Just had lunch at the Pelican Cafe...

the food was good but the bill was enormous!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First dirty joke an adult ever told me, what's yours?

A pelican spots a frog in a marsh and swallows him whole. The pelican flies off and reaches a great height. Suddenly the frog pokes his head out of the pelicans butt and yells out to the pelican "Hey,how high are we right now?", the pelican replies "About 100 meters.", to which the frog nervously re...

I ate pelican at a fancy restaurant.

The service was fantastic but the bill was enormous.

What do you call a dead pelican?

A pelican’t.

I went to a curry house and ordered the pelican curry

It was really nice but the bill was massive

Sometimes I feel like a Pelican

Everywhere I turn there is just a huge bill

What a wonderful bird, the Pelican.

His mouth can hold more than his belican.

A Pelican walks into a bar

The bartender says to the Pelican, “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept big bills.”

[Pelican family pay for meal with $100 notes]

WAITER: Don't any of you guys have smaller bills?

PA PELICAN: \[Dignified\] We're as God made us, Sir

What's a pelican's favorite sport?

*fly* fishing!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The creator of mad libs died this week.

His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.

I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger.

It was good, but the bill was enormous.

So I went to this restaurant called Pelican's...

food was great; huge bill though.

What's the difference between a seagull and a pelican?

You can't sea a pelican.





Note: I'm actually on laughing gas rn btw.

So my Nan goes down to the local game store...

I'm a big fan of the Halo series, so for Christmas, I asked my Nan to buy me a Halo model from the local game shop. So she goes down to the shop and is greeted by a very nice man at the store who asks her what she wants to buy. She sends me a text asking me what I wanted.

I send a text back s...

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What have an Ostrich, a Pelican, and the tax man got in common?

They can all stick their bills up their arse.

(Credit: Billy Connolly)

Terrible what they do these days

We've been reading in the papers lately about terrible cruelty someone is causing to our winged friends by the shore, as many Pelicans have been found with their beaks cut off.

Police suspect a local bill collector is behind it all.

A boy asked his father one morning...

Boy: Dad, where did I come from?

Father: You were born from a giant white cloud, then brought here by a fat pelican with a worn-out hat.

Boy: But mother said she gave birth to me!

Father: ... Your point?

Why did the girl marry the bird instead of the fruit?

Because the fruit cantaloupe, but the bird pelican.

Bird Jokes

Just some random bird-brain jokes...

What do you call a bird that picks its nose? A flicker

What do you call a bird that works at a restaurant? A wader

What bird can do more that others? Pelican

What two birds met in the insane asylum? A cuckoo and a loon

What bir...

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So Jesus and Moses are about to tee of at 18...

they are about 500 yards away from a par 5, and moses is the first to hit. He gets up and smacks one pin high, 2 feet away from the hole just from his drive. Looks at Jesus and says "i'd like to see you beat that one messiah". So, Jesus gets up, hits one 36 yards to the complete left directly into ...

What kind of underwear does John Grisham use?

Pelican Briefs

I'll go find a bridge

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