Rob and Samantha ...

Rob and Samantha Henders just got married but they were having some communication issues – that’s a nice way of saying they were fighting. One day, they were in the car driving down a country road, each not saying a word after a particularly intense fight.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and p...

What have jesus amd samantha geimer got in common?

They both got nailed by a Roman.

Contagious

At school one day, Little Johnny's teacher asks the class to use the word "contagious" in a sentence...

Cindy raises her hand. "Yes, Cindy?" She answers, "I was at the dentist's office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contag...

Samantha got married

Samantha got married. And on the first day of their honeymoon, she and her husband had a fight. After a few hours of screaming and yelling Samantha cries and calls her mother.

Samamtha: "Ma, me and Steve had a fight."

Mother: "Oh, my dear Samantha, don't worry. I too had a fight with y...

John and Lorraine were inseparable.

They played together, went to school together, ate together, grew up together, argued with each other, made up with each other, and then eventually, they married each other.
One day at work, John meets a new coworker, Samantha Cleary -- she didn't like being called Samantha or Sam, so she went by...

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So today in math class my teacher asked me a question

She said "If I hand you twenty dollars and you give 5 dollars to Laura, 5 dollars to Amelia and 5 dollars to Samantha, what will you have left?"

Apparently 3 blowjobs and a kabob wasn't the answer...

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Robert

“Did you know there’s 1.5 gallons of blood in an average person” One of the girls at our lunch table looked at him in disgust, and looked away.

Robert was a weird ass kid. None of us were friends with him, and we didn’t pay any attention to him, so it was a surprise to see his greasy self sit...

"Mummy, can I lick the bowl?"

"No Samantha you can flush like everyone else does"

The Perfect Family

Samantha Ritter thought her life couldn't be any better. Her husband, Dyl, was always there when she needed him and they both had excellent well-paying jobs. Their teenage son, Jeffrey, had never been anything other than polite, loving, and exceptionally bright. He was a straight A student, and also...

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It's the first day of 3rd grade...

Their teacher wanted them to behave more grown up since they were no longer in second grade.

As such, the teacher told them to use grownup words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer.

Susie went first and said she went to see her Nana....

gross and not PC, but funny...

A guy walks into a brothel, and the madam greets him at the counter. He explains that he would like to have a go, but he is a little short on cash. The madam points to a very plain looking woman sitting in the parlor, and says "Well, that's Brenda. She will cost you $20." The guy explains that he re...

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A Foot and a Half!

It is Samantha's wedding day, which also means it is the first time she will get to make love to her newly-wed husband. Being nervous due to the fact that it was her first sexual experience, she asked her mom to be in the house in case something went wrong. Agreeing to this, Samantha takes her husba...

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