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Terrorism Jokes

They say you can't tell a funny joke about terrorism, but you can.

It's all in the execution.

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"

Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

Global warming can reduce terrorism

because the isis melting.

Osama Bin Laden tried doing standup comedy before terrorism

He bombed.

A old woman was arrested on terrorism charges today

A elderly woman was arrested on terrorism charges at Heathrow airport today.

She had tried to bring a bomb onto a plane with her.

When questioned as to why she did such a thing she said she was deathly afraid of her plane being blown up by a terrorist and thought the chances of two bom...

Did you hear about the train engineer from Mexico that was arrested for terrorism?

Authorities say he had loco motives.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Terrorism is a serious issue

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 194...

The War on Terrorism....

....God's way of teaching Geography to Americans.

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..

The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.

"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"

"But why?" the guy protests.

"You have been c...

How does a mathematician want to solve terrorism?

He wants to simplify the radicals.

On a flight from Dubai to NYC, I met a cheerful gentleman from Pakistani. He stressed that Pakistan is now a new country, peaceful & totally against terrorism

To prove his point, he decided not to hijack the plane.

I get so mad when I see people leaving unattended bags at the airport in this age of terrorism.

I can’t take it anymore.

Right wing terrorism and left wing terrorism are similar

But left wing terrorism is worse. Because right wing terrorism burns foreigners, and left wing terrorism burns cars, and it could have been my car.

School of Terrorism, Suicide Bomber course...

Instructor: *Alright pay attention class, I'm only gonna do this once.*

What's the difference between abortion and terrorism?

Terrorism is funded by the US government!

What did the ghost say during its planned act of terrorism?

Allaboo Akbar.

When he was president, George W. Bush decided to visit a school...

...so the kids could ask him questions.

'Mr. President, my name is Bob and I'd like to ask three questions,' says the first kid.

'Alright, ask away,' says Bush.

'My first question: why do you label everything as "terrorism"? My second question is: why do you always say we have t...

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