UPJOKE
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Robin turned and shouted, "The Batmobile won’t start!" Batman growled, "Check the battery!" Puzzled, Robin wondered...

"What’s a tery?"

Batman & Robin

Batman & Robin have had a bad day fighting crime.

Batman says to Robin ‘Go relax, have a bath’.

Robin says ‘What’s a h?’

Robin said to Batman...

"Batman, why do you wear dark colors?"

"Easy Robin, it makes me less likely to be shot"

"Then why do I wear bright colors?"

"It also makes me less likely to be shot."

I have invented microscopic robots that can form the face of Robin Williams.

I call them "nanu-nanubots."

Batman and Robin get ready for patrol

Batman: You ready Robin?

Robin: I'm not sure about this costume Batman. It's so bright and red. And why do I have to wear a silly yellow cape?

Batman: Well, we're superheroes Robin. We got to dress the part.

Robin: I'm still not sure about this Batman. I mean, you aren't dressed...

I got a pet owl named Robin.

Robin Hoo-d.

What happened to Batman and Robin when a herd of elephants trampled over them ?

They became Flatman and Ribbon...

Robin hood gave a poor man a bag of gold

“Here, poor man,” Robin hood smiled. “Take this bag of gold, I took it from a rich man.”

“Thank you so much!” The man said as he got a little teary. “Now I’m rich!”

Robin hood turned back to the man.

“You’re what?”

How is Oedipus like Robin Hood?

He's the prince of Thebes.

if a Marxist rewrote the tale of Robin of Locksley, he would title it...

Little Red Robin Hood.

Robin Hood's Successor

It had been many years since Robin Hood began his quest of "stealing from the rich and giving to the poor". By now he was growing old and tired, and wanted to find someone who could carry on his legacy and lead a new band of Merry Men.

He searched through many villages for someone he could de...

Without a doubt, Robin Williams is great.

Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

Batman : You idiot Robin. You don't have to pee in the hall. There is a bathroom you stupid.

Robin : Sorry. What is a hroom.?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Robin Barron lets the Cat ouf of the Bag

The Robin Barron raises a motion to prohibiting the riff raff hunting worms.

Now the cat is out of the bag.

Hunger drives the Pigeonlatariate to call for state regulation of the bird feeder.

The Black Birdgeosisie pontificate on the mobs of raucous Gold Pinchers fouling up the w...

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Robin Hood was dying

Robin Hood was dying. He had lived a great many years, and now he was old, grey, and bedridden. He put out messages for all his friends to see him; and so at the appointed hour, Maid Marian, Little John, Friar Tuck, and the rest of the Merry Men gathered in his bedchamber.

"Maid Marian, my l...

Why did the blonde make her password "BatmanRobinBatgirlJokerHarelyIvyOslo"?

Because the rules said it needed to contain at least 6 characters and include at least 1 capital!

Batman gets a call from Robin, who was having trouble with the car

"Batman, I can't get the Batmobile to start! I turn the Batkey, press the Batpedal, but nothing!"

Batman thinks a moment before asking "Did you check the battery?"

There are a few seconds of silence before Robin asks "What's a tery?"

Jason Todd walks into a bar, where the Joker is behind the counter. He says "Jason, you know I can't serve Robins here"

Jason asks "Why?" and Joker replies "this is a CROW bar!"



Then he beats him to death.

Batman and robin after a party

When both of them get to the batmobile,
Batman tells robin that he is too drunk to drive. Robin, says fine I'll drive..

Robin gets sets and starts driving. Before he gets in the highway heading to cave he shifts gears back and forward, stopping at a few lights then ,In the highway he c...

Memories - Robin Williams Told this Originally

I was moving to California when I stopped at one of those old Indian trading posts somewhere in the desert.

One of the attractions there was an Native American with a sign beside him that read "this man has greatest memory in the world $5 per question" So I paid my $5 and asked him a questio...

What's he difference between Robin Hood and Robinhood?

Robin Hood is apt to steal while Robinhood is app to steal.

I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor!

A poor peasant is traveling the woody paths of Barnsdale, when a hooded man walks up to him.

Robin Hood: **"HALT!"**

**"*****I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor, now give me all your money!"***

Peasant: *"I have nothing, I've been hungry for years you see"*...

Where does Swiss cheese come from, Robin?

Robin: Holey cows, Batman!

My name's Robin

Robin Dakarma

That's right, put it in the bag.

Three men are challenging each other's aim by shooting an apple on someone's head.

The first man fired his pistol 20 meters away, hits the apple.

"I'm James Bond." He said.

The second man shot an arrow 30 meters away, hits the apple.

"I'm Robin Hood." He said.

The third threw a boomerang 40 meters away, hits the forehead of that person.

"I'm sorr...

This is for Robin Williams

A man goes to see a doctor. Doctor asks what seems to be the trouble. The man says, "Doc, I'm depressed. Simply, I can't sleep sometimes, I can't eat, I feel down and irritable most days. I just can't feel 'happy.'"

The Doctor says, "I've got the perfect fix for you. In town tonight is the g...

Robin Hood doesn't always have to steal from the rich and give to the poor...

...it sherwood help though.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It has actually been confirmed in a recent Batman comic that Robin's dick has no color at all.

Dick gray, son!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Joker send Harley Quinn A Photo of Robin?

She asked him for a dick pic.

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Robin Hucking

I once knew a guy named Robin. Robin Hucking. Yes, Robin. He hated his name. Everyone called him Hucking, or Huck.



Great guy. Best friend I ever had. Right up to the day he died.



Hucking did have one problem. He was a high rise construction worker with a bad case of acr...

A Robin walks into a crowbar.

