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Aced Jokes

Not to brag, but I aced the drug test at work today.

Nobody got higher than me.

I just aced my philosophy test

The question was, "What is the central question of epistemology?" I answered, "How should I know?"

Which animal aced our Elementary Algebra exam?

The g-raph.

I just aced my IQ test

I got 90 out of 100!



(The sad reality: a person I met IRL was extremely proud that he scored 75 points on his IQ test because he thought the scale went to 100.)

I aced my chemistry test on the pH scale...

It was really basic.

The gynocologist turned mechanic...

After 20 years in the industry, a gynecologist decides he wants to try something new, so he takes some classes on automotive work. After completing the final, which consisted of a written test and a practical, he asked his instructor how he did.

"Well, you earned 150 points out of 100." The I...

I aced the interview for my dream job and now i just need to pass the drug test

I'm gonna nail this too I do so many drugs

The professor gave me a C on my Latin exam...

Aced it!

A man and his wife are speeding down the highway when they get stopped by a police officer

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" The officer asks
"Not really" the man answers
"Don't worry, sir, you're not in trouble, I actually pulled you over because I find the way you drive your car really impressive, you're a skilled driver, I bet you aced your driving exam and really earned that ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jaque' "non numeru un" flying ace!

Come and I will tell you of a man named Jaque' "mon numeru un flying ace". He was the greatest ace pilot in all of France. He spoke of a woman he once wooed, saying:
"I took this woman to my quarters and placed her on my bed. I tore her blouse open exposing her beautiful breast. Then I poured w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A black guy walked into the Bar...

Exam with great confidence aced that shit and is now a very successful lawyer.

Get your heads right people sheesh.

A gynecologist decided to become a mechanic...

He graduated mechanic school with a 5.2 gpa and asked his teacher how that was possible.

The teacher said "Well, you aced the written exam thats half. Then you reassembled the motor perfectly, and we had to give you the extra credit when you did it all through the Muffler"!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A magician was performing on a cruise ship

A magician was doing a show for passengers aboard a cruise ship. A part of his act was his pet parrot, who would entertain guests by talking. However, the parrot was being particularly difficult that night.

The magician held up an ordinary cloth, and with a flick of the wrist, it was gone...

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