Han and Yoda are flying in the Millennium Falcon

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Han asks.

"Off course we are. " Yoda replies.

Happy may 4th

What system was used to keep track of the Millennium Falcon's Library?

The Chewie-decimal system

What first tipped Darth Vader off about the Millennium Falcon?

He found their lack of freight disturbing

^^May ^^the ^^Fourth ^^be ^^with ^^you!

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

Apparently Chewbacca crashed the Millennium Falcon the first time he flew it.

It was a typical Wookie mistake.

I walked into a bar and saw this girl wearing a Falcons jersey.

I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".

"Is that your real name?", she asked.

I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."

Saw a falcon eating avocado toast.

Guess it's a millennial falcon.

I went to the Atlanta Falcons locker room to get some change for a dollar...

But they only gave me 3 quarters.

Elon Musk is reported to have written a short joke on his Falcon Heavy rocket.

I guess the real joke is in the comets.

The Millenium Falcon is taking off...

Han Solo asks C3PO to give him a countdown, and C3PO says..

"10....8.....6.....4"

Han interrupts him and asks what the heck he's doing.

C3 says "You told me to never tell you the odds"

The Falcon Heavy is now the world’s most powerful rocket

The Falcon Heavy can put around 140,000 pounds of cargo into lower Earth orbit, more than twice as much weight as any other operational rocket. This powerful vehicle could open up entirely new types of business for SpaceX: launching heavy national security satellites or even sending large modules or...

What's the difference between a dollar bill and the Atlanta Falcons?

A dollar bill is good for 4 quarters.

What's the difference between a falcon and an eagle?

Eagles can hold a lead.

So SpaceX is launching the Falcon Heavy Today...

Too bad it isn't carrying the stock market.

What is the worst day to be a fan of the Atlanta Falcons?

March 28th

WARNING WILL CONTAIN ENDGAME SPOILERS

If falcon is the new captain america does that mean he is going to be captain falcon

So after what Steve does at the end of Endgame...

Does that officially make Sam "Captain Falcon" now?

What do the Falcons have in common with Democrats?

They both won the popular vote but lost to Trump.

A falcon 9 rocket lands on the roof or a bar called GE

The barkeeps yells at the rocket..Hey aren't you that rocket that landed up there before? Yes, yes I am bar GE!!
The barkeep yells back but of course I still love you.

It's no wonder falcons are an endangered species

They've got an extreme choking problem.

Why couldnt Elon Musk lift the box?

Its was too falcon heavy
















I'm sorry

C3PO, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo are taken prisoner on an alien planet

The Millennium Falcon had to make an emergency stop on an uncharted planet. The trio is greeted by a hostile alien race and placed in a horrendous prison.

After some time they are taken in the night to some kind of tribunal where they are told that all outsiders are regarded as evil demons an...

Why would anyone trust Chewbacca to fly the millennium falcon?

He's such a wookie pilot.

I had three Star Wars jokes prior to this. But none were any good.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave wanted to send a letter to his girlfriend..

So he goes to the nearby market to buy an envelope. Just as he is about to enter the store, a man rushes out the market, furious,yelling and swearing. Dave didn't want to get in the mans way and just lets him pass. He enters the store and finds the cashier, a young lady, crying.

"Is everythi...

I was on a beach once, roasting a seagull over a small fire

I heard footsteps on the rocks, and looked up to see a Conservation Officer approaching.

"Hey there, bud, whatcha cookin' there?"

I turned the bird slowly on its stick, then looked at the pile of feathers. "Western Gull, I think."

The officer widened his eyes, "Oh, ya can't be e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Step 1: Get underwear with the Millennium Falcon on the butt.

Step 2: Have the fastest hunk of junk in the trunk in the galaxy.

What's the best way to smuggle avacado toast across the galaxy?

On the millennial falcon.

Han, Luke, Obi Wan and Chewie begin there journey to the Death Star aboard the Falcon...

... immediately Chewbacca begins to emit a low, growling whisper - clearly trying to indicate something to his shipmates

Obi Wan: I can't hear a word he's saying
Luke: Yeah, Han, can't you tell your friend to speak up a bit?

Han: Sorry guys.. thats just how the Wookie mumbles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

School tasks

Just before lunch break one day, the teacher asked all the students to go out an get inspiration for a report after break.

Afterwards little Sarah comes in and describes in very vivid detail a rose growing in mud, with water drops glistening in the sun. The teacher with a tear in her eyes ask...

What do you call a spaceship that runs on all natural fuel?

The Millenial falcon

I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight!

Don't worry; so did the ~~Patriots~~ Falcons.

Golden State Warriors "No one can choke harder than we did."

Atlanta Falcons "Hold my beer."

A cemetery superintendent was hoping to approve newly donated lands for internment

The Holy Cross Cemetery had received a surprise donation that would double the real estate of their current holdings, which were already overcrowded.

The lead undertaker, Arthur Falconer, was tasked by the superintendent with surveying the new land to plan how to layout the new headstones....

Who wants to be a Millionaire?

A lady is on "Who wants to be a Millionaire" and she has already won $500,000. She is on her last question with only the phone a friend left.

Chris Harrison: You can leave now with $500,000 dollars, or you can try for the million. If you fail to answer this last question you lose all your mon...

How do you get a champagne cork back in the bottle?

I don't know, ask a Falcons fan

What do you call a 30 year old in a falcon suit?

The millennial falcon

Tallahassee, FL (AP) - A 7 year old boy was at the center of a court room drama yesterday when he challenged the court’s ruling of who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and was initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beats him mo...

We all know that today's eclipse was amazing,

but we can't forget the fact that the Falcons still blew a 25 point lead during the superbowl

Now that Han is dead, Chewbacca

is flying the Millennium Falcon solo.

Four physicians are out in a field...

... a general internist, an emergency physician, a surgeon, and a pathologist. They see a bird fly overhead.

- The internist says "looks like a sparrow, sounds like a sparrow, its probably a sparrow.'

- The emergency physician says "it's not a falcon, it's not a hawk, I'm not sure ...

I don't know if I can handle the intensity

My wife just told me she was going to blow me harder then the falcons 28-3 lead.

The Patriots are true gentlemen.

They let the Falcons finish their game before they started theirs.

Brady once again charged with letting the air out of something.

This time it was the Falcons defense

The Green Bay Packers' Defense

That's it. That's the joke. LET'S GO FALCONS!

A bunch of Hollywood celebrities formed two baseball teams...

...to raise money for a charity.

The day of the match arrived and everyone was ready. The celebrities were dressed in their outfits, some practising their throws and catches, others practising their swing. Russell Crowe was selected to umpire.

The match started, and the two teams, "The...

So I was in the hospital while my wife was giving birth...

I was reading an AskReddit post about weird children names. I saw a post where some kid was named Falcon. I thought naming my kid after a bird was a good idea, so I decided to name it Dodo, as the doctor told me the baby was already dead.

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

A Star Wars Joke(No Spoilers)

Why was Han yelling at Chewbacca on their first day on the Millenium Falcon?
.

.

.


Because Chewie was making too many wookie mistakes!

Zalporin

Luke and Leia are on a mission to a remote Rebel base when they receive a distress call from the Millennium Falcon. Tracing its homing beacon, they discover that the ship is stranded on a planet called Zalporin, on the other side of the galaxy.

"I've heard of this world," Leia says, gravely c...

Moses, Jesus, and an old man are playing a friendly game of golf...

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are playing a friendly game of golf.

First Moses goes. He licks his finger to check the wind. He does some simple trigonometry and then hits the golf ball. The golf ball lands in the middle of the lake. He grumbles and growls and sticks his club into the ground t...

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