A heck of a bird is a Pelican

It's beak can hold more than its Bellycan

[Pelican family pay for meal with $100 notes]

WAITER: Don't any of you guys have smaller bills?

PA PELICAN: \[Dignified\] We're as God made us, Sir

Just had lunch at the Pelican Cafe...

the food was good but the bill was enormous!

What's a pelican's favorite sport?

*fly* fishing!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

First dirty joke an adult ever told me, what's yours?

A pelican spots a frog in a marsh and swallows him whole. The pelican flies off and reaches a great height. Suddenly the frog pokes his head out of the pelicans butt and yells out to the pelican "Hey,how high are we right now?", the pelican replies "About 100 meters.", to which the frog nervously re...

What do you call a Pelican with a broken wing?

A pelicant.

What do you call a pelican with its beak taped shut?

A pelicant. :-)

What's the difference between a seagull and a pelican?

You can't sea a pelican.





Note: I'm actually on laughing gas rn btw.

So I went to this restaurant called Pelican's...

food was great; huge bill though.

I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger.

It was good, but the bill was enormous.

I ate pelican today

Never again. The bill was massive.

I went out for a pelican curry last night....

It was really nice, but the bill was enormous!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What have an Ostrich, a Pelican, and the tax man got in common?

They can all stick their bills up their arse.

(Credit: Billy Connolly)

Terrible what they do these days

We've been reading in the papers lately about terrible cruelty someone is causing to our winged friends by the shore, as many Pelicans have been found with their beaks cut off.

Police suspect a local bill collector is behind it all.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The creator of mad libs died this week.

His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.

Bird Jokes

Just some random bird-brain jokes...

What do you call a bird that picks its nose? A flicker

What do you call a bird that works at a restaurant? A wader

What bird can do more that others? Pelican

What two birds met in the insane asylum? A cuckoo and a loon

What bir...

What kind of underwear does John Grisham use?

Pelican Briefs

I'll go find a bridge

"The Frogs in Prague Defy Catalog"

According to a research team at Charles University in Prague, the local amphibians have very peculiar migratory habits. In recent years, a new sub-species have been identified which is not native to the area around the Czech capitol. The research has been carried out with the help of many students a...

A boy asked his father one morning...

Boy: Dad, where did I come from?

Father: You were born from a giant white cloud, then brought here by a fat pelican with a worn-out hat.

Boy: But mother said she gave birth to me!

Father: ... Your point?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So Jesus and Moses are about to tee of at 18...

they are about 500 yards away from a par 5, and moses is the first to hit. He gets up and smacks one pin high, 2 feet away from the hole just from his drive. Looks at Jesus and says "i'd like to see you beat that one messiah". So, Jesus gets up, hits one 36 yards to the complete left directly into ...