They told me I’d never be any good at poetry because I’m Dyslexic.

But to date I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they’re lovely.

People always told me I would suck at poetry because I'm dyslexic.

Well I've made two vases and a jug today, so who sucks now!

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A college girl was desperate to pass a poetry class for which she was almost failing...

For the final exam, the professor announced the challenge of the year: he wanted the students to write something confident. Philosophical. Something that really meant "no worries."

Everyone went home and stayed up all night writing their final exam poetry, the girl including.

The next ...

I have a book of Mongolian poetry.

It has its prose and Khans.

A haiku I wrote

Expresses the constant frustration of poetry writing:

”this is really dumb”

I really don’t like this much

Its about nature”

Whaddya use to decide whether to host a Star Trek poetry event?

A list of prose in Khans.

My local prison started a program where inmates get together once a week to read poetry

they're calling it "Prose and Cons"

What do you yell at Edgar Allen Poe right before he crashes into a tree?

Poetry

I met a dyslexic girl that told me she was into poetry.

She made me the nicest clay flower pot.

What do you call someone who works for U-Haul and doesn't appreciate poetry?

An unmoved mover.

A dyslexic friend of mine thought it might help his condition if he joined a poetry club.

He hasn't come out with any poems yet, but he's made some pretty nice jugs and vases and stuff.

My teachers always told me I couldn't do poetry because of my dyslexia, but I really showed them...

I made a mug, a vase, and a pot just today!

My parents always told me I'd never be good at poetry since I'm Dyslexic.

My flower pot and 3 vases are pretty good if I do say so myself.

Poetry and Short Stories

"I'm afraid I've caught poetry."

"Oh, really? Well, don't worry, sir. I used to... suffer from short stories."

"Really? When?"

"Oh, once upon a time."

Actor Hugh Laurie was so fond of the works of Samuel Beckett that he once devoured an entire anthology of his poetry.

Hugh felt that he deserved to be a poet Laurie ate.

Bathroom Poetry

This little throne I call my own

I aim to keep it neat

So drain your soul, pee down the hole

And not upon the seat

This morning was all about Shakespeare. This afternoon it's all about his poetry.

Things are going from Bard to Verse



*^(Credit to my mate, Martin)*

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English Class

The third-grade teacher was teaching English and repeated for her class:

"Mary had a little lamb,

Whose fleece was white as snow.

And everywhere that Mary went,

The lamb was sure to go."

The teacher explained this was an example of poetry, but could be changed to p...

The oldest known British joke dates from the 10th century.

Found in a book of Anglo-Saxon poetry, it reads: "what hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before?

Answer: A key."

Roses are gray

Violets are gray

I'm color blind

And not very good at poetry

What do you call a room full of redheads listening to poetry readings?

Ginger snaps

The National poetry contest

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the conte...

I have been weighing the pros and cons about reading poetry to prisoners.

Pros: prose
Cons: cons

What is an English teacher's favourite tree?

Poetry

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Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Hike.

Hike who?

I didn’t know you liked Japanese poetry!

At the national poetry contest finals,...

The final two contestants were a harvard educated english professor and a redneck from the hills of Alabama. The final task was to write a 4 line poem containing the word timbuktu. Each finalist was given 5 minutes to come up with a poem

After they were given some time to think, the finals ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

hey guys

some people down at the library asked me to design a sign for a summit they're hosting on japanese syllabic poetry, and i want a second opinion.

international
haiku appreciation
conference inside

Why are programmers so good at poetry?

Well, all words rhyme in binary.

What do you call a reptile that goes to a poetry slam?

A snapping turtle.

I dumped a girl because she wouldn’t let me read poetry.

Prose before hoes.

What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??

Shrekspeare!!!

I'm considering taking a position to translate old Mongolian poetry

The job has its prose and Khans

My friend entered a poetry related pun contest.

He stanza good chance.

Poverty is poetry to me...

Mainly because I'm dyslexic.

Two Brothers and a poetry contest

There were two brothers who were always very competitive. One day they were at a fair together. They approached a stage where they were holding a poetry contest. Poetry was neither of the brothers "thing" but when one brother told the other he could win the whole competition, the battle was on.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The truth is like poetry,

Most people fucking hate poetry

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Curious George goes to a bar

A man and his monkey went into a bar,

On his shoulder was the monkey, he went not far.

Shooting pool all day long was what the man did,

The monkey watched as balls cross the table slid.



And then in a flash the small monkey ran down,

Then he picked up the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thor hasn't had sex in a while...

It's been a long time. Thor decides he needs to get off.

And human chicks are hot.

So he visits Earth. Goes to a bar, meets a girl. With his God of Thunder good looks, his adventurous and supernatural stories, and the confidence of, well, an actual deity, she falls for him instantly....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you ever read Mongolian Poetry?

It has prose and Khans

(Mercilessly re-worded from an /r/Civ shitpost forever ago)

My pet horse has started writing poetry.

Edgar Allan Poe-ny

Telling your parents your a philosophy major is like reading them poetry

They snap

You only have enough time to say one word to Edgar Allan Poe who is about to walk into a tree. What do you say?

Poetry

Poetry cannot be justified.

It's a typography joke.

My girlfriend's body is like poetry...

...It bores me.


*I really love my girlfriend, and her body is not like poetry, just so ya know :p

There was once a poetry competition...

and it was down to the final two contestants. The first was an English Lit professor from Harvard while the second was a country boy from the back woods of Alabama who had somehow made it that far.

For the finals the moderator says "Gentleman, I will now ask each of you to create a poem usi...

Poetry about Pawn Stars

You want a poem?

Best I can do is haiku,

take it or leave it.

There is a tie for 1st place at a poetry slam...

The two contestants with the equal highest score are a Priest and a Scotsman. To decide which one should be the winner the judges take a random word out of a hat and give both of them 2 minutes to make a short poem with said word. The word being "Timbuktu".

The 2 minutes are up and the pries...

The Rhyming Competition

The was a very classy rhyming competition and after a long day of working through the brackets there were only two contestants left.
While his opponent waited in a sound-proof room backstage, the defending champion takes the podium. His name is Preston Hughs, a scholar, gentleman, and has many of...

CIA Agent arrested in Russia

A CIA agent is arrested in Moscow and charged with spying. The agent is fluent in Russian and has had years of specialised training on how to blend in with the Russian people. he's the perfect sleeper agent.
Down in the darkest dungeons beneath Kremlin the Russian Secret Service (FSS) begin thei...

Two men were chatting in a bar

"So what do you do?"

"I write"

"Oh, poetry or prose?"

"Neither, I write cartoons"

"Why's that?"

"No rhyme or reason"

Did you hear about the poet who liked to dip his work in moisturiser?

It was poetry in lotion

I wrote a joke about pigeons.

Stoned pigeon poetry: High Coo

There once was a gasman named Peter...

Who, one day while reading the meter
Used a match for a light
He blew out of sight
And as anyone who knows anything about poetry will tell you, he also ruined the meter.

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