This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man took a girl he just met back to his place, she said she wanted sex, but only if he had protection. He quickly whispered in her ear, "up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start"

"what was that?" She asked.

"Contra-ception"

A man, his wife and the doctor are in the hospital while the wife gives birth

Husband: are you ok?

Wife: I am ok, I’m really not, this feels great, this is the worst pain of my life

Husband: what does this mean?

Doctor: don’t worry, those are just the contradictions

To discourage slacking all retro games have been removed from jails

Officers were upset to find Contra banned in the prison

TIL in 1988 the Konami sound department was arrested

They were apparently dealing with Contra Band.

Our priest decided to let us play video game music in church...

...but it was Contra-verse-al.

Saw a new movie the other day...

It was about a guy who dreamt he was a condom.
It was called Contra-ception.

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