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Curator Jokes

An artist talks to his curator about his recent sales

Artist: "So? Did I sell anything?"

Curator: "You won't believe this: a man came by and asked if the value of the paintings will rise after the artist's death. I told him that I think so. So he bought the entire gallery.

Artist: "Wow! That's great! who was he?"

Curator: "It was y...

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A museum curator walks into an art studio...

...and asks the artists to create some art for the American history wing of the museum.

One artist pipes up

“I’m a great history buff, how would you like a piece about Custer’s last stand?”

The curator is pleased with the idea and agrees to pick up the painting in a few days. ...

When the curator of The British Museum was asked how they felt about exotic & foreign art exhibitions, he replied...

We could take them or leave them

The man, the Curator, and the Wax Museum.

A man walks into a wax museum. Inside finds a display of little wick people on a giant map of the United States. However, one of the people, a cowboy is placed in New York City. He calls the curator and asks why that one isn’t over in a place like Texas or Oklahoma.

“Oh, Ed doesn’t fit in ...

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A museum curator was explaining an old gun

'To fire the gun you insert the Flint in the flintlock ; put the ball into the barrel with charge of powder from a powder horn and wad of cotton. The charge is then rammed down the barrel and tapped a few times with ramrod. Then the ramrod is replaced in the holder, the gun is cocked and then it is ...

Why did the robot become a museum curator?

Because he was an Art-Offical Intelligence

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel...

and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare occurrence in Israel, to say the least. After examining it, he called Abe, the curator of the Israel museum in Jerusalem.

"I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed....

A man walked into a Star Wars museum

...carrying an old rusted bucket by his side and demanded to know who was in charge.

"What can I help you with today, sir?" asked the confused curator.

"This here is an authentic piece of European history and once belonged to the King of England 1000 years ago."

"But," stutte...

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The artist and the museum (long)

An artist is approached by a man who says he's to be the curator of a new museum dedicated to General George Custer and he wanted to hire the artist to paint a mural that was to be the centerpiece of the largest display.

The artist agrees and asks the curator if he had any particular subject...

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At the National Art Gallery in Dublin

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.


Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The cu...

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An art student is visiting the National Gallery in Wales.

About halfway around, they spot a large painting of three black men sitting on a bench, all three buck naked. Even more strangely, the one in the middle has an entirely pink penis.

A curator sees the art student observing the painting and approaches.

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” He says. ...

An archaeologist was digging in the desert outside Jerusalem...

An archaeologist was digging in the desert outside Jerusalem, when he found a crude sarcophagus. On opening it, he discovered a mummy completely intact. On further investigation, he determined that he must have this mummy inspected by professionals, so he called a museum in Jerusalem and told the cu...

A man walks into a museum.

While wandering, he trips and breaks a vase.
He panicks and picks the pieces up.
But the curator appears and almost has a heart attack.
"What have you done! that vase was 2000 years old." He shrieks.
"Oh thank God." The man sighs in relief. " I thought it was brand new."

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An art joke

A couple found a painting in an art gallery, the painting showed 3 black men, 2 eating sandwiches on a bench, all naked, yet the man in the middle had a white penis and had no sandwich.

The couple looked at this painting, puzzled, they asked the curator what it meant.

"well, you see, ...

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There’s a painting in a museum of 3 naked black men sitting on a bench, but the man in the middle has a pink penis.

The artist behind the painting is unknown, and no one really knows why the man in the middle has a pink penis. The curator has a story about how pink represents equality at birth, however the true reason was unknown. One day there was a couple touring the museum, and they spent quite a bit of time e...

a man walks into a giftshop.

he peruses the items until something out of the ordinary catches his eye. it is a rat casted in solid gold. he picks it up and takes it to the man running the shop to inquire about its significance. the man says;"well the rat itself costs $10 but you really should buy the story that goes along with ...

The Scrabble museum was robbed last night.

the curators are at a loss for words.

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Three explorers are in Egypt (long)

and they stumble upon some old ruins. In the ruins they find a big room, with three doors. The first explorer, Henry, goes up to the door and reads: "Who ever enters this door will die a fiery death." He doesn't believe in superstitions, so he goes through the door to find a long hallway. At the end...

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An elderly priest was found in the Vatican library weeping inconsolably...

He had ancient manuscripts spread out in front of him. Some curators walked up to him and said "What is the matter, Father?"

Between sobs, he replied: "Some bastard dropped the 'R'. It was supposed to say CELEBRATE!"

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