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Activists Jokes

These climate change activists need to relax, i don’t have a carbon footprint

I Just drive everywhere instead

Van Gogh masterpiece defaced by Just Stop Oil activists in London.

A spokesman for the group said, 'We will not rest until all 19th century painters switch to acrylics or watercolours.'

How many Just Stop Oil activists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Doesn’t matter, they can’t change anything

Eco-activists, as a protest, splashed paint on a famous Jackson Pollock painting

No-one noticed.

How many fat activists does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is beautiful the way it is. Society needs to change and learn to accept and stop shaming lightbulbs that don’t conform to its standards.

A group of vegan activists told me that people who sell meat are gross

I told them people who sell fruit & veg are grocer

Homeless people are the most persistent activists in society.

Not a single day goes by without them asking for change!

Why are Social Justice Activists always warriors?

Because they don't have a high enough intelligence to be Social Justice Mages.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Goddamn I hate arguing with dogs’ rights activists

They’re all such bitches

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do pro-life activists call a chronic masturbator?

Jack-off the Ripper.

Irish animal rights activists have broken into a turkey farm.

They say they are going to release thousands of turkeys into the wild...

as soon as they’ve defrosted

How many social justice activists does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be silly. Social justice activists can't change anything.

A group of animal rights activists attempted to poison a barbecue

However, the poison didn't work. Should have tested it on animals.

Activists Sued for Copyright Violation after portraying Trump as Jafar in Aladdin Stage Show.

Judge says Pantomime to Tyrancy was Tantamount to Piracy.

I've heard all the environmental activists' arguments for banning plastic products...

and they're really just grasping at straws.

Did you hear the French rioted in the streets after losing the World Cup?

When is society going to come to terms with the fact that these anti-FIFA activists are bad for civil society?

What do you call a civil rights activists who's also a shower sponge?

Martin Loofah King

There's a support group for burned-out hacker/activists who want to give up the habit.

It's called Anonymous Anonymous.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A butler comes up to his lord reading a book to tell him something urgent.

"Milord?" says the butler.

"Yes, Alfred? What do you need?" answers his lord.

"I am sorry for this interuption but I've found some monkey that is up on one of the palm trees we have planted in our garden recently, milord." explained himself Alfred.

Lord sighs, closes his book an...

A thug walks into a bar.

He sees a lone man sitting in front of his beer, crying.
He walks up to him, pushes him off the chair, slaps him left and right in the face and drinks his beer.

The man then started crying even louder and sobbing in absolute desperation.
The thug, annoyed, yelled: Why are you crying lik...

The Pope's Alaska Visit

The Pope went on vacation to visit Alaska. He was cruising in the Pope-Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion. He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a 'Vote for Bernie' hat and a 'Save the Trees' shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, trying to free himself from t...

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