sees a finished child's puzzle with Sesame Street's El...

A blind man enters a bakery

A blind man enters a bakery and orders fifty sesame seed buns, the baker starts putting them in a bag and asks the blind man ‘that’s a lot of bread, are you giving a party or something?’ ‘Oh no,’ replies the blind man, ‘I’m going on holiday, and I want to read them on the plane’

How can you tell Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

He’s the one with the sesame seed buns.

How do you find Ronald McDonald in a room full of naked clowns?

The Sesame Seeds on his buns.

(According to my father this is the first joke I ever told, around 5yo.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sesame Street Bus

A guy gets a job as a city bus driver. After going over his route, his supervisor tells him about the buses advertisement. "This week, it's a sesame street ad. Do not let these ads get damaged as you make your way through the city. We make a lot of money from these companies and we want it to look g...

A couple that ran a Chinese restaurant were in bed...

... when the husband turned to his wife and said "do you want to try 69?" And the wife replied, "why do you want sesame chicken now?"

There was a certain bus driver who hated his job, and he figured he was through. He went up to the personnel office to resign.

He said "I'm quitting this job, and there's nothing you can do to make me stay!" The personnel manager replied, "Please, let's not be hasty. You are one of our most dependable drivers. We really hate to lose you. What problems are you experiencing?" The driver vented his frustrations to the personne...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was out of work...

A man was out of work, and he was combing through the want ads. He saw that a school was looking for a bus driver, so he called and was asked to come for an interview. He got the job, and was surprised when he went out and found that the bus was garishly painted with Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, and ...

So Jan gets a job driving a school bus.

The first day of school, Jan is given the bus she's to drive. She's driving an elementary-school route, so the inside of the bus has been decked out with Sesame Street characters; muppets pasted on every wall. Jan shrugs and gets started on her route.

The first kid is a super fat little girl...

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