Whatever you may say,Amy Schumer is extremely talented

I mean, who can steal jokes from others and still remain unfunny.

Haters, Amy Schumer just got another Netflix special announced, who's laughing now

^(still nobody)

2 Cannibals are eating Amy Schumer

Cannibal 1: “Does this taste funny to you?”

Cannibal 2: “No.”

Question: If it's not funny, is it still a joke?

Answer: In the case of Amy Schumer, yes.

When she was growing up, everybody laughed when Amy Schumer said she wanted to be a comedian...

Nobody's laughing now.

A blond City girl named Amy marries a N. Dakota rancher.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'

The ...

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Jack Daniels?

Jack Daniels comes alive when you add Coke.

How conservative will Amy Coney Barrett's decisions be as a Supreme Court Justice?

I don't know, ask her husband.

What's the difference between Amy Schumer and dark jokes?

Dark jokes make me laugh.

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I kind of feel bad for Amy Schumer over people calling her unfunny.

I mean can you imagine being so bad at comedy that you have to steal *shitty* jokes?

Amy Schumer asks a genie to become the funniest person on earth.

The next day she wakes up and is the only person on earth.

Do you think Amy Schumer knows about this community?

Her career could skyrocket if she discovered us.

I attended Amy Schumer's party, but there was no talk about her.

Apparently, nobody wanted to mention the elephant in the room.

Who is Greta Thunbergs favorite comedian.

Amy schumer because she recycles all her jokes!

I failed my audition as Amy Schumer

I told an actual joke.

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Amy Schumer porn

Fuck this isn’t google...

Maybe the end of Amy Schumer's new show is really funny.

I guess nobody will ever know.

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Of course trump will challenge the results. He will not take no for an answer.

Just ask Ivana trump, Jill hearth, Jean carrol, summer zervos, alva Johnson, Jessica leeds, Kristen Anderson, Lisa boyne, Cathy heller, temple McDowell, Amy dorris, Karena Virginia, karen Johnson, mindy mcgillivary, Jennifer Murphy, Rachael crooks, Natasha stoynoff, juillet huddy, Jessica drake, nin...

Son:Dad, why is my sister's name "Amy"?

Son: Dad, why is my sister's name "Amy"?
Dad: Because its an anagram for "May", the favorite month of your mother.
Son: Thanks for the help ,dad.
Dad: No problem, Alan.

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A literal version of 'your joke, but better': I got a tattoo of my girlfriend's name on my penis...

...in full, the tattoo says "FOR AMY" on it.

So I went to a bar, had a few drinks, went to take a leak, and noticed the guy next to me had "FOUR EARTH" tattooed on his.

I couldn't help but laugh and say to him "First off, you misspelled "FOR", secondly, you really think you'll get ever...

Amy Winehouse has become a real inspiration for me

She's going on 6 years sober now.

A doctor, priest, policeman, dog, Christian, comedian, blind man, Rabbi, firefighter, and Amy Schumer walk into a bar.

The bartender sighs and says, "My life is a joke."

What's the difference between Amy Schumer and a bank robber?

A bank robber steals something of value.

I would make a joke about Amy Schumers comedy career

but im afraid nobody will laugh

Did you know NBC once considered a diet & fitness show based on people such as Air Force Amy, Mary Magdalene, Heidi Fleiss, Charles Ponzi, Berni Madoff, and Donald Trump?

The pilot was cancelled because they didn't want to weigh the pros and the cons.

Kim Kardashian, Pitbull and Amy Schumer walk into a bar.

They set it lower.

Watching Amy Schumer is a lot like watching surgery.

Watching Amy Schumers Comedy is a lot like watching surgery videos on Youtube.
It's unsettling, it's gross and it doesn't make you laugh once.

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So Amy Schumer claims that a big time producer, sexually harassed her by asking her for a blow job.

Turns out, he was just telling her she sucks.

I would like to congratulate Amy Winehouse

on almost 4 years of sobriety.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Amy. Amy who?

It's amy, MARIO!

So I saw Amy Schumer perform live...

The Kentucky Derby really is magical!

It's 1975, and John and Amy had just gotten married.

They go grocery shopping for their first time as a married couple. They buy various items, including lots of jars of food.

They get home, and Amy starts unpacking. John notices something strange... Amy takes the first jar and opens it, closes it again, and puts it in the refrigerator. She goe...

Whats funnier than Amy Schumer?

The Holocaust

I was browsing Netflix the other day, and Happened upon the Amy Schumer special "Inside Amy Schumer." Looks like they couldn't use the original title idea due to copyright issues:

'Wide Open Spaces'

Why is Amy Schumer so unfunny?

Nobody knows, she stole the punchline.

Stop making jokes about how fat and disgusting Amy Schumer is.

You're stealing her material.

Amy Schumer had some great advice for her date.

You have to pretend like you want to use a condom. I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month.'

I hate it when Amy Schumer gets compared to whales

Whales are kind of funny you know

Everytime i say amy schumer is not funny, people will always reply with "that's because a woman said it" to which i usually say "yes...

Mostly because a guy said it first"

TIL: Amy Winehouse spent the last moment of her life watching her own video clips on Youtube before her death.

She must have read the comments.

What do MOAB and Amy Schumer have in common?

Apart from being plus-sized, they both really know how to bomb!

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Amy Schumer, Chelsea Handler, and Sarah Silverman walk into a bar...

Vagina!

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Whats the hardest part about watching Amy Schumer swim through a pool of dead babies?

Knowing she will make a shitty vagina joke about it.

How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada?

Piece of cake.

What did Amy Winehouse have in common with the Ghostbusters?

They both downed spirits.

What’s got 7 kids and loves to f**k women?

Amy Comey Barrett

What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common?

They both used to be on top gear.

Feel old yet?

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old.". Well . . . you'll love this one..The stuff is from a lady called Amy

"My name is Amy. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his ...

Did you hear that Elton John is singing at Amy Winehouse's funeral reception?

He will be singing "Candle Under the Spoon".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are hurricanes named after women?

Because when they come, they're wild and wet. And when they leave, they take your house and car.



(Fuck you, Amy!)

So a Sunday School teacher asks her class where Jesus is.

Little Susie says, “In Heaven!”

Little Amy says, “In my heart!”

Little Johnny says, “In my bathroom!”

Perplexed, the Sunday School teacher asks little Johnny why Jesus would be in his bathroom.

“I don’t know, I just hear my dad every morning banging on the bathroom door a...

They say if you have to explain a joke then it's not funny.

Which is probably why it took me so long to explain Amy Schumer to my mom.

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