Our Mexican friend is a whiz when it comes to assembling IKEA furniture.

He is our instruction Manuel.

What do you call an empty jar of Cheese Whiz?

Cheese Wuz

Trivia whiz

I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question I got wrong.
The question was where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer.
Hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?

did you hear about the mathematics whiz who was afraid of negative numbers?

his phobia was so bad that he will stop at nothing to avoid them.

dedicated to my special friend blader2601.

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Mark and Bubba, two army buddies are on leave and decide to go to Bubba's house and get drunk.

Lo and behold they run out of beer so Bubba says that he will go for more. As he is leaving he tells his wife Linda-Lou to show Mark her best southern hospitality which she agrees to do.

Bubba comes back with the beer and finds Mark and Linda-Lou fucking right on the kitchen floor. Bubba yell...

My religion is Euphemism.

I worship Gosh and his son Gee Whiz, so I won't be darned to heck.

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A man goes duck hunting at a local pond, he feels the need to relieve himself...

so he leans his shotgun up against a tree and starts to take a whiz, when suddenly a strong gust of wind comes along, and knocks the gun over. The weapon goes off and shoots birdshot into the man's penis.

Later, at the hospital, the doctor gives him the news: "I'm afraid your penis sustained...

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An American Jew immigrates to Israel

He moves into a high-rise apartment in Tel Aviv and gets an office job. After a few days, he starts to feel like he's missing out on all the colour of being in the Middle East, so he goes and buys a camel. Each day he rides the camel to work, while Israelis whiz past him on the highway in their cars...

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There is a store in Spain that sells exquisite handmade writing instruments.

This store has all kinds of bespoke fountain pens and rollerball pens and even ball point pens. There are pens made of fine hard woods and precious metals inlaid with all kinds of gems. These pens are all handmade by artisans who have been in the business for generations.

But what really sets...

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup when the doctor asked how he was feeling.

''I've never been better!'' he boasted. ''I've got an 18 year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?''

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, ''Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one da...

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Goatlover

A man gets arrested for making love to a goat in his barn and is facing beastiality charges. The man talks to his lawyer before the trial wondering what he could do to get out of it. His lawyer tells him that he will be in front of a jury, and his best bet would be to appeal to them. His lawyer tell...

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman find a magic slide...

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman find a magic slide with a steep drop at the bottom. A notice on the slide tells them that they will be given whatever they say while going down and to use it with caution.

The Englishman goes first and screams "Gooooold". He lands on a pile of gold an...

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