A man walks through the Central Park in New York City

Suddenly he sees a dog attacking a small girl. He runs towards them, starts a fight with the dog and finally kills it. So he saves the life of the girl.

A policeman was watching them, walks to the man and says:

You are a hero! Tomorrow in the new York Times the first headline will be: ...

I have a joke about Islamic financing

But there’s no interest .

What do you call an Islamic cow?

A Mooslim.

A non-Muslim guy and a Muslim woman are deeply in love

Guy converts to Islam and marries her.

Law says guy has to study Islam too.

Guy goes to a one-week Islamic crash course.

Guy finds out something new and says to his wife:

"Baby, guess who can have four wives now?"

Why do islamic people dont play chess?

Because the woman can move freely

Its not the Islamic suicide bombers you need to worry about...

Its the Buddhist ones - they keep coming back!

Islamic pubs and bars are the worst

You can't drink alcohol
Or dance.


Women can get Stoned though, no questions asked.

My wife cooked me a beautiful Islamic dinner from the Middle Ages last night.

It was very Moorish.

Did you hear about that Islamic singer?

His songs were Shiite

Snow isn’t a problem is Islamic countries but....

ISIS

The mothers of two Islamic State jihadists are exchanging pictures of their sons

Mother 1 - ‘This is my boy as a baby, and this one him growing up to be a man, and this picture is just before he gave himself up for jihadi’.

Mother 2 - ‘So beautiful. You know, they blow up so quick’.

What’s the difference between an islamic hide out and an Afghan pine nut farm?

I don’t know, I just fly the drones.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Syrian kid in France.

A Syrian kid and his refugee family move to France. On his first day of school his teacher asks him "what is your name?". To which he politely responds, "My name is Abdul and I am from Syria (Middle-East accent)..She abruptly stops him and corrects him.
"No! From now on you are French and your n...

What do you call an Islamic capitalist?

Profit Muhammad

I used to think that Islamic countries were tight on their drug laws...

...but that can't be right. They still let women get stoned, don't they?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Muslim , a Jew and a Christian stood on the sides of Vatican entrance...

An Arab dressing as a Muslim man stood at the Vatican gate with a few Quran books and leaflets about Islam to sell. There was a flag with Islamic words behind him.

Just next to him, stood an Arab dressing as a Jewish with few books of Torah to be sold. There was a flag with Hebrew words behin...

What do you call an Islamic place of worship in Ecuador?

A "mosquito"

Sky News: Islamic State have been defeated.

Is that the opposite of being beheaded?.

My buddy and I have a picture of the Islamic God on the smart card inside our mobile phones.

We're very SIM Allah.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've never really understood it why would you become an Islamic suicide bomber on the off-chance you might get 72 virgins when you die.

Become a Catholic priest and get them now.

Q: How does every Islamic joke start?

A: By looking over your shoulder.

The weather were having is so islamic...

It's either Sunni or Shiite.

How many people did the Islamic suicide bomber intend to kill?

Allah them.

What do you call a radically Islamic cowboy?

A yeehawdist

You know what I have to say about Islamic dietary restrictions?

HA LAL

I thought of an idea for a new reality TV show...

It's about a group of Middle Easter Islamic terrorists that are entering their 40s. They stop buying an excessive amount of guns and explosives and instead start purchasing luxery cars and motorcycles. I call the show Midlife ISIS.

What do you call an islamic crime syndicate?

A gang bang

A couple are on a blind date. She, a New York realtor; he, a Russian businessman. After a lovely dinner, conversation turns to world affairs, and the man expresses some anti-Islamic views.

The woman is incensed, but the guy is cute so she decides to give him a second chance: “I don’t know what’s acceptable in Russia, but I don’t want to hear any of that bigoted rhetoric. Not another word! I’m going to the washroom to cool off and we’ll try again.” As the woman leaves the table the...

A top Islamic cleric today condemned President Trump for being anti muslim

Trump tweeted back 'This is just fakir news'

What’s the Islamic equivalent of cafeteria Christianity?

Allah-cart.

What do you call a group of Islamic people living in poor housing?

Muslums

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Islamic terrorist blows himself up and ascends to paradise.

When he gets there he's greeted by Allah and an elderly lady who immediately wraps her frail arms round the terrorist, removes her false teeth and gives him a huge sloppy kiss.

Confused, the terrorist says, "Allah, I'm sorry to question your benevolence, but I thought there would be 72 virgi...

What do you call an Islamic militant Shakespeare?

The Allahu Ak-Bard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does the Islamic State have sex education classes and driver's education in different weeks?

So it's not too hard on the goats.

What do you do if your Islamic dog bites you?

Muslim

What do you call Shakespeare’s works in Mecca?

Islamic pentameter

A man is walking in Central park in New York....

A man is walking in Central park in New York sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.

He runs over and starts fighting with the dog.

He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

A journalist arriving soon takes pictures and says: - "You are a hero, tomo...

The British Islamic Association has said there is no longer room for extremists within their mosques...

Although a waiting list has been set up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is it so easy to find a prostitute in Islamic countries?

They're always just a stone's throw away.

What do radical Islamic wrappers spit?

Allahu Ak-BARS

Help! A terrorist is drowning!

This morning, around 7:00 AM, I went for my stroll around the marina, I noticed a man running down the dock toward me dressed in Islamic clothing who shouted "Allah be praised!" and "Death to all Infidels!", when suddenly he tripped and fell into the water.

He was struggling to stay afloat be...

What's an Alcoholic Islamic extremists worst nightmare?

A-Locked-Bar

What do you call a Muslim on a toilet?

Islamic Relief

What was the Islamic Star Wars fan for Halloween?

Hijabba the Hut

I went to the Islamic book store

I went to the Islamic book store in London and asked if they have the book about Muslim deportation.

The guy says get the hell out of here and never come back.
I replied yes that's the one, how much.

Have you heard of 'Dear White People'? I think that Netflix should make a 'Dear Islamic Extremists' show.

That show would blow up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While walking through the mall I spotted the Islamic Book Store and I went in.

The clerk asked me, "can I help you?" I said, "yes, can you tell me where I can find Donald Trump's book on refugees?" He turned beet red and said, "eat shit, get the fuck out and stay out." I said, "yes, that's the one, now where is it located?"

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven is an Islamic refugee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I figured out why so many Islamic Terrorists hate Americans.

It's because we all have our dicks out for haram babes

Once the Islamic State becomes recognized by the UN maybe they'll start entering the miss world contest...

...I bet their Miss Islamic State is going to be the bomb.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Islamic Book Shop

I went into an Islamic book shop the other day. I was walking round, looking for a book but couldn't find what i wanted. Eventually, the cashier came over and asked if he could help. So i said "Do you happen to have the British Immigration Policy Book for Muslims"?
The cashier said angrily "Fuck ...

What's the difference?

What's the difference between an Islamic elementary school and an Al queda base?

I don't know I just fire the drone.




Sry if it's a repost heard it the other day irl thought I would share it.

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