People always told me my dyslexia would hold me back and I'd never be any good at poetry.

But they couldn't be more wrong. So far I've made two jugs and a vase.

My teacher told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic.

But so far I've made three jugs and a vase and they're lovely.



Edit to add: Thank you for the Gold and Silvers kind strangers!

Whaddya use to decide whether to host a Star Trek poetry event?

A list of prose in Khans.

Poetry in motion

So drivers of midsized Mercury SUV's noticed that when their vehicles got older they developed a permanent thing skin of ice all over the vehicle

Ford technicians quickly investigated the issue and came back with the report that there was nothing to worry about.

They were quoted as sa...

I met a dyslexic girl that told me she was into poetry.

She made me the nicest clay flower pot.

Poetry and Short Stories

"I'm afraid I've caught poetry."

"Oh, really? Well, don't worry, sir. I used to... suffer from short stories."

"Really? When?"

"Oh, once upon a time."

My local prison started a program where inmates get together once a week to read poetry

they're calling it "Prose and Cons"

What do you call someone who works for U-Haul and doesn't appreciate poetry?

An unmoved mover.

A dyslexic friend of mine thought it might help his condition if he joined a poetry club.

He hasn't come out with any poems yet, but he's made some pretty nice jugs and vases and stuff.

My parents always told me I'd never be good at poetry since I'm Dyslexic.

My flower pot and 3 vases are pretty good if I do say so myself.

This morning was all about Shakespeare. This afternoon it's all about his poetry.

Things are going from Bard to Verse



*^(Credit to my mate, Martin)*

Actor Hugh Laurie was so fond of the works of Samuel Beckett that he once devoured an entire anthology of his poetry.

Hugh felt that he deserved to be a poet Laurie ate.

My teachers always told me I couldn't do poetry because of my dyslexia, but I really showed them...

I made a mug, a vase, and a pot just today!

Bathroom Poetry

This little throne I call my own

I aim to keep it neat

So drain your soul, pee down the hole

And not upon the seat

The National poetry contest

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the conte...

I'm considering taking a position to translate old Mongolian poetry

The job has its prose and Khans

What do you call a room full of redheads listening to poetry readings?

Ginger snaps

At the national poetry contest finals,...

The final two contestants were a harvard educated english professor and a redneck from the hills of Alabama. The final task was to write a 4 line poem containing the word timbuktu. Each finalist was given 5 minutes to come up with a poem

After they were given some time to think, the finals ...

I have been weighing the pros and cons about reading poetry to prisoners.

Pros: prose
Cons: cons

What do you call a reptile that goes to a poetry slam?

A snapping turtle.

I dumped a girl because she wouldn’t let me read poetry.

Prose before hoes.

Why are programmers so good at poetry?

Well, all words rhyme in binary.

What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??

Shrekspeare!!!

My friend entered a poetry related pun contest.

He stanza good chance.

Two Brothers and a poetry contest

There were two brothers who were always very competitive. One day they were at a fair together. They approached a stage where they were holding a poetry contest. Poetry was neither of the brothers "thing" but when one brother told the other he could win the whole competition, the battle was on.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The truth is like poetry,

Most people fucking hate poetry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

hey guys

some people down at the library asked me to design a sign for a summit they're hosting on japanese syllabic poetry, and i want a second opinion.

international
haiku appreciation
conference inside

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you ever read Mongolian Poetry?

It has prose and Khans

(Mercilessly re-worded from an /r/Civ shitpost forever ago)

Telling your parents your a philosophy major is like reading them poetry

They snap

What is an English teacher's favourite tree?

Poetry

Poetry cannot be justified.

It's a typography joke.

My pet horse has started writing poetry.

Edgar Allan Poe-ny

My girlfriend's body is like poetry...

...It bores me.


*I really love my girlfriend, and her body is not like poetry, just so ya know :p

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Hike.

Hike who?

I didn’t know you liked Japanese poetry!

Poetry about Pawn Stars

You want a poem?

Best I can do is haiku,

take it or leave it.

There was once a poetry competition...

and it was down to the final two contestants. The first was an English Lit professor from Harvard while the second was a country boy from the back woods of Alabama who had somehow made it that far.

For the finals the moderator says "Gentleman, I will now ask each of you to create a poem usi...

There is a tie for 1st place at a poetry slam...

The two contestants with the equal highest score are a Priest and a Scotsman. To decide which one should be the winner the judges take a random word out of a hat and give both of them 2 minutes to make a short poem with said word. The word being "Timbuktu".

The 2 minutes are up and the pries...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny

The third-grade teacher was teaching English and repeated for her class:



"Mary had a little lamb,
Whose fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go."



She explained this was an example of poetry, but could be changed...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Curious George goes to a bar

A man and his monkey went into a bar,

On his shoulder was the monkey, he went not far.

Shooting pool all day long was what the man did,

The monkey watched as balls cross the table slid.



And then in a flash the small monkey ran down,

Then he picked up the ...

The Rhyming Competition

The was a very classy rhyming competition and after a long day of working through the brackets there were only two contestants left.
While his opponent waited in a sound-proof room backstage, the defending champion takes the podium. His name is Preston Hughs, a scholar, gentleman, and has many of...

You only have enough time to say one word to Edgar Allan Poe who is about to walk into a tree. What do you say?

Poetry!

CIA Agent arrested in Russia

A CIA agent is arrested in Moscow and charged with spying. The agent is fluent in Russian and has had years of specialised training on how to blend in with the Russian people. he's the perfect sleeper agent.
Down in the darkest dungeons beneath Kremlin the Russian Secret Service (FSS) begin thei...

Two men were chatting in a bar

"So what do you do?"

"I write"

"Oh, poetry or prose?"

"Neither, I write cartoons"

"Why's that?"

"No rhyme or reason"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you cross Edgar Allen Poe and an oak?

A sturdy poetry.

Did you hear about the poet who liked to dip his work in moisturiser?

It was poetry in lotion

I wrote a joke about pigeons.

Stoned pigeon poetry: High Coo

Did you hear the Russians tried to invent a new sport?

They had such success with [chessboxing](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chessboxing), where you box one round then play a game of chess, they tried to created another combination sport called baseball poetry. You play an inning of baseball, then compose one poem.

"Ve vere not so gut at it ven v...

There once was a gasman named Peter...

Who, one day while reading the meter
Used a match for a light
He blew out of sight
And as anyone who knows anything about poetry will tell you, he also ruined the meter.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.