Why don’t ants get Covid?

Because they have tiny little anty bodies.

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles.

Ants are nature's biggest simps

Millions follow their queen when she uses OnlyPheromones.

Y'know how ants will sacrifice themselves to form a bridge?

I read that when ants approach an obstacle such as water/oil/etc they will sacrifice themselves and form a chain to create a bridge across said obstacle. The coolest part to me is that the males specifically line up to form the bridge and protect the females. Apparently this is because they are not ...

Why do ants have eyes?

So they can see.


(Downvote if you like ant eye humour doesn't really belong on this sub

A mother ant and her daughter were out for a walk in their underground city.

They were having a lovely day until they came upon a group of protesters outside the queen's domain. One, with a sign reading *It's time to GO!,* spotted them and quickly approached.

"Excuse me ma'am, can you spare a moment to take a look at some alarming literature and help support our cause...

What is Ant-Man's secret weapon?

His Thor Axe

An elephant and an ant got into an argument.

The elephant lost his temper decided he was going to squash the ant.

The ant exclaimed, "ONLY IF YOU CAN CATCH ME!!!!" and ran off.

Elephants is chasing the ant, and as ant rounds a corner, he sees a rabbit.

"Yo, rabbit! Can I hide out in your fur? This elephant wants to kill m...

The discriminatory ant colony banished all ants over 4 mm tall

They had no taller ants

Landlord of the ants

I saw a group of 10 ants just running frantically in my room. I felt bad, so I made a small house for them out of a cardboard box.

This technically makes me their landlord and they are my
.
.
.
Tenants.

Last week, I discovered a colony of black ants in my kitchen.

They live in a crack in my kitchen wall.

This kitchen is in the apartment flat I'm renting by myself.

I've counted a total of seven ants crawling out of the crack, and there's presumably one queen inside too.

I know there's a queen because just yesterday, one male ant was gone, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the two ants that liked to hang out on the toilet seat?

One got pissed off.

Why do ant colonies never get sick?

They’re full of anty-bodies!

What do you call a group of rebellious ants?

Protestants

What do you call 10 friendly ants that keep everything working in your house?

Maintenance

What did the pink panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant...

What do you call an ant that’s been shunned by his community?

Socially dist-ant

Did you know that ants can't contact COVID-19?

Because they have anty bodies.

Why do ants don't go to church.?

Because they are in sects.

How do you tell the difference between a female and male ant?

A girl ant sinks in water.

A buoyant floats.

The Mighty Ant

Why can't ants get Covid 19?





They have tiny ant-y bodies!

Why don't ants get COVID-19? (Part 2)

It's not because they have anty-bodies; not because they tend to be resist-ant to viruses (even though most of them are anti-vaxxers); it's not even the fact that they use disinfect-ant whilst being socially dist-ant. They don't get it simply because they just can't.

How do ants communicate with each other?

With their antennae of course!

How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?

Well, if it were a boy ant he’d be an uncle!

What do you call a five-legged ant?

A pendant....

Whenever an ant gets injured, instead of helping, the rest of the colony just leaves it to die. It’s like the old saying goes:

If an ant broke, dont fix it

Fun Facts about ants

So as you may or may not know, ants have many breeds, but above these breeds, two general groups can be seen in ants around the world. These groups are the Macro ants (Big ants), and the Micro ants (Small ants).

Multiple different breeds of ants can be found in each of the two groups (Such ...

What rests on the ground between my feet and is covered in ants?

My ice cream cone. =(

*Inspired by actual events.

So I killed an ant this morning,

but now my dad won’t stop crying about his sister’s funeral.

Two friends are arguing...

"Look, I have a colony of ants!"

"Well, I have taller ants than you"

"Oh, well I have a tube of glue"

"Hah, I have an entire tin"

"I got bread!"

"Argh, you win! I can't handle that bread with my glue tin 'n' taller ants"

What did the trout and the carpenter ant name their online business?

Efishant

What do you call someone who has never paid attention to ants?

Ignorant.

Why is Ant-Man immune from getting coronavirus?

Because he has an anty-body!

"Why all ants are female?"

Because otherwise they would be called Uncles.

I wonder if eating ants will prevent you from getting covid.

They got anty bodies

An ant, an aunt, an antechamber, an antelope and an antenna walk into a bar.

The barman asks "what is this, an anti-joke?"

The ant replies: "no".

It's been scientifically proven ants can't get Covid-19

They have little antibodies

A u‌‌niversity s‌‌tudent w‌‌anted t‌‌o s‌‌it n‌‌ext t‌‌o o‌‌ne o‌‌f h‌‌is t‌‌eachers a‌‌t l‌‌unch.

However, t‌‌he t‌‌eacher l‌‌ooked a‌‌t t‌‌he s‌‌tudent w‌‌ith a‌‌n a‌‌rrogant f‌‌ace a‌‌nd s‌‌aid, "A s‌‌wan s‌‌han't b‌‌e f‌‌riends w‌‌ith a‌‌ p‌‌ig."

"Then I‌‌ s‌‌hall f‌‌ly o‌‌n", a‌‌nswered t‌‌he s‌‌tudent w‌‌ith a‌‌ s‌‌mile.

The t‌‌eacher w‌‌as c‌‌learly v‌‌exed b‌‌y t‌‌he c‌‌heek...

