My uncle swore to me that if i wanted to attract girls, I mean REALLY draw in the chicks, I should roll up a sock and put it in my pants.

I did this at a high school dance, and I when I got home, he asked me if I tried it and did it work. I told him it did not help at all, and only made things worse. He looked down and said, “Well you were supposed to put it in the FRONT!”

I had a performance in an art gallery today.

It was to draw in more people.

How to Sell a Toothbrush

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes.

He replied “It’s easy” and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top.

He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump built a house of cards out of his Magic the Gathering collection.

It was a little house, but it had multiple floors, and was even sturdy enough for a sitting room on the second floor. Donald loved to go up there and draw in his coloring books. One day he thought something might be wrong with it, which frustrated him, since he had worked so hard on it. Angrily, he ...

A man named Walter is running in a race

and he's first. He's miles in front, and he's ran 3/4 of the race so he decides that now would be a good time to take a breather. Whilst he's taking his breather, he starts reflecting on all the races he's ran in. "I love the crowds at the end of races but most of the time, they're awful" he thought...

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