Just had lunch at the Pelican Cafe...

the food was good but the bill was enormous!

What do you call a dead pelican?

A pelican’t.

What do you get if you cross a pelican and a zebra?

Two streets further away.

I ate pelican at a fancy restaurant.

The service was fantastic but the bill was enormous.

Sometimes I feel like a Pelican

Everywhere I turn there is just a huge bill

What a wonderful bird, the Pelican.

His mouth can hold more than his belican.

Why are pelicans able to dive into the ocean they way they do?

Because they're called peliCANs, not peliCAN'Ts.

Why did the Pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?

Because he had a really big bill.



Credit: Gravity Falls (felt like sharing this god awful pun)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First dirty joke an adult ever told me, what's yours?

A pelican spots a frog in a marsh and swallows him whole. The pelican flies off and reaches a great height. Suddenly the frog pokes his head out of the pelicans butt and yells out to the pelican "Hey,how high are we right now?", the pelican replies "About 100 meters.", to which the frog nervously re...

I went to a curry house and ordered the pelican curry

It was really nice but the bill was massive

I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger.

It was good, but the bill was enormous.

What's a pelican's favorite sport?

*fly* fishing!

[Pelican family pay for meal with $100 notes]

WAITER: Don't any of you guys have smaller bills?

PA PELICAN: \[Dignified\] We're as God made us, Sir

What's the difference between a seagull and a pelican?

You can't sea a pelican.





Note: I'm actually on laughing gas rn btw.

So I went to this restaurant called Pelican's...

food was great; huge bill though.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The creator of mad libs died this week.

His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.

Toronto Raptors: We are the only sports team named after a dinosaur!

New Orleans Pelicans and Atlanta Hawks: Well technically -

Terrible what they do these days

We've been reading in the papers lately about terrible cruelty someone is causing to our winged friends by the shore, as many Pelicans have been found with their beaks cut off.

Police suspect a local bill collector is behind it all.

A boy asked his father one morning...

Boy: Dad, where did I come from?

Father: You were born from a giant white cloud, then brought here by a fat pelican with a worn-out hat.

Boy: But mother said she gave birth to me!

Father: ... Your point?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What have an Ostrich, a Pelican, and the tax man got in common?

They can all stick their bills up their arse.

(Credit: Billy Connolly)

Bird Jokes

Just some random bird-brain jokes...

What do you call a bird that picks its nose? A flicker

What do you call a bird that works at a restaurant? A wader

What bird can do more that others? Pelican

What two birds met in the insane asylum? A cuckoo and a loon

What bir...

What kind of underwear does John Grisham use?

Pelican Briefs

I'll go find a bridge

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