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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway an...

A man is walking in a storm, alone and lost. He then comes upon a Monastery.

Having no place to go, the poor man approaches the wooden desolate door of the old Monastery and knocks upon the door. The door opens to a rather withered old Monk, who greets the man. “I am the Head Monk of this monastery. Can I help you?” The man asks for refuge overnight and is taken up into the ...

What kind of cancer do gnomes get?

Mela-gnome-a
Written by Ruby, age 7 (almost 8). Surprisingly dark.

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I used to date a twin a few years back. People would ask me how I could tell the difference between the two.

It was in fact quite easy. There were subtle but notable differences. For example my gf had a small birthmark right below her left ear on her neck and she always painted her nails a ruby shade.

Her brother Dave had a cock.

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Two women sit on a porch in plantation times:

One is the daughter of a rich plantation owner and the other is the daughter of an average middle class southerner. The rich daughter loves to brag so naturally she looks over at the middle class daughter and says "My daddy just got me this pretty dress, see all these intricate frills?" the middle c...

A man’s car breaks down on a dim lot road in the middle of no where.

He calls a mechanic to come but he won’t be able to get to him till the next morning and it’s getting quite cold. He gets out his car and starts walking down the road to see if he can find anyone to help him. About 5 minutes down the road he finds a monastery with some monks in. They invite him in a...

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American marine looks for a seat in a train

In one compartment, he finds a seat near a French elderly woman looking very important. Unfortunately, that seat is occupied by that woman's chihuahua. So he politely asks her if he can sit there.

She very angrily responds: “You Americans are so rude! My Ruby is sitting there!”

He give...

A woman decided to have her portrait painted.

She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.”

“But you are not wearing any of those things,” replied the artist.

“I know,” she said. “But if I die before my husband, I’m sure he’ll remarry right away, an...

A frog walks into a bank...

...and proceeds to ask the Asian teller, Ms. Patricia Wok, for a $5,000 loan. Absolutely gobsmacked at a talking frog she mechanically goes through the procedure, asking him if he has any references. As a matter of fact, he replies, my dad's Mick Jagger, he's a musician. Okay, she says hesitantly...

A Gem Joke that Rocks

Diamond: Hey, Ruby, did you hear that I'm getting embedded into a statue next Tuesday?

Ruby: But we were going fishing on Tuesday! You sure you can't change the date?

Diamond: Sorry Ruby, it's set in stone.

It was career day in Elm Park Elementary School...

and each student had to write about their dad's profession. Ruby wrote about her dad being a doctor and David wrote about his dad being a construction work.

When the teacher asked Johnny he said, "My dad is a pimp and a drug fiend."

"What?!?! Johnny, be honest. I know that's not what ...

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