Three old women sneak some Jack Daniels into a baseball game, taking shots after each half inning. What inning is it now?
It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded.
It was so quiet in Chicago during the last inning.
You could hear the gunshots.
My dad passed away yesterday (this is true). He was 87 and had a good innings. We've done the bulk of our grieving and all is good. My brother sent me this message this morning:
"I reckon dad has already told Eddie Van Halen to turn the volume down."
Is baseball mentioned in the bible?
In the "big inning"
The one about the mental patients and the baseball game
There once was a doctor at a mental hospital, who had to take care of the craziest and most mentally unstable patients in the hospital, which they called the "nuts." The doctor, along with his assistant, would soon get through a breakthrough by giving them simple orders and addressing them as "nuts....
What was Ghandi’s favorite part of a baseball game?
The seventh inning stretch.
A baseball manager calls up a Chinese rookie from the minor leagues
The player shows up before his first game and goes to take batting practice. The manager sees him walking to the batter's box with a frying pan sitting on his head. He says "You can't wear a frying pan in the batter's box, son. You need a helmet."
The player responds: "This is my lucky frying...
Did you know baseball was played in the Old Testament?
In the big inning, Adam took one, Eve took one, and the Lord threw them both out.
A guy was trying to find a parking space at a baseball game
and he was already missing the first inning, so he prayed to God and said "If you find a parking space for me I promise I'll never miss church again." Just then a car pulled out of a space right in front of him, and the guy said "Never mind, I just found one."
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A British woman was touring the United States, and decided to go to a baseball game
She didn't understand the rules, but figured she could learn them by watching everyone else.
In the first inning, a batter hit a grounder and started running to first base. The man seated next to the woman jumped to his feet and shouted, "Run, you sunnuvabitch, run!"
A couple of innin...
(Long joke) A man is dying of a rare disease...
This disease has left his body covered in large, bright, yellow, pus-filled craters and has grown exponentially worse over the course of a few months. The man is told by numerous doctors that there is no cure to his life- threatening illness and he doesn't have much time to live.
A young lady from a very conservative family is finally allowed to go on her first date. The young man picks her up and they go to a baseball game.
The game was a little boring, so to avoid any awkwardness, the guy gets an idea. He says to his date, "I have a little game we can play, if you...
newly immigrated to the U.S. wants to immerse himself in American life, so he goes to a baseball game. He has no clue how it's played, but every time the batter takes off for first base all the people around him yell, "Run! Run!" So he stands up and yells, "Rrrrun, laddie! Rrrrun!"
In the fou...
Plank goes to a ball game
A small plank of wood goes to Watch a baseball game. For the first few innings, the plank is super into it. But by the seventh inning, its interest starts to fade.
A man nearby notices the fading enjoyment and starts up a conversation.
"Hey man, how you liking the game?" He asks. ...
Baseball & Football -George Carlin
Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allo...
Favorite joke of my late grandfather
A British man comes to America and decides he needs to do at least one really American thing before he leaves. He decides to go to a baseball game. After a couple of innings he thinks that he's got the gist of it and when the next batter hits he stands up in his seat and says "Run swiftly my man, ru...