Like 30 or 40 times

-The Joker

A daddy hedgehog is teaching his sons how to cross a road

He explains 'if you see a car coming, go to the middle and curl up in a ball, it will pass right over you.' He then demonstrates, walking across the road and, when a car comes, curling up into a ball and letting it pass safely over the top, and then heading to the other side.

He then tells th...

Winnie-the-Pooh is on a Picnic with Christopher Robin, Piglet and Eeyore. Christopher Robin says “Pooh, you haven’t touched any food yet. What gives?”

Pooh: “I’m stuffed”

Wonder Woman walks in on Batman and Robin's training session

Batman asks "Have I ever shown you how to do a side-kick?"

Wonder Woman shouts "BATMAN! THAT IS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL!!"

Robin Williams, circa 1980

First cannibal complains, "I hate my mother-in-Law."

Second cannibal replies, "Ehh. Just eat the noodles."

Robin walks into the garage in the bat cave to test drive the batmobile.

He jumps into the batmobile and tries to get it started but it wont work.
So Robin goes to find batman to help him.
Robin explains to batman that the batmobile isn't working.
"Check the battery" says batman.
"Who is tery?" Robin says confused.

Two robins stuffed themselves with worms until they were too fat to fly.

Since the birds couldn’t go anywhere, they decided to just sit and soak up the sun.

Along came a cat, and it ate them.

Licking its paws, the cat said, “I just love baskin’ robins!”
(Apparently yesterday's joke was no good, but I like this one)

If Batman wears kevlar armor and a bulletproof cape, why does Robin have to wear a bright-colored spandex outfit?

For the same reason: Batman doesn't like getting shot.

I went to a costume party last night and a guy dressed as Robin Hood said to me "Tally-Ho!"

I looked around and said "Seven, but I think most are just costumes".

What does Robin Hood shout back as he runs away after a mugging?

"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Robin Hood goes out on another mission

Same old same old, steal from the rich, give to the poor.

On this particular run he decides to go to a new town and find the wealthiest man to rob.

Being that he didn’t know anybody, he asked a bum he met on the road who the richest man in town was.

After learning this, Robin Ho...

Robin says to Batman:

- Batman, batremote to battv doesn't work!
- Did you check batteries?
- What are teries?

One day, Robin Hood visits a poor beggar

Robin gives the beggar a fair amount of coins stolen from a wealthy merchant and was about to leave when the beggar cried out, "I'm rich!"

Robin Hood paused, turned around slowly, and said, "Not for long, you aren't."

Who knew what blondes know?

It was a typical night of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire:

Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far – $500,000 and one lifeline left — phone a friend.”

“The next question will give you the top prize of $1 million dollars,
if you get it right. But if you get it wrong, you will dr...

How does Robin Williams go thrift shopping?

Good Will Hunting

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Batman and Robin walk in on two priests having anal sex.

Robin exclaims, "Holy fucking shit, Batman!"

I called Robinhood customer support to ask what I should do with my GME shares.

They said: “PLEASE HOLD.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three women were getting together for brunch and started bragging about their husbands.

"MY husband, " says the first " just took me on a vacation to France'" and she smiled while her friends congratulated her for her good fortune.

"Well my husband just bought me a new Lexus." says the second, receiving her accolades.

"Well. I don't know if it's a big deal or not," starts...

Robin Hood went to see a doctor...

...he was diagnosed with Menintightis.

Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house?

They don't like rich people in Robin's hood

A group of women made a religion about Robin Hood

They were called Menintights

I woke up this morning and saw two birds sitting in the sun in my backyard, eating ice cream.

They were Basking Robins.

What's Robin Hood's least favourite font?

The Serif of Nottingham

A German talk show host once asked Robin Williams why he thought there wasn't much comedy in Germany

"Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?" he replied.

"No."

Yesterday, when I rode through Nottingham Forest, I witnessed a bizarre scene: Robin Hood was in the middle of a sandwich with Richard Lionheart and a homeless girl.

Surprised, I stopped and shouted "What are you doing?"


And Robin Hood shouted back: "Can't you see that? I take it from Rich and give it to the poor."

My friends and I are all dressing as different Robin Williams characters at a Comic Con this weekend...

We're the Suicide Squad!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If the 1st Robin died, what would Batman have in common with a man with erectile dysfunction?

A limp dick.

I'd like to see Batman and Robin fight crime in places that need it the most.

"Hey Batman!"
"Yeah, Robin?"
"Didn't we park the Batmobile here?"

Some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish

Of course he was Jewish 30 years old single

living with his parents,

working in his father's business,

his mother thought he was gods gift

Give it up oh course he was Jewish

- Robin Williams obm

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is it too soon for a Robin Williams Joke?

It's been a few weeks, so I think the waters are safe for this joke I told my cousin:


David Carradine and Robin Williams are in heaven, Carradine looks at Williams and says, "what do you mean you weren't jerking off?"

What do you call Legolas, Robin Hood, and Katniss Everdeen when they’re leaving?

Dep-archers

I had an injection to prevent me from becoming Robin Hood.

Yeah, it was the MenInTightus Jab.

Batman giving his Batmobile to robin

Batman: Robin, im giving you my Batmobile.


Robin: aww really batman? thanks!


Batman: yes, its 555-522-8626

Two robins were sitting in a tree.

"I'm really hungry", said the first one.

"Me too," said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."

They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate and ate 'til they could eat no more. "I'm so full I don't think I can fly bac...

Did you hear about Robin Leach's new show?

Afterlifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Robin Williams joke from Bicentennial Man

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

Batman and Robin are camping in the desert ...

Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep. Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Robin replies, " I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asks Batman. Robin ponders for a...

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