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Art Gallery Jokes

I went to an Art Gallery, it was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture.

It was called Electronic Arts.

I visited an art gallery.

"Absolutely gorgeous, don't you think?" I asked the fellow next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey...the way the colours intertwine. Truly beautiful."



He slowly stepped away from the urinal and left.

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:

-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?

-Sure.

-It's pretty much worthless.

-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.

Did you hear about the magician who made an art gallery disappear?

Now museum, now you don't.

What’s something you can say both in an art gallery and on the bed with your partner?

It’s wet right now, please don’t touch

A blind thief decided to rob an art gallery

Ended up stealing an evacuation plan

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Art Gallery Nudes

A couple at an art gallery see a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves.

The wife doesn't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking.



She asks, "What are you waiting for?"



He replies, "Autumn."

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art gallery

They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

"Look at how reserved and calm they are," the Englishman says, "they would definitely be English."

"They are naked and beautiful, they would have to be French." The Frenchmen counters.

The Russian speaks up, "...

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At the National Art Gallery in Dublin

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.


Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The cu...

I was once in an art gallery once looking at a painting of Margaret Thatcher in a bikini ...

a security guard wandered over to me and said “sir you can’t wear that in here”

I had a performance in an art gallery today.

It was to draw in more people.

The thief pulled out his gun, pointed it at the art gallery manager and said

"This is a robbery, give me all your monet!"

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Kim Jong Un visits an art gallery

Kim Jong Un, surrounded by his aides and bodyguards, surveys an art exhibition.

"What the hell is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" he asked.

His aide answered, "This painting, Supreme Leader, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produc...

A critic goes to an art gallery and finds the artist of the pieces there.

Critic: "Would you like to know what I think of your art?"
Artist: "Oh, yes please"
Critic: "It's useless"
Artist: "I know, but I would still like to hear it. "

Why did the console peasant faint at the art gallery

There were too many frames

A young artist puts his first exhibit in an art gallery

... and a well known art critic is in attendance.

The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"

"Yes, " says the artist.

"It's worthless," says the critic

The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."

An artist has been displaying his paintings in an art gallery.

He asks the gallery owner if anyone has bought his work.
"I have good news and bad news," says the gallery owner.
The good news is that a man asked if your work would be worth more after your death. I told him it would and he bought all ten of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," says the a...

I was walking around an art gallery with my wife.

"Does anything in this room get you excited?" she said, with a cheeky wink.

I said, "Yes, some of the paintings."

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In an art gallery I saw a poo with teeth marks on it.

It was a bit shit.

I was in an art gallery one time and I went up to this lady staring at a painting.

I told her: "This painting reminds me of my grandfather; he always had wonderful strokes."


She replied "Oh that's lovely; where is he now?"


"Well the last one finally killed him."

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My wife insisted we go and see the alligators crafted out of manure at the "contemporary" art gallery last night. My advice... don't go!

Turned out to be a croc of shit.

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The Canadian Opera Company has announced that it will play a special concert series at the Vancouver Art Gallery.

They say that this will be the first time the COC has played in the VAG.

A woman goes into an art gallery and sees two still-life pictures. Both are of a table laid for lunch with a glass of wine, a basket of bread rolls and a plate of sliced ham. However, one picture is selling for $75 and the other for $100.

Curious, she goes to the gallery owner and asks him what the difference is between the two pictures. The owner points at the $100 painting and says, “You get more ham with that one.”

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"Alright guys, we have lots of pictures to mount before the art gallery tonight. Like I said in the email, we'll have to use these adhesive hooks. Under no circumstances will you penetrate the wall with nails or screws. Tim, I've noticed you've already hung one picture. Great job.

Tim (hiding his drill and muttering under his breath): welp.. I screwed that up.

Pragmatism wins!

At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work.

They finally went with mine. “I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said. “No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll...

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The strange painting

John and Michelle are out on a date at an art gallery. They're walking around, looking at art, discussing the paintings, and generally having a good time. Eventually they come across a very strange painting that they can't seem to make heads or tails of. It's a large canvas called "Home for Lunch," ...

Always trust the soviet weather man.

A couple were visiting an art gallery in soviet St. Petersburg when they looked out of the window and saw the weather starting to look quite cloudy. The wife turned to her husband and said "We should get back to the hotel,I think its going to snow!" Before her husband could reply their tour guide le...

'I love your paintings'

Someone in an art gallery

or

a Jamaican in a bondage shop.

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An art joke

A couple found a painting in an art gallery, the painting showed 3 black men, 2 eating sandwiches on a bench, all naked, yet the man in the middle had a white penis and had no sandwich.

The couple looked at this painting, puzzled, they asked the curator what it meant.

"well, you see, ...

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