Did you hear about the train engineer from Mexico that was arrested for terrorism?

Authorities say he had loco motives.

Osama Bin Laden tried doing standup comedy before terrorism

He bombed.

Decrease the odds of terrorism on a plane

The odds of a suicide bomber being on your plane are 1 in 10 million.

The odds of two random unrelated suicide bombers on the same plane are virtually impossible.

So if you want to guarantee that you won’t die from another suicide bomber on your flight then you should wear a bomb.

Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism?

The ISIS melting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Terrorism is a serious issue

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 194...

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..

The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.

"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"

"But why?" the guy protests.

"You have been c...

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"

Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

Americans are so lucky

Americans are so lucky that wherever they fight terrorism they manage to find oil.

On a flight from Dubai to NYC, I met a cheerful gentleman from Pakistani. He stressed that Pakistan is now a new country, peaceful & totally against terrorism

To prove his point, he decided not to hijack the plane.

They say you can't tell a funny joke about terrorism, but you can.

It's all in the execution.

How does a mathematician want to solve terrorism?

He wants to simplify the radicals.

Say what you will about terrorism in Europe

At least our planes take off and land at an airport.

The War on Terrorism....

....God's way of teaching Geography to Americans.

School of Terrorism, Suicide Bomber course...

Instructor: *Alright pay attention class, I'm only gonna do this once.*

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are reading a script at lunch...

It's for Stallone's new movie *The Composers*, about the descendants of famous European composers joining forces to fight terrorism. Stallone says he'll play Beethoven, "My theme will be ode to joy. But get this: Joy is the name of my shotgun."

"Nice," says Norris. "I'll be Mozart, and I'...

What's the difference between abortion and terrorism?

Terrorism is funded by the US government!

What did the ghost say during its planned act of terrorism?

Allaboo Akbar.

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