I was told I'll never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic.

But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they are lovely.

Why can't you read cat poetry to children?

Because it's all purr-verse.

I started a poetry club at the prison I work at. It's great for the inmates, but does mean I have to stay late with no extra pay

It's got prose and cons.

There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.

They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.

The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."

The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.

The old country man then goes, "Tim...

I prefer to read poetry in braille for some reason.

I just really feel the words a lot more.

My best mate’s dyslexic and one of our teachers suggested he try poetry

He’s made 3 vases so far

World's oldest joke found in a 10th century book of anglo-saxon poetry :

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that's it's often poked before?

A key....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My teacher told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic,

Well I just made 2 vases and a jug, so fuck you Mr McDonald.

My teacher told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic.

But so far I've made three jugs and a vase and they're lovely.



Edit to add: Thank you for the Gold and Silvers kind strangers!

I wrote down what I thought about mongolian poetry

It has its prose and its Khans

Roses Are Red

Roses are red,

I like Darth Vader.

Poetry is hard,

calculator.

A dyslexic friend of mine thought it might help his condition if he joined a poetry club.

He hasn't come out with any poems yet, but he's made some pretty nice jugs and vases and stuff.

Bathroom Poetry

This little throne I call my own

I aim to keep it neat

So drain your soul, pee down the hole

And not upon the seat

My teachers said I couldn’t do poetry because of my dyslexia..

But so far I’ve made two bowls and a vase.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Difference Between Poetry and Prose

An English teacher was explaining the differences of poetry and prose to her class.

“Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.”

“This is an example of poetry, but if I wanted to change it to prose I would say, ‘the l...

Just got offered a job teaching poetry in prison.

I spent all night thinking about the prose and cons.

I'm considering taking a position to translate old Mongolian poetry

The job has its Prose and Kahns

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A college girl was desperate to pass a poetry class for which she was almost failing...

For the final exam, the professor announced the challenge of the year: he wanted the students to write something confident. Philosophical. Something that really meant "no worries."

Everyone went home and stayed up all night writing their final exam poetry, the girl including.

The next ...

Did you hear about the book of poetry that the Black Eyed Peas are publishing?

It's written in Will.I.Ambic Pentameter

I have plans to start a business reading poetry and short stories to the imprisoned

I call it Prose and Cons

A farmer & his 3 beautiful daughters.

This farmer has 3 beautiful daughters and at the local village there's a Fair coming up.

The boys in the village are trying to figure out how to gain the farmers permission to ask his daughters out to the fair and hear he's a big fan of poetry

A few of the boys brainstorm on what they ...

My teachers always told me I couldn't do poetry because of my dyslexia, but I really showed them...

I made a mug, a vase, and a pot just today!

Actor Hugh Laurie was so fond of the works of Samuel Beckett that he once devoured an entire anthology of his poetry.

Hugh felt that he deserved to be a poet Laurie ate.

This morning was all about Shakespeare. This afternoon it's all about his poetry.

Things are going from Bard to Verse



*^(Credit to my mate, Martin)*

Did you hear about the Star Trek poetry night?

It has it's Prose and Khan's.

My local prison started a program where inmates get together once a week to read poetry

they're calling it "Prose and Cons"

Whaddya use to decide whether to host a Star Trek poetry event?

A list of prose in Khans.

What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??

Shrekspeare!!!

What do you call someone who works for U-Haul and doesn't appreciate poetry?

An unmoved mover.

Poetry and Short Stories

"I'm afraid I've caught poetry."

"Oh, really? Well, don't worry, sir. I used to... suffer from short stories."

"Really? When?"

"Oh, once upon a time."

Why are programmers so good at poetry?

Well, all words rhyme in binary.

My friend entered a poetry related pun contest.

He stanza good chance.

Two Brothers and a poetry contest

There were two brothers who were always very competitive. One day they were at a fair together. They approached a stage where they were holding a poetry contest. Poetry was neither of the brothers "thing" but when one brother told the other he could win the whole competition, the battle was on.
...

At the national poetry contest finals,...

The final two contestants were a harvard educated english professor and a redneck from the hills of Alabama. The final task was to write a 4 line poem containing the word timbuktu. Each finalist was given 5 minutes to come up with a poem

After they were given some time to think, the finals ...