An ant falls out of an airplane, how did it die?

Starved to death on the way down.

(Translated from Mandarin, every Chinese kid knows this joke, not sure if it works in English).

Why do fish form schools, but ants form colonies?

Cause *truants* don't go to school!

(I came up with this right now)

What's another reason why ants don't get coronavirus

Because they are good at keeping six feet apart

Which department do you call when ants go missing?

Dept. of Finance


I'll see myself out now....

Why do 9 ants get to live in an apartment for free?

Because they’re not tenants

I set my burrito down on the window sill and went to get a drink. When I came back, there was a long line of ants running into my food!!

I hate sill ant row!

I had a chance to buy an ant that had been on a recent trip to the ISS...

But it was too exorbitant for an ex-orbit ant.

Went to the hardware store today. I picked up a can of insecticide and asked the assistant if it was any good for ants....

"Nope" said the man, "it will kill them."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Staff Seargent

(Heard this a long time ago, and in another language. Not sure if has been posted before ! )

A staff sergeant was going out of state for work, and was suspicious of his wife.

So, the night before he is leaving. While his wife is a sleep. He places a razor blade in her vagina.
...

Why doesn't ants believe in God?

... Because they're in sects.

10 ants were looking for a new place to live...

The 1 ant, 2 ant, and 3 ant bought houses in the country.

The 4 ant, 5 ant, and 6 ant bought houses in the city.

The 7 ant, 8 ant, and 9 ant bought houses at the beach.

The 10 ant decided to rent.

An ant walks into this Reddit sub.

The bar is set really low here.

I bought an ant farm.

I don’t know where I’m gonna find a tractor that small.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to burn ants with a magnifying glass.

But now I'm focusing on something else.

What do you call a confident and stylish young fire ant?

Flamboyant

Ants in your tummy

A guy complained to his doctor about stomach pain and after a quick x-ray his doctor tells him he has ants living in his lower intestines. The doctor tells him to buy a watermelon and poke a hole in it and sit on the hole so the queen ant can come down, taste it, and call out the rest of the ants so...

What do you call a really old ant?

Ant-ique.

How do you know an ant is Male.

You cant .
Because if it is , they'll be called uncles .

Why don't ant-eaters get Coronavirus?

Because they contain lots of little antibodies

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.

These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.

What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."

Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.

Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Ha...

My friend and I opened a gym for ants.

He thinks the business is failing and quit this morning but I’m still working out the bugs.

What will happen if you silence an ant?

It'll become "mutant".

Why can’t 9 ants rent an apartment?

Because they aren’t ten-ants

An indoor ant meets an outdoor ant

He says "In the house I was at, there was a very skilled guy; He could throw a coin at a hairdryer and it would turn on. That really blew me away!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nine medical tests you can do yourself.

Wander into the back garden and piss on your neighbor’s fence (again).

If it dries quickly, you have high sodium (salt) levels and pending heart problems.

If it attracts ants your sugar level is too high and you might be diabetic.

If your piss is dark and of limited quantity, yo...

Why do male ants float in water ?

Because they are boy-ant

Once upon a time a lonely ant met a handsome fish.

Once upon a time a lonely ant met a handsome fish. Despite everyone telling them it was wrong, they fell in love.

One day they eloped and moved into a cottage by a pond. Their only neighbor was Mr. Frog

They lived many happy years together and then something unexpected happened; they h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

THESE GAH DAMN ANTS

A priest was walking down the sidewalk when he came across a young boy who was burning ants with a magnifying glass. As the priest got closer he could hear the boy saying "THESE GAH DAMN ANTS".

The priest stopped the young boy and said "son, God made these ants therefore they are not useless....

Why do the older ants go up the side of the mountain and the younger ants go down the side of the mountain?

Because they're descendants!

If I was an ant, where would I live?

In an engine, coz I'd be a coolant

Why didn’t the 11 ants get let into the ant hill?

Because the ant hill is for ten ants only.

(NSFW) The elephant and the ant

An ant stood by the river, need to go to the other side.
Desperately looking around and can’t find any way to cross.
Then...

An elephant went by

The ant goes “hi mister elephant, would you do me a favour and take me to the other side?”

The elephant say “sure little ant, j...

Did you hear about the ants that made a Teeter Totter out of a toothpick and half a crumb?

Well it didn't work, so they had to use a FULLCRUMB

What's Adam Ant's favourite flavour of ice cream?

Standard Vanilla

Did you know, when ants come into your house, if there are 2 less than a dozen, you have to let them stay.

They have rights as ten-ants.

I usually feed Tums to ants

Because it's like antacid to them.

What do you call two ants who have a baby together?

Pair ants

One of my favourite jokes as a kid, for my cake day

An Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman are all traveling together. It's late, and they've found a hotel to sleep at. However, when they try to book rooms, they find that the hotel is nearly fully booked.
"I'm sorry," says the receptionist. "We only have 3 beds left, and they're all very uncomfort...

An ant knocked on the door of a house.

The house owner opened the door.

"I want a place to stay," said the ant.

"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free" said the owner.

Thankful, the ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the
o...

My Korean girlfriend makes some cute mistakes when speaking English. For example:

"Fishing stick" instead of "Fishing rod"

"Tropical tree" instead of "Palm tree"

"Ant-licker" instead of "Uncle"

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