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Poetry Jokes

Bathroom Poetry

This little throne I call my own

I aim to keep it neat

So drain your soul, pee down the hole

And not upon the seat

I was told, I would never be good at poetry, since I’m dyslexic…

But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase… and they look very nice, if you ask me.

There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.

They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.

The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."

The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.

The old country man then goes, "Tim...

My teacher told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic.

But so far I've made three jugs and a vase and they're lovely.



Edit to add: Thank you for the Gold and Silvers kind strangers!

Mark Zuckerberg writes poetry about writing poetry

He calls it Meta verse.

Why shouldn't you study French philosophy before Roman poetry?

Because that would be putting Descarte before the Horace.

Does Zuckerberg like poetry?

Yes, he’s never met-a-verse he didn’t like.

My friend entered a poetry related pun contest.

He stanza good chance.

I’m considering taking a position translating old Mongolian poetry.

The jobs has its prose and Khans.

Happy cake day to me!

Recently I've started teaching a poetry class in a maximum security prison.

It's a tough job but I enjoy it. It really has it's prose and cons.

Why can't you read cat poetry to children?

Because it's all purr-verse.

I wrote down what I thought about mongolian poetry

It has its prose and its Khans

A dyslexic friend of mine thought it might help his condition if he joined a poetry club.

He hasn't come out with any poems yet, but he's made some pretty nice jugs and vases and stuff.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Difference Between Poetry and Prose

An English teacher was explaining the differences of poetry and prose to her class.

“Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.”

“This is an example of poetry, but if I wanted to change it to prose I would say, ‘the l...

I prefer to read poetry in braille for some reason.

I just really feel the words a lot more.

You only have enough time to say one word to Edgar Allan Poe who is about to walk into a tree. What do you say?

Poetry

World's oldest joke found in a 10th century book of anglo-saxon poetry :

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that's it's often poked before?

A key....

What do you call horrible poetry?

A c-RHYME

Poetry and Short Stories

"I'm afraid I've caught poetry."

"Oh, really? Well, don't worry, sir. I used to... suffer from short stories."

"Really? When?"

"Oh, once upon a time."

Why are programmers so good at poetry?

Well, all words rhyme in binary.

At the national poetry contest finals,...

The final two contestants were a harvard educated english professor and a redneck from the hills of Alabama. The final task was to write a 4 line poem containing the word timbuktu. Each finalist was given 5 minutes to come up with a poem

After they were given some time to think, the finals ...

My best mate’s dyslexic and one of our teachers suggested he try poetry

He’s made 3 vases so far

The National poetry contest

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the conte...

This morning was all about Shakespeare. This afternoon it's all about his poetry.

Things are going from Bard to Verse



*^(Credit to my mate, Martin)*

My dyslexic support group held a slam poetry competition

Doug got first with a great piece about racial tensions in America.

Anna got second with a touching monologue about women's rights.

I got third by smashing an urn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Truth is like poetry

and most people fucking hate poetry.

Did you hear about the book of poetry that the Black Eyed Peas are publishing?

It's written in Will.I.Ambic Pentameter

My girlfriend's body is like poetry...

...It bores me.


*I really love my girlfriend, and her body is not like poetry, just so ya know :p

Whaddya use to decide whether to host a Star Trek poetry event?

A list of prose in Khans.

Poetry about Pawn Stars

You want a poem?

Best I can do is haiku,

take it or leave it.

What do you call a room full of redheads listening to poetry readings?

Ginger snaps

What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??

Shrekspeare!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A college girl was desperate to pass a poetry class for which she was almost failing...

For the final exam, the professor announced the challenge of the year: he wanted the students to write something confident. Philosophical. Something that really meant "no worries."

Everyone went home and stayed up all night writing their final exam poetry, the girl including.

The next ...

I have plans to start a business reading poetry and short stories to the imprisoned

I call it Prose and Cons

Poverty is poetry to me...

Mainly because I'm dyslexic.

There was once a poetry competition...

and it was down to the final two contestants. The first was an English Lit professor from Harvard while the second was a country boy from the back woods of Alabama who had somehow made it that far.

For the finals the moderator says "Gentleman, I will now ask each of you to create a poem usi...

I dumped a girl because she wouldn’t let me read poetry.

Prose before hoes.

My teachers always told me I couldn't do poetry because of my dyslexia, but I really showed them...

I made a mug, a vase, and a pot just today!

What do you call a reptile that goes to a poetry slam?

A snapping turtle.

Most Star Trek fans aren't big into poetry, so I knew that writing and publishing a book of Trek-themed poems would be risky but rewarding.

The project had its prose and Khans.

Actor Hugh Laurie was so fond of the works of Samuel Beckett that he once devoured an entire anthology of his poetry.

Hugh felt that he deserved to be a poet Laurie ate.

What do you call someone who works for U-Haul and doesn't appreciate poetry?

An unmoved mover.

Telling your parents your a philosophy major is like reading them poetry

They snap

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad was a man of poetry and would always speak to me in metaphors.

He'd always say stuff like, "You're a fucking idiot".

There is a tie for 1st place at a poetry slam...

The two contestants with the equal highest score are a Priest and a Scotsman. To decide which one should be the winner the judges take a random word out of a hat and give both of them 2 minutes to make a short poem with said word. The word being "Timbuktu".

The 2 minutes are up and the pries...

What is an English teacher's favourite tree?

Poetry

Roses Are Red

Roses are red,

I like Darth Vader.

Poetry is hard,

calculator.

Roses are gray

Violets are gray

I'm color blind

And not very good at poetry

Did you hear about the poet who liked to dip his work in moisturiser?

It was poetry in lotion

Two men were chatting in a bar

"So what do you do?"

"I write"

"Oh, poetry or prose?"

"Neither, I write cartoons"

"Why's that?"

"No rhyme or reason"

I run a rehabilitation program where we get prison inmates to write poetry to help them cope with their emotions.

I call it:
Prose and Cons

A haiku I wrote

Expresses the constant frustration of poetry writing:

”this is really dumb”

I really don’t like this much

Its about nature”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The children gathered around their father

The first one asked "Why is my name poetry?"

"Because I went on a poetry website to recite a beautiful poem to your mother and then you were conceived"

The second one ask "Why is my name Amazon?"

"I went on that website to order a beautiful diamond ring for you mother. After she...

I wrote a joke about pigeons.

Stoned pigeon poetry: High Coo

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