Bald Eagle Jokes - 26 Hilarious Bald Eagle Jokes

A hunter kills and eats a bald eagle, and is arrested for violating the Endangered Species Act. He pleads guilty, and throws himself on the mercy of the court.

"Your Honor," the hunter said, "I had no idea that it was illegal to kill and eat a bald eagle. If you let me go, I'll never do it again."

"You've committed a very serious crime," the judge replies. "But you clearly weren't aware of the law, so I'm willing to overlook it this one time. How...

Two Bald Eagles

A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.

He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.

"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.

"Oh this?"...

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A guy is caught by a ranger eating a Bald Eagle...

A guy is caught by a ranger eating a Bald Eagle and is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trial, the conversation went something like this:

Judge: "Do you know that eating a Bald Eagle is a federal offense?"

Man: "Yes, I did. But if you let me argue my case, I'll...

A man is on trial for killing and eating a spotted owl.

He tells the judge, "I'm sorry it was endangered, but I had been lost in the woods for five days and I was starving." The judge deliberates a while and dismisses the case. Before the man leaves the judge whispers, "Between you and me, how did it taste?" The man replies, "It was sort of like a cross ...

I will one day have a pet bald eagle

Name it Freedom. Teach it to ring a bell when it wants fish, so I can let Freedom ring.

I'll show myself to the door.

How Can You Identify a Bald Eagle?

All his feathers are combed to one side

Randomly came up with this joke laying in bed one night - What do you call a bald eagle with the flu that migrates from Mexico to the US?

An ill eagle immigrant...

This park ranger is doing his rounds in the woods

When he stumbles upon a guy sitting by a fire, his rifle leaning against a tree, roasting a bald eagle. The ranger immediately arrests the guy and drag him to his cruiser. Eventually the case goes to court, the judge is outraged and asks if he has anything to say for himself before going to jail. Th...

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.

Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When Mick swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.

A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.

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Dave wanted to send a letter to his girlfriend.. So he goes to the nearby market to buy an envelope. Just as he is about to enter the store, a man rushes out the market, furious,yelling and swearing.

Dave didn't want to get in the mans way and just lets him pass. He enters the store and finds the cashier, a young lady, crying.

"Is everything alright? Did that man hurt you?", Dave asked.

"No no, everything is alright.", she says as she wipes her tears. "How can i help you?"

"...

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A park ranger catches a hunter in the act of eating a spotted owl. Feathers and bones surround his campfire.

The ranger says, "The spotted owl is a highly endangered species. Killing one is a federal crime."

The man says, "Yes, I admit that I killed and ate that owl. However, in my defense, I was lost in the wilderness for three days and frankly I was starving. The bird flew directly at me; I raised...

I like bald eagles.

They taste almost just like baby seals.

Two guys are out hunting deer.

The first guy says "Did you see that?"

“No" the second guy says.

“Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead.”

“Oh.”

A couple of minutes later, the first guy says "Did you see that?"

“See what?"

“Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill,...

Why was the bird wearing a wig?

Because it was a bald eagle!

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A Native American chief was teaching his son the history of their tribe.

“Father, how do we get our names?” asked the boy.

“Well son, you see, in our culture we are named in honor of the first ‘spirited ones’ our mothers see when the child is delivered.” explained the Chief.

“My father, Soaring Eagle was named for the great bald eagle that circled outside ...

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A hiker gets lost in the woods...

A hiker gets lost in the woods and spends the next two days wandering around with no food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle on a ledge, hits it with a big rock, and begins eating it raw.

A park ranger stumbles on the scene and arrests the hiker for killing an endangered species.

In court...

A woman has a failing marriage, and she feels bad about it.

Her husband won't listen to her or acknowledge her, or anything. All he does is sit on the couch watching football and waiting for meals. The woman decides to go to the pet store to find a pet.

At the store, she sees all sorts of animals, such as fish, dogs, cats, parrots, and even a horse. S...

Endangered meal

One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers ha...

I built the most American guitar ever

Made completely out of mirror polished, stainless steel from the World Trade Center in the shape of a bald eagle carrying a rifle.

Only has one octave, but I enjoy playing it, from C to shining C.

A man is arrested for killing a condor

A man is arrested for killing an endangered condor. Before the judge, the man says, "Your honor, I only killed the condor to feed my hungry family."

The judge says, "Well, I can't charge a man for feeding his family. And I'm curious so I'll let you off with a warning if you answer one questio...

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So the Judge says "OK, I see that circumstance and duress made you eat the endangered spotted owl. NOT guilty." Then he leans over and whispers "Between you and me, what does a spotted owl actually taste like?"

The accused says "A cross between a bald eagle and an Amazon Imperial Parrot."

A hillbilly is in Florida and has a sea turtle hanging up on a fishing pole.

The game warden approaches on his boat and asked, "Are you gonna release that?"
The hillbilly then replies,"No, they taste good."
"Oh really, how do they taste?"
"Somewhere between bald eagle and manatee."

If you like a good Sven and Ole joke. . .

Sven recently got promoted to Game Warden for his Minnesota district and was watching a beautiful flock of loon flying overhead. Suddenly, a shot rang out and one of the loon fell to the ground.

Sven, cursing, drove his truck over to where it fell, only to see his lifelong friend, Ole, picki...

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So this golfer goes to confession and tells the priest, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

The priest says, "Tell me your transgressions, my son."

"Well," the guy says, "I was on the 5th hole last week and I hate to say it but I cursed."

"What happened, my son?" the priest asks.

"So I teed it up and I hit the ball about 40 yards past the hole..."

"And you swore...

Wild Condor

A group of bird watchers is out in the woods and sees a Wild Condor flying in the sky. Everybody is elbowing each other, pointing at the bird and focusing their binoculars. Right about then... a loud gun shot is heard and the bird falls out of the sky. The bird watchers all go running to where th...

There was once a homeless man in a small town

Everybody knew him, everybody liked him, he never bothered anybody, until one day someone saw him down by the beach catching an osprey and cooking it up, and they called the cops. The cops arrived as he was finishing his meal, telling him "ospreys are protected animals around here. Sorry, but we got...

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