A Pelican walks into a bar

The bartender says to the Pelican, “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept big bills.”

[Pelican family pay for meal with $100 notes]

WAITER: Don't any of you guys have smaller bills?

PA PELICAN: \[Dignified\] We're as God made us, Sir

Just had lunch at the Pelican Cafe...

the food was good but the bill was enormous!

A heck of a bird is a Pelican

It's beak can hold more than its Bellycan

What's a pelican's favorite sport?

*fly* fishing!

What do you call a Pelican with a broken wing?

A pelicant.

What's the difference between a seagull and a pelican?

You can't sea a pelican.





Note: I'm actually on laughing gas rn btw.

I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger.

It was good, but the bill was enormous.

So I went to this restaurant called Pelican's...

food was great; huge bill though.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

First dirty joke an adult ever told me, what's yours?

A pelican spots a frog in a marsh and swallows him whole. The pelican flies off and reaches a great height. Suddenly the frog pokes his head out of the pelicans butt and yells out to the pelican "Hey,how high are we right now?", the pelican replies "About 100 meters.", to which the frog nervously re...

I ate pelican today

Never again. The bill was massive.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What have an Ostrich, a Pelican, and the tax man got in common?

They can all stick their bills up their arse.

(Credit: Billy Connolly)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The creator of mad libs died this week.

His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.

I went out for a pelican curry last night....

It was really nice, but the bill was enormous!

Terrible what they do these days

We've been reading in the papers lately about terrible cruelty someone is causing to our winged friends by the shore, as many Pelicans have been found with their beaks cut off.

Police suspect a local bill collector is behind it all.

Bird Jokes

Just some random bird-brain jokes...

What do you call a bird that picks its nose? A flicker

What do you call a bird that works at a restaurant? A wader

What bird can do more that others? Pelican

What two birds met in the insane asylum? A cuckoo and a loon

What bir...

What kind of underwear does John Grisham use?

Pelican Briefs

I'll go find a bridge

A boy asked his father one morning...

Boy: Dad, where did I come from?

Father: You were born from a giant white cloud, then brought here by a fat pelican with a worn-out hat.

Boy: But mother said she gave birth to me!

Father: ... Your point?