UPJOKE
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Bop Jokes

I joined a local scat group on Facebook recently who said they were having a meet up

Once I showed up and saw what they were doing to each other, I realized my mistake and skiddy-be-bop-a-do’d out of there as fast as I could.

Bop it!

Bop it! *Bops it*

Twist it! *Twists it*

Pull it! *Pulls it*

Bobbit! *Gets a knife*

One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers.

One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers. They traveled to a Hydra base surrounded by four barriers.

When they got to the first barrier, Hulk smashed it.

When they got to the second barrier, Tony Stark fired up his Iron Man suit and blasted a hole through it.

When they got to the t...

A wife tells her husband that she's discovered his secret fetish via his search history...

"It was a weird one for sure," she says, "but I think I can make it work without being too embarrassed, as long as you don't film it." He accepts.

Later that night, he asks her if she wants to try it. She smiles, begins to undress, and goes "SKIPPITY BEE BOP BEE BOP DUP-A DUAAA"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Interview with Scatman John

In 1998 an interview was conducted with Scatmam John who in turn passed the following year. During the interview, Charlie Rose brought up John’s 1995 hit single ‘Scatman (Ski Ba Bop Ba Dop Bop)’ and asked him: “Are you aware that the term ‘scat’ is a term used for sexual practices involving fecal ma...

A lady walks into a perfumery and asks for the perfumer for his finest fragrance.

"Doobie woobie blue bop", says the perfumer.

Confused she looks around and notices that all of the bottles on the shelves are empty. "Do you keep them in the back?" she asks

"Flim flam flibidy blam", says the perfumer.

The lady sniffs the air, then looks at him strangely and as...

Guy at party: “So, what do you do for a living?”

Me: “I sanitize raunchy songs for Kidz Bop. You may know some of my best work, such as N.W.A.’s “Find tha Police”, Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer (I wanna pet you like an animal)”, and Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby got Backpack”.

I told my doctor I was having trouble sleeping

I told my doctor I was having trouble sleeping and he suggested I try white noise. Unfortunately not only did it make my sleep worse, I've also had *Mmmm Bop* stuck in my head now for the last three days.

An oldie my Dad constantly tells me

Two men walk into the the theatre to watch a charlie chaplin film. Guy 1 makes a bet: "I bet Chaplin gets bopped the moment he walks around the corner" and guy 2 accepts.

They watch the film and as predicted, Chaplin get hit on the head so guy 2 has to pay up.

The first guy returns th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some Gorillas are getting drunk in the Belgian Congo... (NSFW)

So some gorillas are having some beers and goofing off at the edge of the forest in the Belgian Congo, clowning on each other, doing impressions, etc. one of them looks toward the bordering savanna and notices a lion intently stalking a distant antelope.

“Check out Mr. King of the Jungle ove...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Franks Death

One day Frank a 80yr old marine veteran working construction with his super strong body gets a call while lifting cinder blocks.

Frank “Hello whose this?”

His neighbor “hey Frank it’s your neighbor and I have bad news for ya, your wife is having an affair I can see it all from my 2nd f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A talented but unemployed jazz pianist.

A talented but unemployed jazz pianist/composer was walking down Second Avenue in New York contemplating his sad life when he sees a sign in a restaurant window that says "Jazz pianist wanted, full time position." Elated at his good fortune he goes inside to apply for the job.

He meets the ma...

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