Two old ladies go to a baseball game with a jug of whiskey. Name the inning and number of players on the bases.
Bottom of the fifth, bags are loaded.
It was so quiet in Chicago during the last inning.
You could hear the gunshots.
In honor of the Braves' victory, Lets remember Mel Famey, a pitcher for the old Milwaukee Braves.
It was the last game of the season and all the other relief pitchers had been used for a double header, and Mel had driven to the park with his car full of cans of a product Milwaukee had become known for. Truth be told, he was pretty nervous before the game, because he knew he would be called on ...
My dad passed away yesterday (this is true). He was 87 and had a good innings. We've done the bulk of our grieving and all is good. My brother sent me this message this morning:
"I reckon dad has already told Eddie Van Halen to turn the volume down."
The one about the mental patients and the baseball game
There once was a doctor at a mental hospital, who had to take care of the craziest and most mentally unstable patients in the hospital, which they called the "nuts." The doctor, along with his assistant, would soon get through a breakthrough by giving them simple orders and addressing them as "nuts....
Is baseball mentioned in the bible?
In the "big inning"
A baseball manager calls up a Chinese rookie from the minor leagues
The player shows up before his first game and goes to take batting practice. The manager sees him walking to the batter's box with a frying pan sitting on his head. He says "You can't wear a frying pan in the batter's box, son. You need a helmet."
The player responds: "This is my lucky frying...
Did you know baseball was played in the Old Testament?
In the big inning, Adam took one, Eve took one, and the Lord threw them both out.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A British woman was touring the United States, and decided to go to a baseball game
She didn't understand the rules, but figured she could learn them by watching everyone else.
In the first inning, a batter hit a grounder and started running to first base. The man seated next to the woman jumped to his feet and shouted, "Run, you sunnuvabitch, run!"
A couple of innin...
A guy was trying to find a parking space at a baseball game
and he was already missing the first inning, so he prayed to God and said "If you find a parking space for me I promise I'll never miss church again." Just then a car pulled out of a space right in front of him, and the guy said "Never mind, I just found one."
(Long joke) A man is dying of a rare disease...
This disease has left his body covered in large, bright, yellow, pus-filled craters and has grown exponentially worse over the course of a few months. The man is told by numerous doctors that there is no cure to his life- threatening illness and he doesn't have much time to live.
newly immigrated to the U.S. wants to immerse himself in American life, so he goes to a baseball game. He has no clue how it's played, but every time the batter takes off for first base all the people around him yell, "Run! Run!" So he stands up and yells, "Rrrrun, laddie! Rrrrun!"
In the fou...
A young lady from a very conservative family is finally allowed to go on her first date. The young man picks her up and they go to a baseball game.
The game was a little boring, so to avoid any awkwardness, the guy gets an idea. He says to his date, "I have a little game we can play, if you...
A guy is sitting in the left field bleachers of a baseball stadium, watching the game. In the first inning, someone pretty far behind him yells, "HEY DAVE!" The guy turns around and can't find who was yelling it.
This happens again in the fourth inning, and once more in the seventh. Frustrate...
Baseball & Football -George Carlin
Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allo...
Favorite joke of my late grandfather
A British man comes to America and decides he needs to do at least one really American thing before he leaves. He decides to go to a baseball game. After a couple of innings he thinks that he's got the gist of it and when the next batter hits he stands up in his seat and says "Run swiftly my man, ru...