40's Jokes - 14 Hilarious 40's Jokes

I'm in my 40's and have never used essential oils in my life...

...which makes me think they're not really essential at all

The worst thing about being in my 40's is that I can't get teenaged girls to sleep with me.

It's like being a teenager again.

You know what the most popular game was in jewish communities back in the 1930's and 40's ?

Hide n' seek

Two men in their 40's are discussing their wives

"After being married for 20 years she has gotten slack down there, how do deal with it?"
"You should try it other hole!"
"No way, I don't want another kid!"

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Mother daughter action.

A man in his 20's and a few of his friend were at a bar for drinks when a lady in her mid to late 40's started to buy him drinks. Throughout the coarse of the night she kept insisting he go back to her place just around the corner. The man was reluctant but his friends were encouraging him to do it ...

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Old Ladies at the Beach

A man at the nude beach is checking his tan and realizes there's one part of him that isn't tanned. Yep, THAT part. So, he covers it liberally with suntan lotion and proceeds to bury himself in the sand leaving only his mouth, nose, and member exposed.

Two old ladies are walking down the pa...

A married couple goes to the fair...

The couple is in their 40's and haven't been in about 20 years, since before they got married. The husband sees a sign that reads "Helicopter Rides: $50". He then turns to his wife and says, "Ethel, let's ride the helicopter. I've always wanted to ride a helicopter, I think it'd be romantic. We can ...

One night, back when I was in my late 20's, I was at a bar having a cold one.

An attractive older woman - probably late 30's or early 40's - sat down next to me, and we began chatting. After a couple hours and several drinks, she asks me, "Hey, have you ever had a threesome with a mother and daughter?"

"No, I haven't," I reply.

"Would you like to?" she asks, ey...

Pick up lines change as you get older.

In your 20's - I have an original 1965 Ford Mustang.

In your 40's - I have an original Picasso.

In your 60's - I have my original hips

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A family is at a dinner table.

Suddenly the son ask the father " Dad how many kinds of boobs are there".

The father surprised answers "Well son a woman goes through three phases. In her 20's they are like melons , rough and firm . In her 30's and 40's they are like pears, still nice,but hanging a bit. But in her 50's they...

Man speeding a BMW..

A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the Interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
...

Exercise for the over 40 crowd.

I came across this exercise suggested for the over 40's to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders.
The article suggested doing it three days a week.
Begin by standing on a comfortable, flat surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 1kg potato bag in each hand, extend...

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A young man strips down naked at a beach.

As he's lying on the sand naked he notices two very elderly women walking his way.

To prevent the women from having any sort of anxiety attack, the man quickly covers himself with sand not realizing his penis was still sticking out.

As both women approach they stop and stare in shock...

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Man wanting to commit suicide

So a man in his mid 40's just got fired from his job as a watch salesman. He goes home in his broken down car to break the news to his wife only to find out that she's been cheating on him with his extremely successful best friend. "Thats it" he thinks and jumps out his window. Unfortunately he land...

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