Opposed Jokes

Seminole Fluid doesn't sound quite as good.

“You just don’t like him because he’s German, not Greek!” she cried.

“No, that’s not it at all,” he mother replied. “We just want you to consider whether you really want to go the rest of your life with the name Philomina Krotch.”

Three men who don’t know each other sits in a prison cell. Each explains why he was arrested.

The first man said: “I opposed covid testing.”

The second man said: “I supported covid testing.”

The third man said: “I administered the covid tests.”

It’s not the emails that are the problem. It’s the attachments.

Is itself named us

DEVELOPED

But, I'm not sure how to show it.

She’s convinced they cause autism.

When the great famine arrived, he realized he was going to have to eat Kro.

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

They do this for two reasons;

One, The scientists become less attached to the lawyers.

And two, there are certain things that even *rats* won't do.


(This is a joke from the film, **Hook**. I never realized how funny it was)

The lawyer rubs the lamp, and the genie comes out.


"You have three wishes," the genie says. "The only rule is that you can't wish for more wishes."


After thinking for a while, the lawyer finally says, "I wish the word *splork* were interchangeable with the word *wish*. Nex... read more

On one hand I'm opposed to change but on the other I'm opposed to change.

As opposed to what? ADULTS being born on Tuesdays?

...because they never deliver.

*ba dum pish*

As opposed to dead baby jokes, which never get old.

Husband: "Fancy a quicky."
Wife: "As opposed to what ?"

One of the men asks the other, "What are you in for?"

He responds, "I opposed Comrade Popov in 1937. What about you?"

The first man replies "I supported Comrade Popov in 1938. How about you?" he asks the third man

The third man says "I am Comrade Popov."

As opposed to what, Canada B?

Im not opposed, it just makes cents

Apparently they opposed integration.

As opposed to guitarists, there's no strings attached.

The leader of the village opposed the installation, but the US government overruled him.

One foggy morning, the village leader said to his people, "I told you that thing no good. Look at it: light flash, bell ring, horn go woo-woo. But fog come in, just like always."

He opposed all the biathletes

[Disclaimer: I don't know whether this counts as a joke, if not please tell me which subreddit would be suitable, 'cause it's actually a pretty fun "story"]

First question: how long did the Hundred Years War last?

a) 99 years

b) 116 years

c) 100 years

d) 150 years<... read more

Donald Trump was talking about how opposed to it he was, but I thought to myself, come on Don, you're a businessman. I bet you wouldn't be this upset if you could charge them an early termination fee.

... Here they ended up talking shop, and the first proclaimed:

"The easiest patients to operate on, are accountants! All their organs are numbered."


The second surgeon did dissagree:

"I think the easiest patients to operate on, are painters! All their organs got different co... read more

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

but the thumb and forefinger were opposed!

As we all know, crows are very smart animals. They've learned that if they drop a nut into traffic, cars will run over it and break it open. This is usually performed by 2 crows; one to do the dropping and retrieving, and the second to signal no the first one when traffic is clear and it's safe to g... read more

I'm utterly opposed to any form of egg cracking on anyone's head and I totally condemn the act of the underage violent vigilante who cracked an egg on senators head. However with that being said what it highlights is the endless distribution and importing of eggs all around the world. Rising fear of... read more