This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Julia was organizing a cat show

and needed a trophy for the first prize. So she contacted a sculptor to create a trophy that resembled a beautiful persian cat.

Julia and the sculptor got together to discuss the plans for this trophy. She wanted it to be made of the finest white marble base with the persian cat made enti...

"O Julia, You are like a fractal to me...

I enjoy zooming every part of you. "

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I entered ten puns into a pun contest

I was hoping at least one would win, and in fact seven did. The prize was that they would be published in the local paper.

A week after they were published, I was contacted by a huge publisher that said they liked my puns so much that they offered to pay me an advance to write a book of puns!...

[Long] Tom arrives home to find his notoriously perverted roommate Matt holding a packet of ice to his cheek.

Curious Tom pulls Matts hand away to find that the right side of his face is completely red and swollen.


"Goodness, what happened this time?" He asks.


"I met a hot girl at the bar with a perfect pair of 34 Es. She caught me sneaking a peak a few times." Matt replied.

...

The local radio station was asking listeners to call on with their favorite Stars in Horror Movie

I was the first caller and said "Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman"! Apparently enunciation is EVERYTHING.

Can anyone use the word "contagious" in a sentence?

Julia raises her hand. “Yes, Julia?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.”

“Very good, Julia!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Shazza raises her hand. “Yes, Shaz...

Two blonde roommates

One day julia's new roommate emma was bathing with the door open.

julia: Why are you bathing with the door open?

emma: I didn't want your stupid boyfriend peeping through the keyhole that's why!

A Mexican walked into a bar.

He was renowned for being a bad drunk, but at the same time, he couldn't help getting tipsy once in a while.

He had five shots, and was already losing it. A woman came and sat beside him before he pushed her off the stool and stabbed her right in the chest because 'this senore is smelling of ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 men walk into a corner shop,

one of them dressed like a clown the other in a plain ski mask. They go to the counter and say

"Empty the till, no one needs to get hurt!"

The clerk complies with all comands given to him. Just as they're about to leave the clown drops his trousers and takes a shit on the middle of the...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.