UPJOKE
draw inpulldrawcatchbringgetcreateappealpull inretractlurecaptureenticeencouragecaptivate

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to men and women but neither are attracted to you?

Bi-yourself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who's sexually attracted to trees?

A leaf blower.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jane was obviously attracted to Tarzan and asking him about his life asked how he had sex..

"Tarzan not know what is sex" he replied.

Jane then explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said ...."Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Stunned by his response, Jane said: "Tarzan you have it all wrong, you don't shag a tree to get yourself off. Tell you what, I will show yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm sexually attracted to metal boxes with locking systems.

But don't worry. It's safe sex.

[First Date] Her: I’m usually attracted to men with power.

Me: That’s great, I always pay my electric bill on time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] I was wondering why some people felt sexually attracted to animals, and decided to investigate.

During my research I went down quite a few rabbit holes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is it called when you're only attracted to Canadians?

Eh?sexual

What are milk farmers attracted to?

A nice dairy air.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of women are computer programmers attracted to?

BASIC bitches, obviously..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which Amusement Park Ride was the Magnet the Most Attracted to?

The Ferrous Wheel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a friend who is sexually attracted to inanimate objects.

I don't see him much though. He always has stuff to do.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I know a girl who is only attracted to Canadians.

She's Eh'-sexual.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Never befriend someone who is sexually attracted to almonds and pecans.

Eventually you’ll realize they’re fucking nuts.

My wife asked if I was still attracted to her

I replied “I married a 6 and now you’re a 10, what do you think?”

She walked away happy,

Which is odd because I was talking about her dress size.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I find myself very attracted to men with hairy legs, hooves, and horns who play the flute.

I guess you could say I am Pan Sexual.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m attracted to my neighbor’s garden decoration. The beard, the cute tummy….

Does that make me a gnomosexual?

What do you call a man whos attracted to young computers?

A PDFile

No wonder everyone's attracted to the earths center

It is pretty hot

My buddy is attracted to minors

He had the nerve to look at me like I’m the weird one. That’s the last time I pick him up from middle school.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to be sexually attracted to every touch, scent, sight, taste and sound.

Then I came to my senses.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend said she’s only attracted to Canadians.

I guess she’s eh-sexual.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I found out I was sexually attracted to electrical currents

Yeah, shocking

25 years ago, my wife was attracted to me because I was ripped and had a 6-pack

Now she tells me I have a quarter barrel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you Hear about the guy who was sexually attracted to the end of essays?

He always came to conclusions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Moth are not actually attracted to lights

That's just where all the big tiddy moth bitches hang out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when one Neanderthal man is attracted to another Neanderthal man?

Homo Erectus.....

ill see myself out....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m sexually attracted to mashed chickpeas

I’m a hummussexual

My thermometer is attracted to sick people...

He says they’re *sooooooo* hot.

At first I thought I was only attracted to dad bods...

But then I realized I just wanted a father figure.

People are strongly attracted to yo momma

because of her gravitational force.

What are American bugs attracted to?

Oil lamps

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.