How do you tell between a boy ant and a girl ant?

Drop it in water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's boyant

Why don't ants get sick?

Because they have little anty bodies

Two ants, a mother and her daughter, were walking through their underground city.

They were having a lovely day until they came upon a group of protesters outside the queen's domain. One man with a sign reading "It's time to GO!" spotted them and quickly approached.

"Excuse me ma'am, but do you have a moment to take a look at some alarming literature and help support our ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob the ant wanted to be a stand-up comedian

He had a wild, bold, and crazy personality and sense of humor. He knew he would be hilarious if he just had the opportunity to get in front of a crowd.
 

So Bob the ant went around town auditioning for gigs. He let his crazy attitude go full force at the judges. They weren’t too impressed,...

What is worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles.

Both Spider-Man and Ant-Man got fired from their job.

That really bugs me.

An ant sees an anthill and wonders if it's for sale.

Shortly after, he sees a number of ants approach him.

He asked, "Are you the owners?"

They replied "We're ten ants."

Why are there so many ants in Paris?

Because it's France.

What do you call it when Iron-Man wears the Ant-Man suit?

Tiny Stark

I recently placed a sugar cube for an ant

When he left to get the rest of the ants, I quickly removed the sugar cube. Now everyone else thinks he lied.

An ant is lying in its deathbed in North Korea.

He calls his son and says he wanted to tell him something for a long time.

Son Ant : What is it dad?

Father Ant : I cannot say that in this god forbidden country we have to move immediately to France or Italy before i am dead.

Confused,the Son Ant made arrangements to move to Fr...

What do you call the ant that keeps track of all the food in a colony?

A count Ant

Pink Panther’s to do list

- To do
- To do
- To do, to do, to do, to do, to do, to dooooo

Why did the ant name its middle segment "Stormbreaker"?

Because that was its Thor axe.

What did the father ant say to his son when they moved from america to france

Son, we are now Europeants.

what do you call ants in a hotel?

tenants

What do you call the Ant Man when he becomes super big?

giANT man.

Do not ever rent an apartment to an ant.

As soon as they sign the lease they then become tenants.

When the Pink Panther stepped on an ant, what song did they play?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant......

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Do ants have dicks?

No cause then they’d be uncles

An ant gets a job at Starbucks

That's it, that's the ant-hire joke.

Why Was The Baby Ant Confused?

Because all of its uncles were ants!

I was constantly praised and flattered by a colony of ants....

It turns out that they were sycophants!

Did you hear about the ant who stored his food inside a keyboard?

He's got everything under CTRL

Billy the ant scientist.

Once there was a mad scientist named Billy obsessed with experimenting on ants. For the this he earned the nickname "Ant billy" Billy ant" or "that weird ant dude" or variations there of and was generally considered a laughingstock of the town.

Determined to not be such a goddamn failure anym...

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If Ant Man did beat Thanos by crawling up his butt

Would it be considered an inside job?

An ant walked up to me and told me a bad pun, so I squashed it.

Pun ant ended

What’s the opposite of a fire ant?

A fire resist-ant

An American tourist is traveling in Thailand and stops over in a small border village for a meal. While the inside of the restaurant is rather small and modest, it does have a beautifully designed ant farm covering most of one wall. Curious, he asks the old man running the restaurant about it.

“Ah,” says the old man. “I use the ant eggs to make a dish called maengman chom. The Cambodians who visit here especially love it; they spend so many riel on it that I had that display made to show off the ants. It’s a specialty of mine; would you like to try some?”

“Ant eggs are a little exo...

Punny Ant Jokes

What is the dumbest ant?
Ignorant.

What is the bossier ant?
Tyrant.

How many insects does it take to make a landlord?
Ten ants.

What ant is the biggest?
Elephant.

What ant is a military officer?
Sergeant.

An ant has been living under my keyboard for a while but now I’ve managed to make it stay under only one key

Don’t worry I’ve got it under ctrl

How many ants do you need to rent out a place?

Tenants

Why don't ants go to church? I

Because they are in sects.

Ba dum tiss

An ant knocked on the door of a house.

The house owner opened the door.

"I want a place to stay," said the ant.

"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free" said the owner.

Thankful, the ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the
o...

Told my nephew the story of the grasshopper and the ant. The ant saved up for winter while the grasshopper didn't. I asked my nephew at the end of the story Me:What is the moral of the story?

Nephew: You should never live in a Fall's sense of security

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny was sitting by an ant hill squashing every ant he could

A priest and a nun came upon Johnny doing this and asked Johnny to stop. Then asked why Johnny would do such a thing.

Johnny: These ants are useless, and I'm mashing them.

The nun and priest were appalled at his reply, "No, no! Nothing in God's beautiful creation is useless!"

Jo...

Will an Ant trip if you...

Give it antacid?

Why are the cow, whale and ant best friends?

Because they form cow-whale-ant bond

What do kids like to play in a room infested with ants?

The floor is larva.

Why don’t ant eaters get sick?

They have lots of anty bodies inside them.

What is the difference between a non vaccinated child and a fire ant?

A fire ant can live up to 6 years

(91 year old grandfather told me this one) why don't ants freeze in the winter?

because they have ANTi-freeze

To the guy who stole my antidepresants,

I hope you're happy now

I haven't done much in my life, but I did teach basic arithmetics to ants...

It's the little things that count.

What kind of ant is good at math?

An accountant!

Why did Antman stop talking when he joined the x men??

He became a mute ant.

Ant - the hero.

Ant asks giraffe: Can I f...k you?

Giraffe though: what the hell, he's small I even can't feel it. Here you are, my boy.

After a few minutes, she put her long neck into high voltage cables lifted high over the ground.

Ant start to screem: Shake it, baby, yeahhhh!!!

Did you hear Charlize Theron has been cast in the next Ant-Man movie?

It's going to be called "Subatomic Blonde."

What do ants dress up as on Halloween?

Exoskeletons.

When it comes to women, I'm like an ant:

I pull three times my own weight.

How do you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles

The king of the insect kingdom is feeling depressed...

So he asks his advisors for help. The king says, "Oh, advisors, I am feeling quite sad. Our life is so short as insects and we don't do anything but work!"

The advisors tell him that he needs to find the best joke ever to cheer him up. The king thinks this is a good idea so he travels the kin...

Two ants were walking down a road, side by side.

One ant says to the other, "You know, despite how incredibly successful our species is, our tiny brains are nowhere near having the capability to comprehend language like humans do."

The other replies, "Yeah, I really wish people would stop anthropomorphizing us in their jokes."

One ant is fine

The rest are redundANT

My Biology teacher told me ants are female

The males are called uncles

What do you call a couple of ants sharing a slice of pizza in Italy?

Romance

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