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What's the difference between Sara Palin's mouth and her vagina?

Only one retarded thing came out of her vagina.

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Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven

At the gate, St Peter said they could come in - but as a reward for having led absolutely blameless lives, he would allow them all to return to Earth in the body of anyone, living or dead, at any time of their lives, for 6 months.

The first thought a bit, and said she would like to be Soph...

A doctor and a truck driver...

A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a very beautiful woman named Sara and the competition is fierce. Right as the truck driver is starting to get in good with her, his company sends him on a week long job, but before he leaves he brings Sara 7 apples.
She says "It's perfect! 7 is ...

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Whats similar between a hurricane and women?

They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**

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Green ping pong ball.

These was once a girl, Sara, whos third birthday was coming up, and as this was the first time she was old enough to really understand what was happening, her parents asked her what she wanted.
"I want a green ping pong ball!" Sara answered immediately and without a hint of uncertainty. The par...

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Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Di...

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Blind Date

I once went on a blind date my friend set up for me. I had spoken to the girl on the phone a couple of times, nothing too deep, just about our families etc. I go to pick her up and she answered the door and she was gorgeous. I said "Sara?" She said "no I'm Tara, Sara's sister. You must be Von. Come ...

A blonde is proposed by her fiancee.

"Sara, will you marry me?"
"Yes, I will!"
"This ring is from my grandmother. She survived the holocaust with this."
"I didn't know they gave rings out to people during the holocaust"

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Every Friday, Ms. Jane ends class a little early...

and plays a game with the kids. She will read off famous quotes, and if one of the students in her 5th grade class can correctly name who said it, they get to leave school a little early. Today the quotes would come from US Presidents. She saw Tommy, who always won this game, sitting in the back, at...

If a chocolatier and a pastry chef have a child together, will they also make delicious food?

Not Nestle Sara Lee

Karma hits you in the face

Three women dies for some unknown reason, they dont know each other. We can call them Sara, Jenna and Robyn.

Before they can enter heaven, they needed to answer a simple question asked by God.

Sara was the first in line, God asked her: How many times have you cheated?

Sara loo...

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This man was about to propose, until she revealed this detail...

Steve and Sara met while on a Royal Caribbean singles cruise and Steve fell head over heels for her. And when they discovered they both lived in New York City Steve was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Steve had taken Sara to the mo...

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Two ladies are in the gym locker room ....

changing into their running outfits. One lady notices her friend's tummy and asks: "Sara, why is there wax in your belly button?" Sara says, "Oh, you'll never believe how romantic my boyfriend can be. He just loves to eat by candlelight."

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The Magic Lamp

A man whose wife had just divorced him was walking down along the beach trying to figure out what he was going to do next with his life. Suddenly his foot kicked something hard in the sand and he was immediately surrounded by smoke. A Booming voice said :

"I AM THE GENIE OF THE LAMP"
...

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The Naughty Friend

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.
She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"
The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."
So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I ...

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(Long One ) So there's radio contest called 'Mate Match'...

The DJ calls someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers 'yes', he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.


The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with(phone number) for verification....

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The most famous person of all times

Who is the most famous person of all times. That was a subject of a contest among Catholic School's 5th graders with $100 prize. The teacher asked Jon first. He said it was Bill Clinton. The next one was Kevin who said it was Gorge Washington. After collecting responses from almost all participants ...

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3 women are sitting together at a bar....

Laura, Sara, and Elizabeth.
Laura sips her drink and tells the other two,
"Did you know," she says, "that the men with the biggest feet have the best sex in bed?"
Astonished, Sara decides to go test this out. Once she leaves the bar, she sees a man with the biggest shoes she's ever seen. Sh...

Three nuns die and go to heaven

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Peter says “Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want.”

The first nun says “I want to be Sophia Loren” and POOF she's gone...

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