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Antidepressant Jokes

I came up with a great name for an antidepressant

Woe-Be-Gone

To whoever stole my antidepressants:

I hope you're happy now.

I told my doctor "yoga is the best antidepressant available"

"Sounds like a bit of a stretch", he replied

Last weekend, I tried throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants...

But nobody came

Banned from the grocery store

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Prolax is a new antidepressant...

It's half prozac and half laxatives.

So that you can't help but give a shit.

Earlier today six dwarfs stole my antidepressants.

Not Happy.

To the person who stole my bag with my antidepressants, my glasses and my Microsoft office CD in.

I hope your happy, I will find you, I have contacts, you have my word.

Miracle of Science

I'm balding and that makes me sad. But thanks to the miracle of science...

I take antidepressants and now I'm never sad.

Science has developed a new antidepressant that is administered rectally

They call them Suppositives

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This morning I accidentally took Viagra instead of my antidepressant

It's been a hard day to get through

Did you hear about the man who accidentally took laxatives instead of his antidepressants?

He felt empty inside

Money can't buy happiness

but it can buy antidepressants

I'm depressed because the store just ran out of the thing I wanted to buy for Christmas

It was antidepressant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man has been getting chronic headaches...

...and after seeing specialist after specialist, one finally determines that the cause comes from his testicles being compressed. Unfortunately, the specialist tells him that the only solution at this time is to remove his testicles, or else he'll just continue having horrible headaches.

The ...

Prescription drug recall

The pharmaceutical company AvKare has issued a recall for two of their drugs which were accidentally switched. An antidepressant and a drug to treat erectile dysfunction.

This explains why my grandfather has been so moody yet my grandmother has been so happy!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets diarrhea and decides to ask for help to his neighbor who happens to be a doctor.

He crosses the road and rings to the door.
The neighbor welcomes him in:

“Hey, how are you? Sorry if I’m in a hurry but I need to leave in half an hour and I’m still packing. Do you need anything?”

“Oh, I didn’t know, sorry to bother you, I just wanted to ask for advice really quick...

I started out with $20 in my pocket, and if i had a dollar for everytime someone told me I'd be a huge success...

I'd have $5, the antidepressants cost fifteen

10 best one-liners from the 2019 Edinburgh fringe

**"I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have Florets".**

The gag won 41% of the vote.

## Best of the rest

Ten jokes made the 2019 shortlist. Here are the next nine:

* "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they'r...

I didn't have any candy at Halloween...

So I gave out my antidepressants.

It made the kids happy, but it was a real downer for me.

A man is at a doctor's office

"Alright, this ones an antidepressant, this ones a painkiller, this one is anti infection, and take this one every day for the wound to heal faster. I also recommend taking this with the rest of them, it's easier that way."

"Doctor, do you have anything other than vodka?"

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