The National poetry contest

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the conte...

I dumped a girl because she wouldn’t let me read poetry.

Prose before hoes.

What do you call a reptile that goes to a poetry slam?

A snapping turtle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad was a man of poetry and would always speak to me in metaphors.

He'd always say stuff like, "You're a fucking idiot".

My girlfriend's body is like poetry...

...It bores me.


*I really love my girlfriend, and her body is not like poetry, just so ya know :p

Poetry about Pawn Stars

You want a poem?

Best I can do is haiku,

take it or leave it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The truth is like poetry,

Most people fucking hate poetry

Poverty is poetry to me...

Mainly because I'm dyslexic.

What did they yell at Edgar Allen Poe when he nearly walked into a tree?

Poetry!

Telling your parents your a philosophy major is like reading them poetry

They snap

My pet horse has started writing poetry.

Edgar Allan Poe-ny

There was once a poetry competition...

and it was down to the final two contestants. The first was an English Lit professor from Harvard while the second was a country boy from the back woods of Alabama who had somehow made it that far.

For the finals the moderator says "Gentleman, I will now ask each of you to create a poem usi...

There is a tie for 1st place at a poetry slam...

The two contestants with the equal highest score are a Priest and a Scotsman. To decide which one should be the winner the judges take a random word out of a hat and give both of them 2 minutes to make a short poem with said word. The word being "Timbuktu".

The 2 minutes are up and the pries...

A haiku I wrote

Expresses the constant frustration of poetry writing:

”this is really dumb”

I really don’t like this much

Its about nature”

Roses are gray

Violets are gray

I'm color blind

And not very good at poetry

You only have enough time to say one word to Edgar Allan Poe who is about to walk into a tree. What do you say?

Poetry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was making an apple pie and realised I was missing an important ingredient. [long]

I got a rather verbose birthday card some time back containing a story - this is my retelling of it:

I was making an apple pie and realised I was missing an important ingredient.

Unfortunately, I was up to my elbows in sticky mixture and didn't really want to have to go through the faf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The children gathered around their father

The first one asked "Why is my name poetry?"

"Because I went on a poetry website to recite a beautiful poem to your mother and then you were conceived"

The second one ask "Why is my name Amazon?"

"I went on that website to order a beautiful diamond ring for you mother. After she...

What is an English teacher's favourite tree?

Poetry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Hike.

Hike who?

I didn’t know you liked Japanese poetry!

Two men were chatting in a bar

"So what do you do?"

"I write"

"Oh, poetry or prose?"

"Neither, I write cartoons"

"Why's that?"

"No rhyme or reason"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Curious George goes to a bar

A man and his monkey went into a bar,

On his shoulder was the monkey, he went not far.

Shooting pool all day long was what the man did,

The monkey watched as balls cross the table slid.



And then in a flash the small monkey ran down,

Then he picked up the ...

CIA Agent arrested in Russia

A CIA agent is arrested in Moscow and charged with spying. The agent is fluent in Russian and has had years of specialised training on how to blend in with the Russian people. he's the perfect sleeper agent.
Down in the darkest dungeons beneath Kremlin the Russian Secret Service (FSS) begin thei...

The Rhyming Competition

The was a very classy rhyming competition and after a long day of working through the brackets there were only two contestants left.
While his opponent waited in a sound-proof room backstage, the defending champion takes the podium. His name is Preston Hughs, a scholar, gentleman, and has many of...

Did you hear about the poet who liked to dip his work in moisturiser?

It was poetry in lotion

Gianna, a beautiful woman, was in the midst of a love triangle with two best friends, Nathan and Joel

Obviously this caused tension between the besties, and as such also troubled Gianna - she liked each one equally.

So on the 11th of February, she spoke to the two lovestruck rivals and challenged them.

"On Valentine's Day, each of you will get me a card - no gift, only a card. The one ...

A Student in Israel

David, an American student went to Israel for a semester to study abroad at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. As part of his program he was placed with a host family for housing. An elderly gentleman named Joshua Levin welcomed him into the large home with many rooms.

As Joshua gave a tour ...

I wrote a joke about pigeons.

Stoned pigeon poetry: High Coo

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.