1st grade teacher asked the students: What is the fastest thing in the world? Tony replied: lightning. Melanie said: light Jimmy said:
Diahrrea. The teacher asked Jimmy why He tought diahrrea was the fastest thing in the world? Jimmy said: Last night while sleeping I felt the urge to go to the bathroom, I got up as fast as a lightning went to turn the light on and before the light was on I had already shit myself.
Her friend tells her to always try to get to 10,000 steps a day to lose weight.
One night it's 11.30pm and her boyfriend hears footsteps downstairs. He goes down to find her walking around the living room backwards.
"What ARE you doing?" he asks.
"Melanie told me to do 10,000 s...
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a watermelon patch?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
While playing in my local basketball rec league, I once thought that my next game would be against the Boston Celtics.
I was proven wrong once the game started and I got a good look at the opponents. They wore grey instead of green. Likewise, Kemba Walker, Jayson Tatum, Gordon Hayward, and Jaylen Brown were nowhere to be found.
Instead, I found myself face-to-face with a bunch of stinky, over-weight neckbea...
A cantaloupe and a honeydew got married and had a baby girl.
They named her Melanie.